Warning: YAOI.
Disclaimer: chartacers not mine. Unfortunately.
High school fall sports were just around the corner and my friend, Renji, was on a mad dash to buy all his equipment in time. He never had any real interest in soccer, but once his childhood friend, Rukia, became the team manager, he developed an obsession with getting on the team. So, on one fine sunny afternoon that would have been better spent on the basketball court, Renji dragged me and a few of our friends to a random sports shop. While Renji was trying to pick out a ball, I zoned out the loud bickering of Renji and Iba over which soccer ball had the coolest design and focused on my own troubles.
Truthfully, I couldn't spare the time fooling around with Renji and the others. I had been looking for a job for the past few weeks and I needed to find one soon. Ever since my mentor, Tousen, disappeared, I was short a job and living expenses. My parents weren't providing, so I had to take care of myself. I was discouraged since no one wanted to hire a punk covered in scars, so I took this little field trip to Karakura Sports as a welcome distraction. I didn't realize, though, that we were soon going to overstay our welcome.
"Look, this one has a dragon!" Renji shouted.
"Dragons are just tacky and unmanly lizards. This tiger, though-" Iba started.
"TIGER? Are you trying to say that a stupid cat is cooler than a dragon?"
"Your bellowing is annoying and crude. Stop it. And if you must know, that purple ball is more beautiful than either of those two monstrosities," Yumichika interrupted.
"Like you know anything, fruitcake!" Renji snapped. A noticeable tick appeared on Yumichika's forehead and Ikkaku placed a hand on his friend's shoulder to keep the self-proclaimed beautiful man from tearing the two apart.
"These dumbasses aren't worth it," Ikkaku muttered.
"Shut up, baldy," an irritated Renji spat.
"I'M NOT BALD. GET OVER HERE SO I CAN RIP YOU A NEW ASSHOLE!"
By this time, I paused my moping in favor of calming everyone down before we were kicked out. The office door banged open while I was wrestling a baseball bat from Ikkaku.
"Let go, Shuuhei! I'm gonna-"
"SHUT UP, YOU BRATS!" someone roared. A moment later, a muscular (and scary) white haired man came stomping out of his office.
First came the shock of seeing a human weapon barreling towards us. Then came the shock of actually recognizing said weapon. I couldn't believe it, but I wouldn't mistake the person in front of me even if I was blind. But the joy didn't last very long since my childhood hero, Kensei Muguruma, looked very, very angry and we unfortunately were the target of that anger.
Instead of destroying us, an irate Muguruma spent the next half hour helping a now silent Renji finding all the supplies he needed. Muguruma never once looked my way and I was a bit disappointed that he didn't recognize me. I had to remind myself that our last meeting was seven years before and normal people don't remember the faces of snot-nosed brats they met for five minutes that long ago. Not to mention how much I changed over seven years.
The day I had first met Kensei Muguruma had started with me and my friends getting kicked off the soccer field by a bunch of teenagers. We, being only ten years old, gave in without a fight and headed elsewhere. That elsewhere turned out to be on the bank of the river. I must have been closer to the edge than I realized, since one moment I was on dry land and then I wasn't. My friends either didn't realize what happened or they were too afraid to dive in after me. I couldn't swim, so I found myself with a mouth full of water and not knowing which way was up. I was dizzy and y flailing tired me out quickly. I was convinced I was going to die. With one last gurgle, I raised my hands above my head. I didn't know what I was expecting, but a large and strong hand grabbing my wrist wasn't it. I was pulled above the surface and was clutched to a muscled body that was just as soaked as I was. All I remembered after that was a masculine face, grey hair, and the words "be strong and glad you're alive". I was too terrified to ask for his name and I didn't know him, but I was certain that he was someone great.
When I met him again, I wasn't sure whether to approach him or not. The man obviously had no recollection of me and he didn't seem to be in the best mood either. I settled for staring at him out of the corner of my eye and coming back to the store the next day to apply for a job, killing two birds with one stone. Even if he had no idea who I was, I would be content just being near him.
