A/N: This funny little one-shot was sparked by a "Shipping Challenge" question I received on Tumblr: who - either Thranduil or Tauriel - would send inappropriate texts and SnapChats while the other is in a meeting?
I couldn't stop giggling as I pondered this scenario between these two, and this is the result that follows... :)
Important Note / Warning: This is very AU and a modern!Thrandiel piece! Also, any Elvish words used are translated at the bottom.
Disclaimer: The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are copyrighted to and belong to J. R. R. Tolkien. I'm just playing in his sandbox and receive no financial gain from this. Accompanying artwork is credited to Eleynah on DeviantArt.
Elfing Around
By CRMediaGal
"How long will you be gone?"
Thranduil gently turned his head, light blond hair sweeping across his shoulders and blue eyes twinkling with provocation. "How long would you like me to be gone?"
Tauriel kicked the Elven king's thigh from underneath the covers, where he sat on the edge and she comfortably spread in the middle. Her cheeks were radiating with more colour than usual, her mischievous smile a rather infectious sight to the smitten Elf peering down at her. It was enough to cause as serious an individual as King Thranduil to readily return the blushing Elleth's good humour.
Thranduil was reluctant to leave Tauriel to her own devices this morning. If he must meet with the Lady of Lórien, however, he would insist that his beloved at least enjoy a proper lie-in whilst he was gone. Following last night's 'engagements', it was only beneficial. Thranduil would have gladly remained in bed another few blissful hours with her were he not expected to act the part of sovereign for yet another gruelling day. One certainly did not keep Lady Galadriel waiting, either, particularly when the great Elleth was offering her services to a king in need.
The strong pull to remain with Tauriel was agonising, nonetheless, as Thranduil glided about the room, sending away his usual entourage in favour of dressing himself for the day, mainly so as to keep an eye on the lovely redheaded Elleth currently sharing his bed.
The couple had lost track sometime ago following the first few weeks of their courtship how often the Captain of the Guard spent her nights in the king's bed rather than her own. Neither of them had reason for discretion, though. They were an item and had been together since... Well, they had lost track of that, too.
As Thranduil moved away from the bed and back to inspect his ensemble in a full length mirror, Tauriel gingerly sat up, rumpled bed sheets pressed to her bosoms and her wavy, long hair cascading over her naked shoulders. She observed her king thoughtfully from afar as he adjusted his tie, eying her reflection in the mirror with what could only be described as a sexually frustrating smirk.
"Won't you have some coffee before you go?" she suggested, hoping she might entice him to remain a little while longer.
"I'll have to take some with me. I'm already running behind."
In the next instant, Tauriel had thrown back the sheets and sprung out of bed, tiptoeing up behind Thranduil to wrap her arms possessively around his waist. "Stay?" she implored ever so softly into his shoulder.
Thranduil turned around, snaked his fingers through hers, and brought his forehead to Tauriel's. "I wish I could..."
"You're the king." Her mouth morphed into a pout. "Can't you reschedule?"
"Reschedule a visit with the Lady of Lórien?" Thranduil chuckled and lightly nudged her nose. "You still have a great deal to learn, melda tári."
Tauriel's cheeks brightened still. "Not yet."
"Not yet," Thranduil concurred, smiling tenderly down at her; he leaned in to kiss her brow before his hands slipped out of hers. "Mauya nin avánië."
Tauriel crossed her arms with dismay as she sauntered back over to the bed and slid beneath the covers, propping several plush pillows behind her back. She understood this meeting between her king and Lady Galadriel was of the utmost importance. The royal queen had offered Thranduil aid in revitalising Mirkwood's great woodlands, much of which had been destroyed during the War of the Ring.
This morning she felt particularly inconvenienced by the disruption to their private time, however. Some days they were both too engaged in their duties to see one another for the entire day, which made their late nights together all the more precious. The king had been forced to rush off earlier than usual today, and Tauriel was feeling the bitter sting of being forced into second, third, perhaps even fourth priority on the sovereign's list. Her rational side told her that that wasn't true, of course, but the unreasonable part of her was much grumpier and louder at present.
After several minutes of harping on her own misgivings, Tauriel snatched her cell phone up from the bedpost and fired off a text to the king, pleasantly surprised to receive one back almost instantly.
"I miss you."
