All characters belong to Janet Evanovich (not that she treats them right). This is my first story so constructive criticism is welcome, just being a butt-head is not. Thanks for reading :)
My name is Stephanie Plum and I was sitting in my cubicle at Rangeman bored as hell while doing Rodriguez's searches, as I sit here I realize that I have still yet to meet him and that needs to change. Leaving the search running I went to put my plan into action. I walked up behind Lester and grabbed his arm, pulling him behind me. We made it to Hector's office and we both sat down.
"Okay guys, I have a plan to meet Rodriguez and I need your help."
Hector and Lester looked at each other and nodded. Lester asked "What can we do to help?"
I took out my note pad and read it, "We need a traq dart gun, darts, and a camera."
Hector smiled at me, "Chica, I can get all that for you and we can put it in to effect right after lunch."
Lester and I left Hector's office and walked to my cubicle. I went to my cubicle and waited impatiently. This will be really good. We could traq Rodriguez and pull him into Ranger's office since Ranger was in Miami. I gleefully rubbed my hands together in anticipation.
Two Hours Later
Hector, Lester, and I were in Ranger's office waiting for Rodriguez to walk by. We saw someone's legs so Hector shot him with a traq dart and we all pulled him into the office, it wasn't Rodriguez. We looked at Cal as he lay sleeping on the floor. I took the camera out and took a picture as he sucked his thumb. We all smiled and waited for our next victim, I mean co-worker.
An Hour Later
We now had Cal, Binkie, Ram, Manny, and Hal on the floor of Ranger's office. All of them were sleeping in various positions and cuddling (yes, cuddling) so I was taking lots and lots of blackmail material, I mean pictures. They were all out cold and should be for a while still since we gave them all another dose of traq dart to keep them from complaining so at two hours unconscious per dart, we were set.
"I see another set of legs," Hector said.
Lester shot the leg and we went to see who we had. We all stood looking down at the unconscious man on the floor and I ran screaming for Tank.
"OH MY GOD TANK! Hide me or he'll send to to Antarctica."
I climbed up Tank's back and wrapped my arms and legs around him.
"Bomber, calm down, what happened?"
"We traq'ed Ranger and he's going to send me to Antarctica."
I rode Tank's back over to Ranger's office and while he shook from laughter. "Little girl, you did good this time." Tank picked Ranger up and carried us both to the elevator and took it up to seven after telling Lester to get Bobby. Tank placed Ranger on his bed right before Bobby entered the bedroom.
Bobby looked at Ranger on the bed and me on Tank's back and sighed, "What did you do Bomber?"
I clutched even harder at Tank, "I didn't know it was Ranger, I thought it was Rodriguez. OMG Bobby, Batman's going to either kill me or send me to Antarctica." I held Tank harder as he shook from laughter, "It's not funny, Tank. Batman's going to pack me in a shipping crate with nothing but a parka and a toothpick and send me to Antarctica. What will happen to Rex? I'll be a giant Stephanie popsicle."
At this point Bobby was rolling on the floor laughing with tears running down his cheeks. Tank looked at him, "Anything you can do for boss man or for the rest of the guys knocked out in his office?"
Bobby stopped laughing long enough to answer, "Nope, they will just have to come around on their own. Should we put the culprits in holding cells?"
Tank sighed, "Yeah, we better to keep the guys from killing them. Put all of them in one cell."
Bobby removed me from Tank's back and headed to the elevator, "Come on Bombshell. It won't be so bad." He pulled out his phone and told Lester and Hector to meet him in the basement.
When we arrived at the holding cells Lester, Hector, and I were locked up in cell 3 with Woody guarding the door. We had no cell phones, guns, knives, lock pick kits, etc with us. So we all sat and waited. After about ten minutes, I got bored (naturally), "I'm bored. We need something to do."
Lester leered at me, "Beautiful, I know how we can pass the time."
Hector smacked him on the back of his head, "Bonita, we teach you Spanish, si?"
