Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Summary: It's James Potter's final year at Hogwarts, and the Marauders intend to go out with a bang! What better way than to start a friendly prank war with a few fellow students? But when James crosses one student, will he finally meet his match?
One Good Prank Deserves Another
Chapter One
A New Year, a New War
It was their last ride to Hogwarts on the Hogwarts Express, and the Marauders were discussing just how they were going to make it memorable. It was, after all, their final year at school and their final chance to make Hogwarts history for decades to come. As the snack trolley came around the boys loaded up on food for thought and brainstormed how they were going to go out with a bang."
"We could always dangle Snape upside down in his knickers for a good laugh," Sirius Black suggested while eating a chocolate frog.
"No, we've done that before, remember 5th year?" James said, running his hand through his hair while trying to think of something. "It needs to be big, bigger than the Snowball War in 4th year, bigger than our Snape Vendetta in 5th, and much bigger than what we pulled on the Slytherins last year." Everyone grinned at the mention of that, remembering when all that the Slytherin 6th years could say for a whole week was "Gryffindors rule! Slytherins drool!" Of course, the teachers had known that the Marauders had done it (who else out of the 6th year Gryffindors?) and they had received two weeks worth of detentions, but it had been worth it.
"I've got to go to the Prefect's carriage, Prongs. I'll be back in a bit." Remus got up and opened the sliding door, carrying his robes and badge with him.
"I can't believe they let you stay a Prefect after all you've done, Moony," James said, grinning, "I mean, a Prefect who's a Marauder? You get more detentions than the rest of our year put together... not including us, of course."
"I wouldn't if you three would just stay out of trouble!" Remus shot back good naturedly at his three best friends. "I'll see you all later." He closed the door and walked towards the front of the train, various other students walking past as well, all with badges. A few shot the Marauders dirty looks: they created too much work for the Prefects for some of them not to be bad. If they looked too long James would just flash his Head Boy badge at them, and it startled them so much they kept walking without a word.
"Shouldn't you go, too, Prongs?" Peter asked, "You are Head Boy."
"I would... but I won't," James said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "If they want me, they'll come get me."
"What if we just wrap it all up into one big war, us against all comers? I'd say that's pretty big," Sirius said, looking at the card that came with his frog. "Ptolemy. Already have that one." He threw it on the seat, and Peter picked it up and pocketed it. He didn't have it.
"That's a pretty good idea, Padfoot," James said, an evil glint in his eyes. "A war to end all wars... we'll go down in history! The Marauders, the worst troublemakers Hogwarts has ever, and will ever see!" Sirius looked proud of himself, and Peter was rubbing his hands together like an evil genius, smiling maniacally. "The only question is, who will we prank first?"
The three of them sat for a few minutes in silence, thinking to themselves. Severus would be too normal; hardly a day passed when hexes didn't fly between him and the Marauders. The rest of the Slytherins didn't seem right either. So who would be on the receiving end of the first attack?
Suddenly, as if a Godsend, a girl rapped smartly on the door to their compartment. She was dressed in Gryffindor robes, and had a Head Girl badge flashing brightly on her chest. Her bright red hair was pulled back in a bun, and an infernal fire burnt in her bright green eyes. Oh, she looked angry. Lily Evans pulled open the door and unleashed a rage upon the boys within.
"James Potter, are you Head Boy or are you not? If you don't want the responsibility then give it to someone else. If you intend on actually coming to the Head Meeting, then I suggest you come right now! McGonagall is fuming."
The three Marauders looked at each other, their eyes wide. Comprehension downed on them. She was perfect. "I'll be right out, Lily dear. Unless you want to be a doll and help me change into my robes?" Lily made a sound that sounded like a mix between an angry cat and a dying hippogriff and slammed the door so hard that it jumped right out of its frame and opened again, causing all three boys to jump. With that she stalked away back to the Head Carriage.
"Boys, I think we've found our mark."
James sauntered up the aisles of the train like he owned it, passing the other compartments and playing the crowd. Girls swooned as he walked by, boys called out their greetings of "Hey, Potter! How was your summer hols?" He acknowledged them all like a professional entertainer. When he reached the Prefect Carriage he grinned at Remus as he passed, and Remus shot him a worried glance. After the Prefect was the Head Carriage and he opened the door and walked right in as if he wasn't over a half an hour late.
"Potter!" McGonagall fairly barked, "Where have you been? I hope that this show of tardiness is not a reflection of your future performance as the Head Boy of this school." She sighed, turning away and rubbing her temples, muttering under her breath, "Don't even know why Dumbledore chose in the first place... worst troublemaker in years... off his rocker..."