"My poor Elleth. I've been gone but five minutes. Shall I send for company in my stead?"
"You're a jerk. Don't you miss me, too?"
"You know I do. Are you having your coffee?"
"No. I haven't dressed yet. I'm back in bed and awaiting your return."
"I shall be enjoying that visual of your gorgeous, naked self laying in my bed for the remainder of my sordid day."
"Why imagine?"
A malicious smirk tore across Tauriel's face. She shoved the blankets down to her waist, exposing her breasts and pert nipples for her phone's camera, and snapped a picture. She sent it off to Thranduil right away, giggling at the eager response that zoomed back to her within seconds.
"Are you trying to kill me?"
Tauriel laughed out loud as she answered, "No. Just enticing you to get your fabulous arse back here."
"I'm about to have a meeting with Lady Galadriel and now I haven't a clue how I shall look her in the eyes."
"Oh, rubbish. It can't be that hard."
"With the visual of your breasts fresh in my head," he fired back, "you give it a try sometime!"
"Goheno nin."
"No, you're not."
Tauriel snickered and bit her lower lip. "You're right, I'm not. Did you get your coffee?"
"I did. I'll have you know that I burnt my tongue."
"Oh, dear!"
"Well, your text caught me unprepared."
"Someone's got to keep you on your toes. I'll have you make better use of that tongue later on. Not to worry."
"...You really are trying to kill me. And I haven't had breakfast yet."
"Poor you. You're free to join me here whenever you're through. I'll ward off eating by playing with myself until your return."
"Cheeky Elleth! That's my duty!"
Tauriel could practically hear Thranduil's jealousy through his typed message and laughed to herself. "Yes, it is, hîr vuin. Come relieve me, would you?"
Thranduil's response was to curse, followed by a resigned, "Lady Galadriel's here. Alas, mauya nin avánië."
A few minutes later, Tauriel sent along another tantalising photograph that included a fetching view of her front and sex. She was sure that would get Thranduil's heart thumping...amongst other enticements. The text he returned sounded both desperate and acute.
"Á pusta!"
"You really want me to stop?" she responded, issuing a dirty grin for herself alone to savour.
"I nearly choked whilst trying to relay my gratitude to Lady Galadriel just now!"
"Oh, dear me. That's unfortunate."
"Are you determined to make me look like a fool?"
"No. I just want you here."
"You need to exercise some restraint, my impatient Elleth!"
"Yes, restraints! That's what I need!"
"I'm going to shut down my phone in a moment. I have an example to set and you're ruining it."
"No, you won't, hîr vuin, and I'm only testing you. It's good for a king to be tested every once in a while, no?"
"Not by you it isn't! I wouldn't recommend it."
"Pity. And here, I was just getting started."
A short pause later and Tauriel's phone alerted with another sheepish message. "What's next?"
Tauriel grinned from pointed ear to pointed ear. "My legs are spread wide as you slide two fingers inside me, stretching and stroking me and leaving my head spinning out of control. I beg for more. I'm so wet and aroused and so desperate to come."
Tauriel had started on the next portion of her sexy text when Thranduil suddenly sent one flying back at her. "Merciful graces of the Valar, Tauriel!"
"I return the favour by taking you in my hand, rubbing and stroking you and finally taking the whole of you into my mouth. My mouth is warm and snug as it caresses you."
"Tauriel, please!"
Tauriel halted the start of her next text to ask, "Shall I stop?"
"Of course you should! Lady Galadriel's here! But... Oh, merciful Valar, I don't want you to stop!"
Tauriel's impish grin widened. "Then I won't."
"Are you sure you're all right, hîr vuin?"
"Yes, of course," Thranduil stammered, cheeks alight like the coming of autumn as he hid his phone underneath the table, out of sight.
The entire ensemble gathered in the Conference Room of King Thranduil's underground kingdom, including the lovely Lady Galadriel herself, three of her diplomats, and another three of his own, were staring at the blushing Elven king, wide-eyed and at a loss for words. His kin looked concerned for his welfare, but Lady Galadriel's people eyed him with suspicion.
That was the third time in the span of fifteen minutes that he had been forced to turn away and let out a series of coughs that brought all conversation to an awkward standstill. Elves didn't cough, so the sound was completely unnatural; but how else was Thranduil to conceal his arousal?
