SOMEWHERE

To have those words said out loud

Instead of in a whisper

To have the world know the truth,

That you never intend to hurt me

Forgive me for I've spoke to soon

And the inevitable has happened

The truth has changed

My life a lie,

the life I shared with you

Now I'm weeping in a corner,

Trying to shield myself from those hate filled words

You say I'm weak and always was, and never deserved you.

I stop my sobs and look in your eyes

The truth held within them.

But I can't see it,

Has it died,

The love you once had for me.

Then I realize it,

My biggest fear,

For you never really loved me.

I can't take the pain not from you.

So now with wanting to hurt you.

I do it the only way I know how.

The child growing living with in me.

Your only heir.

I get up to leave,

You wonder what I'm doing.

I give you no answer,

Not even a glance.

You pull me back by the arm,

Turning me to look at you.

You ask again where I'm going.

Then I say it,

"To rid myself of your child"

Your confused and don't understand

Until I say "abortion".

Your face falls but not for long

That smirk

That smirk that cause me to love you

But at the same hate you.

You say I lie and would never do a thing like that.

How right you are,

But I never let you know that.

Your grip on my arm is released

With a turn on my heals I left you.

Never to come back.

I heard you left to train,

Far off in the mountains,

Alone.

I ask if your still alive

But they won't say.

I take it as a no.

They tell me to forget you

But I can't .

I wonder, wonder what we could of had

What kind of life,

For you, me,

And your son.

Then I see it

That smirk

Except it's not you wearing it,

It's our son.

He looks like you,

With the exception of my fathers hair.

He said something to me the other day

"Why can't daddy live with us"

I ask him what he's talking about

He says

"Daddy says he doesn't live with us because you don't want him to"

I tell him he's confused and doesn't have a father.

He shakes his head and says I'm the one who's confused

Then he leaves the room.

A tear streams down my cheek

Knowing he speaks the truth.

Then I smile,

I have no reason to cry,

I never lost you.

Your still here,

..somewhere..