Muguruma didn't turn out to be exactly what I expected. I had imagined some brave hero. Of course, the outburst should have tipped me off, but I was floating on cloud nine at the time. I slowly realized that he was aggressive and easily irritated. That didn't matter, since he was also dependable, caring -despite how much he tried to hide it-, and he would never abandon anyone. I still admired him. I still thought he was a great man. I still couldn't believe my luck at finding him again.
I walked through the doorway of Karakura Sports, cautiously glancing around before taking another step in. I'd been hired a few months ago and in that time I realized that the small store could easily become a battle ground. After determining the shop violence-free, I pulled on the customary blue vest and strolled over to the office.
I knocked on the door and peeked into the room. I immediately ducked back out again as a stapler whirled past my head.
"You bitch!" Kensei bellowed.
"But Kensei, I just wanted to buy some sweets~-"
"Then use your own damn money!"
"You're so mean~ You're no fun at all!"
"Why you-!"
I decided it was time for me to make my entrance, before Kensei strangled Mashiro, the full time worker at the shore. She and Kensei had a long history, but for some reason Kensei never developed an immunity against her immaturity.
"Kensei, do you need any help with the receipts?" I volunteered. It had taken me two months for me to be able to call him anything other than Muguruma-san, since that was quite a mouthful.
Kensei paused mid-rant and sighed. He took a few deep breaths before turning towards me.
"Nah. Just restock the baseballs. I'll have Mashiro actually do some work around here," he grumbled before stalking off.
"Aw, Kensei's in a bad mood," Mashiro complained.
"He wouldn't be so moody if you didn't try to annoy him all the time," I reminded her.
"But, Shuu-chan, it's so much fun!"
The girl was hopeless.
I always wondered what happened in the past for Kensei and Mashiro to have formed such a strong and strange bond. I never tried so ask and he never offered. I sometimes debated whether to tell him about my time with Tousen or not, but always decided against it. Kensei didn't need to know and didn't show any interest. It was probably the same reasoning that kept him from including me in his complicated past. The more you know, the more you get hurt when everything falls to shit. Kensei's general aloofness and protectiveness over Mashiro, despite her usually annoying personality, made it seem like their struggles weren't over. I was curious, but something told me that subject was off-limits. I didn't have the guts to break that unspoken law.
The baseball aisle was a mess. The peewee Yankees had ransacked the place. It was a tedious task, but I did my job as diligently and productive as usual. Not to brag, but I was a good worker. And a good cook. I could play guitar pretty well, too-
"Hisagi, do you know where Mashiro put the account books?"
I was also good at being patient. Patient. Patient….
The rest of the day passed without hindrance. I was about to lock up the shop when someone tapped on the window. I glanced up, and despite my renowned cool and collected personality, I was almost sick with dread. As much as I loved Kensei and Mashiro, they usually wore me out. However, Shinji and the always pleasant Hiyori brought exhaustion to another level. And guess who was standing on the opposite side of the door.
I must have hesitated in opening the door, since Shinji put on a sad puppy face the moment he walked in.
"Aw, Shuuhei, aren't you pleased to see me; the amazing-"
"Shut it, dumbass!"
At this point, I walked away with "I'll tell Kensei you're here." I had to get away before Mashiro was thrown into the mix. I watched from a distance as Shinji and Hiyori talked with Kensei and Mashiro. From the looks on their faces, it was something important. I wasn't going to ask about it. Kensei and the group of seven others were nice enough, but they liked to keep to themselves. I had only known them for three months. I wasn't a part of their family, so I turned a blind eye to situations like this. It shouldn't have hurt, but sometimes I felt a pang in my chest whenever I was excluded.
Shinji left with Hiyori chasing after him with her sandal. Kensei was leaning on a shelf, his brows furrowed and mouth set in a frown. I always hated it when he looked troubled. As much as I didn't like the thought of Kensei being upset, I despised not being able to do anything about it. I liked making Kensei happy, calming him down, or cheering him up when Mashiro created an unusually large mess of things. Pain was not something I wanted to see on Kensei's face. It hurt me as well.
"Hey, Shuuhei," Kensei called before I left for the day. "Take the next few days off. You're young; hang out with your friends or something instead of being cooped up in here all day."