Internally, the king thanked the protection of the Valar for the convenience of the large wooden table before him, which conveniently hid the growing bunch in his trousers. He shifted in his chair, desperate to reel in his repeated reactions to Tauriel's naughty texts. No one had ever managed to have such an affect on him before; the fiery Elleth's instigations were most definitely becoming a problem.
"Shall we move on?" Lady Galadriel gently urged of their company, and King Thranduil nodded, perhaps a tad too enthusiastically.
The heavy scrutiny he fell under as talks resumed was enough to make him wish himself rid of this friendly gathering, if only to spare himself any further humiliation. There were no secrets to be kept from the powerful Lady of Lórien; her Elleth eyes saw all, including Thranduil and Tauriel's discreet, roughish endeavours via silent text messaging.
Do you love her? came the sudden, smooth voice of Lady Galadriel in Thranduil's mind.
To another Middle-Earth species, such an invasion into one's head would have proved disturbing, but, for the Elves, it was as natural an exchange as any spoken communication, and, so, Thranduil displayed no reaction. He acknowledged her question with a slight bow of his head.
Yes, he answered her simply, sharp eyes locking on the much wiser, much older royal seated across from him.
Lady Galadriel smiled in a manner that was all-knowing, even a touch wicked, unless he was mistaken. I have foreseen it.
Melda heri. Thranduil offered another polite nod, awaiting further explanation.
You are well matched, melda tár, though, I fear, she has much to learn.
Indeed she does, and I, from her.
She will make a fine queen of Mirkwood one day.
I believe so.
Whilst I can appreciate the playfulness you two share, I'm afraid now is not the time for such frivolity, King Thranduil. The matter of reviving your realm is at hand. Your Elleth will have to exercise patience until our discussions here have concluded.
Thranduil shrunk further into the back of his chair, though too marginally for anyone to take notice. At this rate, he was sure he would be red in the face for a month, if not considerably longer. Mortification didn't scratch the surface in describing the king's present state. He turned off his phone, a blank expression firmly in place.
I quite agree, Lady Galadriel. My sincerest apologies. You are most worthy of my attention, and neither of us meant you any disrespect in this regard.
Lady Galadriel's smile lengthened. Her steady gaze turned from Thranduil to the Elf speaking to her left, and nothing more was mentioned on the matter.
Tauriel gave up trying to reach her king. Discussions must have gotten intense for Thranduil to be so distracted as to cease texting her, so Tauriel tossed her phone aside and rested her eyes. She had meant to merely close them for a moment or two before finally getting up and starting her day, but, the next thing she knew, it was nearly noon, and a warm body was pressed over top of her, stirring her from sleep.
"I received a reprimanding from Lady Galadriel," growled a familiar, rich voice close to her face.
Tauriel purposely kept her eyes shut but allowed a smile to creep across her lips. "Did you? My, my. You've been naughty, haven't you?"
"Me, naughty?" He added, lowering his voice another octave, "If I am, it's entirely your doing."
"Guilty." Tauriel opened her eyes and found herself greeted by a pair of fierce blue, their depths greedy and hungry as they bore into hers; she lazily stretched and wrapped her arms loosely around Thranduil's neck. "How did she punish you?"
"By speaking down to me like that of a prince rather than a capable, long-standing king."
Tauriel pushed out her lower lip and stifled a laugh. "Oh, my poor, poor king..."
"You'd better make it up to me," he threatened in a hushed whisper, inching closer until the tips of their noses were touching.
"Oh, very well, I shall. I told you I'd wait for you, after all."
"Yes," Thranduil murmured, this time considerately, one hand reaching down to grace her outer thigh, "and I'm immensely grateful you did..."
Then the Elven king leaned in to passionately kiss his future queen, and she reciprocated with equal fervour, content to finally have him all to herself again. How he had managed to get away from his duties briefly passed over her mind, but Tauriel quickly disregarded the thought. She had lured him back to bed at last and, there, she would prevent his leave for as long as their bodies would put out.
Elvish translations:
melda tári = beloved queen
mauya nin avánië = I must go
Goheno nin = Forgive me/I'm sorry
hîr vuin = my lord
Á pusta! = Stop!
Melda heri = beloved lady
melda tár = beloved king
A/N #2: Thank you for reading. Reviews are greatly appreciated.