I smiled, "Si Hector. That sounds wonderful." So Hector and Lester started teaching me Spanish, beginning with curse words, naturally.
Two Hours Later
We all jumped up cause we heard yelling, as it became louder we knew it was Ranger yelling at Tank. "What the hell were you thinking putting my babe in a holding cell?"
Tank sounded stressed, "Man, calm down. She was freaking out. She thinks you're going to send her to Antarctica. Plus, we didn't know how the guys were going to react when they woke up." We heard a fist hit flesh and I backed up into the far corner of the holding cell. Lester and Hector backed up in front of me, all of us nervous as hell. What was Ranger going to do?
"Woody, open the cell now." We heard the cell open and Ranger walked in looking livid. We all backed up a little more with me at the back of our little group. Tank came rushing in holding a hankie to his obviously bloody nose, "Man, she's alright. Calm down."
Ranger walked to the table bolted to the floor in the center of the holding cell, "All of you report to your duties immediately." We all started running for the door after seeing Tank and Woody run. Lester and Hector made it out but
Ranger grabbed me as I tried to run past. "Going somewhere babe?"
I looked up at him, "Um no? Lester, Hector, I'll send you guys a post card." I looked at Ranger and there were emotions running across his face. I was stunned as I had rarely seen him drop his blank face. "Um welcome home Ranger. How was Miami?"
His face went blank, "How was Miami? Is that all you have to say?" I sat in the chair as he started pacing, running his hands in his hair while muttering in Spanish.
Stunned, I looked at him, "Ranger, are you alright? Did something happen in Miami? Oh my God, is it Julie? Did something happen to her?" I started panicking.
Ranger stopped and looked at me, "Calm down babe. Julie's fine. Miami was fine. I want to know where your going that you will be sending a post card to Lester and Hector. Are you and Morelli eloping or something? Is that why you tranq'ed me?"
I started laughed but at the look on Ranger's face stopped quickly, "Morelli and I broke up from good two months ago when I caught him on his dining room table with Terry Gilman playing hide the salami. The postcard will be from Antarctica after you send me there for tranq'ing you. We didn't mean to get you. We were trying to get Rodriguez, the sneaky bastard. I bet he put more searches in my basket while I've been down here with his super secret ninja Jedi skills." I looked at Ranger's face and he was clearly stunned.
"Super secret ninja Jedi skills, babe? Antarctica? You and Morelli are done for good?"
"Yeah, super secret ninja Jedi skills. I never see him drop them in my basket, they just appear so clearly he must be a ninja and a Jedi. You should really test your men for Jedi skills. Aren't you going to ship me to Antarctica for this? Yeah, we're done. I wouldn't touch Morelli's cheating ass with a ten meter cattle prod." Ranger smiled at all of this.
"Babe, Rodriguez isn't a ninja or a Jedi. He sends the search requests with who ever is walking near your cube. He rarely drops them off himself. I'm not testing the men to see if they are Jedi. I'm not mad and I'm not shipping you anywhere. I'll make a deal with you so that you can meet Rodriguez, if you're interested?"
I thought for a moment, "That sneaky bastard, I'm going to get him. Thanks Batman, I wasn't looking forward to Antarctica. What kind of deal cause if it's like the last one than I'll pass? There's no Morelli to send me back to this time."
Ranger looked contrite, "I'm sorry for the DeChooch deal babe. I should have never sent to you back to the cop. I won't do that again. If you want today can be someday, we can fly to Las Vegas right now and get married. I'll introduce you to Rodriguez after wards."
"Are you serious? You want to get married today to me? Seriously? Please be serious cause I love you so much it hurts, Carlos, I'm in love with you and I couldn't survive it if you broke my heart again."
Ranger caught me up in his arms and kissed me hard, "I'll never break you heart again babe. I love you so much. You are my heart and my soul. The light in my world and the breath in my lungs. Stephanie, will you please marry me today?"
I clung to him, "Yes Carlos. I love you so much, let's go get married."
He kissed me hard and let me go, "Go home and back enough for a few days."