Lily looked quite proud of herself, and gloated while McGonagall went off on James. It took a good five minutes for the Transfiguration teacher to stop, and at that point she turned back to James and looked at him over the top of her glasses. "I trust that you've written your Transfiguration paper on animagi over the summer?" James grinned cockily and nodded. "Good, well, let's get down to business. You're a good student, Potter, one of the best in Transfiguration; I just wish that you were a bit more responsible at times..."
The Head Meeting went on, mainly a description of duties that seemed to enthrall Lily and bore James to death. It wasn't until McGonagall got to talking about the dances that would be held that year that James became interested.
"Professor Dumbledore has decided that we will hold two dances this year, a Fall Fling and a Spring Serenade."
"Would you care to go with me, Lily dear?" James asked, batting his eyelashes at her innocently.
"I'd rather take the giant squid, Potter," she replied hotly. James grinned and leaned back in his seat. There was nothing more satisfying than annoying Lily Evans. This year would definitely be one to remember.
"You two, along with a few Prefects of your choosing, will have the duty of decorating the Great Hall and getting the word out for the dances. I expect you two to cooperate fully with each other," she gave them both a sharp look, and Lily at least had the sense to look properly ashamed, "Or else there will be consequences. There will also be monthly meetings for you both to attend in the Headmaster's office." She looked up at a clock on the wall. "We will be arriving shortly. I suggest you get back to your seats for now."
James went back to his compartment. Remus had already gotten back; as soon as James had closed the door he played tried to plead with James better judgment. "Prongs, you can't seriously be thinking of pranking Lily Evans. She's Head Girl, for goodness sakes!"
"And I'm Head Boy. What's even better is that she can't take points away from Gryffindor in I'm a bad little boy, because that would be taking points away form herself! It's genius! It can't fail, Moony. Just trust me."
"That's what you said right before we were almost drowned in that girls' bathroom on the third floor," Remus pointed out warily. "I'm just saying, Prongs, Lily is cleverer than we give her credit for."
"That's what makes it so excited! A worthy opponent! Aren't you sick of Snape's half-assed pranks? I'm sure Evans will do a hell of a job trying to keep up with us. We just have to stay one step ahead of her."
The train lurched to a stop and students started filing out. The Marauders followed suit, James and Remus breaking off from the other two to help take the first years across the lake to Hogwarts. "Come on, first years over here! No, you're not going on the bloody carriages, you're going in the boats, come on!"
Remus elbowed James in the ribs. "There are teachers, Prongs, be a little... nicer." The scared eleven year old students followed the Prefects to the lake, and Lily helped them into the boats, being far more courteous towards them than James was. After a rather boring ride up to the castle (the first years seemed much more impressed with the castle than the others were), James, Lily, and the Prefects left the first years with Professor McGonagall and made their way into the Great Hall, sitting with their friends at their respective tables. James and Remus took seats across from Sirius and Peter, and the first years filed in. It was the start of another great year at Hogwarts.
That night in the Gryffindor 7th year boys' dormitories, sleepy from eating so much food, the Marauders plotted their first attack, which would take place the next morning.
"We have Potions first. Should we do it then?" Sirius asked, glancing at his schedule.
James shook his head. "No, no, no. That's Professor Slugborn. Evans is in the Slug Club, remember? If we do it there he might murder us."
"What about Charms?" Remus suggested, having finally given up trying to get the idea out of James' head and going along with the plan. "She's the star student. All eyes will be on her."
"Excellent idea, Moony! When do we have that?"
"After lunch," Peter said, looking over Sirius's shoulder at his schedule. Sirius shrugged him off.
"Ugh, Wormtail, you need a shower or something! You smell like old cheese!" Remus and James laughed, but Peter looked mortified. He was scared to death of being jeered at by James or Sirius, and he slunk out of the dorm to take a late night shower.
"Okay Marauders. We strike tomorrow in Charms! Get a good night's sleep, we'll probably need it to run away form Evans tomorrow.
"After what your planning, James, we'd need more than a good night's sleep to be able to escape tomorrow," Sirius said, a dirty grin on his face.
"Good point, Padfoot. Who has broomsticks?"
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That's the end of the first chapter! I'llupdate as soon as I can, but after the first few chapters it might be a bit of await with school starting up and all. Reviews, both friendly and flames, are always welcome. I hope you enjoyed it! Peace out!
-- Inwe Lothelen