I nodded, said goodbye, and walked out of the shop. I knew my forced absence from work had something to do with what Shinji told Kensei and the past they shared. I knew I was being kept out of it. Of course, I expected that. And hated it.
I hated being kept out of the loop. Tousen had done the same thing before he betrayed me. Now Kensei was doing the same thing. If they needed to, Kensei and Mashiro would vanish along with everyone else. I wouldn't be able to stand being left behind again. I had kept out of their business because I was an outsider, but I had to get involved this time to keep from being abandoned again.
I had to.
The three days that passed gave me enough time to figure out my plan. Unfortunately, it had the potential of completely backfiring. However, I couldn't think of anything else that would put me in a better situation. I wasn't one to take risks, but if I had a reason I was capable of doing very stupid things.
After my short-term exile was complete, I went in to work and immediately saw Kensei hunched over and brooding. The expression wasn't very different from usual, but I could tell the difference.
When I had been planning, I pondered over whether to act at the beginning or end of my shift. Eventually, I decided to just do it when I had a good chance. I hated going in without a set plan, but it was the best I could come up with since Kensei could be unpredictable. I only hoped that he would realize that I wanted to know what was going on and by some miracle he would respect my feelings.
Kensei was in his office, finishing up some accounts. The second he finished, he would get started right on the next set of work he designated for the day. It was a good a time and chance as any. I took a deep breath and walked into the office. It felt as though my heart was trying to do cartwheels out of my chest.
"Kensei," I started, leaning against his desk. He looked up at me, annoyed that I interrupted him. He was meticulously responsible with his paperwork.
"What is it?" he grumbled.
"I never told you what I was doing before working here. I doubt you care, but I wanted to inform you. We've become close and I don't want any misconceptions."
Kensei put his work down and looked up at me. "I don't see how your previous employer has anything to do with 'misconceptions'. Get back to work so I can finish this."
Okay. So he was going to be difficult. I planted my feet firmly on the floor to stop their trembling. I had spent quite a few years training to be a businessman with Tousen and I prided myself on being calm in almost any situation. Now, a little talk and my neurons were having a field day. Pathetic.
"I used to work for Kaname Tousen," I said anyway. I had too much at stake for either of us to weasel out of this. I didn't know how Kensei would react to my insistence, but I expected something along the lines of him gruffly telling me to shut up and get the hell out before he clobbered me. Instead, he almost lurched out of his chair. His eyes were wide. "Ummm…" I stalled, forgetting my next move for a moment.
"You used to work for Tousen," Kensei stated. I nodded and his mouth twisted into a strained grimace. "You're only eighteen. How could you work for a large company and powerful business man?"
"He was my mentor. Picked me up since I was smart and needed some help." I had to know why Tousen's name meant so much to Kensei, but Kensei gained control of the situation and I could only answer his questions. "After my parents got divorced, my mom disappeared and my dad wasn't exactly in the state of mind to support me. Like I said, I'm smart and Tousen must've thought I'd be useful when I got older."
"If you're so smart, why are you working here?" Kensei asked carefully. Great, now he's suspicious of me.
"I think you can guess why." He couldn't. He couldn't possibly know the real reason why I wanted to work for him and I wasn't going to tell him. "Tousen was my mentor, teaching me about business. I even got my own paycheck. Everything was due to Tousen, so everything fell apart when he, Aizen, and Gin betrayed the company. Tousen left me behind and everyone was suspicious of me because I'd been so close to him, so I quit. I was just as confused and hurt as they were. Afterwards, I just wanted a simple job with no strings attached." Tousen, Aizen, and Gin left with money, assets, and too much power for a man like Aizen to handle. I hadn't been able do anything about it. That hurt, but that alone wouldn't make me stray from my chosen path.
Kensei didn't say anything for a while. Then he stared at me straight in the eye and held my gaze.
"How do you feel about Tousen now?" Kensei asked me. I could hear his voice shaking. I still wasn't sure what connected Kensei and Tousen or why Kensei even wanted to know. I was hesitant to answer, but I found myself doing so anyway.
"I don't know why Tousen betrayed the company or what he is after. But I want to show Tousen that he was wrong for hurting so many people. Especially for letting a man like Aizen control so much of the economy." My voice was uneven, despite my attempts to keep myself calm. I tried to search Kensei's face for a reaction, but he just sat there. For someone who got angry so easily, he sure had a first-rate poker face.
"Are you willing to take Tousen down, even if it means putting him in prison?" he asked after a few minutes.
Kensei wanted to bring Tousen's crime to public attention?
"Kensei, what do you mean-"
"Answer the question."
Kensei's expression was set and hard. This was a Kensei I never met before and one I didn't like. I was almost temped to call the entire plan off. I was clearly getting myself into something dangerous. However, this was Kensei and I wanted nothing more than to be by his side. Even if it meant risking everything.
I took a deep breath and made sure Kensei could see the determination in my eyes. "I hope it doesn't come to that," I said. "But, I know Aizen will only use his wealth and power for his own use. I don't know what Tousen is planning, but if bringing his actions to light is the only way to stop Aizen, then I'm willing to do that." That was the truth. Tousen did so much for me and he became someone I cared about, but he betrayed me and himself. If I didn't stop him –if I didn't stop Aizen-, then his sense of justice would only corrode further and Aizen would keep hurting others.
Kensei didn't say anything. He just sat there, looking at my face. After a while he seemed to break out of his thoughts. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Get back to work," was the only thing he said. I wanted to talk to him more, to know what he was thinking. I opened my mouth to say more, but Kensei only stared with that same impassive gaze. Kensei wouldn't allow anything else to be said. I walked back out of the office and rearranged the hockey sticks.
I spent the rest of the work day sneaking glances at the office door and awaiting Kensei's next words. What if he cut me off completely? Was I too pushy? Did he associate me with Tousen now? How could I regain his trust?
I couldn't concentrate on work. Even Mashiro noticed that something was wrong and stayed out of my way.
I went home without giving or getting a goodbye. I went back to my small apartment and flopped down on my couch. There was no way I would be sleeping that night.
Did I make a mistake telling Kensei my past? Would he avoid me?
My heart clenched and for a moment I forgot how to breathe. I couldn't lose Kensei. If I did- oh god. I took a few breaths to calm myself down, but it didn't work. Life without Kensei was unimaginable. I just found him again and if I let him slip away so easily… I wouldn't allow it.
I didn't want to be without Kensei or his irritability, wide grins, and large hands that fixed everything around him.
xxx
I was determined to not let Kensei disappear, but that was easier said than done. It wasn't as if I could tie him up. I spent an agonizing and tedious day in my classes, knowing that I missed quite a few important notes in the lectures. Every minute I spent away from Kensei felt too long.
That afternoon I almost sent myself into coronary arrest while walking to work. I was driving myself to an early death with worry. I tried consoling myself, telling myself that Kensei just wouldn't up and leave without even a goodbye. However, that dream was shattered the moment I saw that the CLOSED sign on the shop door.
I had made a huge mistake telling Kensei about Tousen. He was gone.
Gone.
I was close to hyperventilating and the wall was my only support. I clenched my eyes shut and when I reopened them, I saw a figure blurred by my unshed tears rounding the corner.
My breath caught in my throat and my stomach uncurled. I was close to throwing myself into Kensei's arms and never letting go.
"Come with me, Shuuhei. Everyone has some explaining to do," Kensei ordered and in a relief-induced haze, I followed him without any hesitation. Kensei didn't abandon me. He didn't leave. I trailed behind his broad back like it was the North Star. I would follow him to the ends of the earth.
A/N: Well, there's chapter 1/?. ?, because I'm not sure whether I'm going to write more. I already know what I would write if I decide to, but it all depends on how I feel. I like the plot of this, but my writing isn't the best nowadays (sorry about the wacky verb tenses...). If I do write more, it's going to be one more chapter and any unanswered questions will be answered then.
This was actually going to be M, but it turned out to be relatively clean sex-wise. This was also going to be realistic, but I got a tiny bit impatient and decided to rush things...
Anyway, I hope you liked this!