I ran from the cell as he pulled his cell phone out. I got in my car and raced home. When I arrived home I actually got a parking spot up front, must be parking karma from Batman kisses. I was too excited for the elevator so I ran up the stairs and started panting at the top of them. I packed quickly and ended up with four suitcases and of course Rex. I stopped the elevator and hauled everything to it, I was unloading it when my phone rang. I dropped the last bag and answered, "Hello"
"Stephanie Michelle Plum, I just received a call from Mrs. Slotnivik across the hall from you and she said that you brought that rodent and four suitcases to the elevator. Where are you going? Are you finally doing the right thing and move in with Joseph so that you can marry him?"
"Mom, Mrs. Slotnivik needs to mind her own business and Rex is a hamster, not a rodent. I dumped Morelli months ago and I'm not getting back with him. I'm flying to Las Vegas with Ranger to become Mrs. Ricardo Carlos Manoso."
"Young lady, you will no such thing. What would Joseph and Angie Morelli think?"
"I don't care what they think and neither should you. I am marrying Carlos and there is nothing anyone can do about it." With that I closed my phone and prayed that Ella knew how to make Pineapple Upside Down Cake. I loaded everything in my car than picked up Rex and explained what was going on. We arrived at Rangeman to see three black SUVs being loaded with luggage. Cal came and took my luggage to load while Hal took Rex to the control room. Ranger walked over to me and kissed me gently.
"You alright, Babe?"
"My mother called and of course was only worried about Morelli. I hung up on her. Can Ella make Pineapple Upside Down cake?"
"I'm sure she can. Don't worry, your mother will come around. Let's head out. We are taking Tank, Lula, Lester, Bobby, and Hector with us."
I hugged him tight, "Let's go. I can't wait to become Mrs. Ricardo Carlos Manoso."
"Babe" Ranger said as he swept me off my feet and ran to an SUV. Within an hour we were in the air on the Rangeman private jet, Ranger and I ditched the guys and Lula to join the mile high club in the bedroom and let me tell you it was freaking awesome. When we got to Las Vegas, there were three black SUVs waiting for us so we loaded up and headed to Trump's hotel. I was gawking out the window the whole time and gawked all the way to our room. Our luggage was unloaded into the room and I turned to look at my soon to be husband.
"Babe, why don't you get cleaned up and change. I had a dress delivered for you, it's on the bed. I'm going to go get ready in Lester and Bobby's room. Than we'll go to the chapel."
Ranger kissed me deep and hard than disappeared. When I went into the bedroom, I saw the most beautiful simple ivory sheath on the bed with matching three inch heels. I quickly set about getting ready and was thanking God that my hair cooperated for once. By the time Carlos came back in his tux, I was ready although not for the guys and Lula to be staring at me. Lula was the first to break the silence, "Damn, white girl, you clean up good for Batman." I just laughed and hugged her. When our wedding party got to the lobby, we were told that our stretch hummer was waiting. I just looked at Ranger. After we were all in the hummer with me sitting right next to Ranger with our legs pressed together, we headed to our wedding which was like nothing I had ever imagined.
The stretch hummer pulled up outside the Venetian hotel and we were swept into the plans that Carlos had made before we left. Next thing I knew we were in front of a waterfall with our closest friends saying our vows in front of a video camera. It was simple but I have to say it was the best wedding ever. I was so happy that a prank had ended with me becoming Mrs. Ricardo Carlos Manoso. After the ceremony, we had a wonderful dinner to include a two tiered Pineapple Upside Down Wedding Cake that even my new husband had a piece of. After dinner, we returned to our hotel for the evening where my husband showed me exactly how much I meant to him and guaranteed that I would hardly be able to walk the next day.
Epilogue
The next morning we checked out our hotel and returned to Trenton since we hadn't made plans to be gone for long. On the flight back it was decided that we would go on a honeymoon in a few months. As soon as we got back to Rangeman, I was introduced to Rodriguez and I promptly stunned him than walked away smiling. Two months after our wedding I found out that I was pregnant. Four months after our wedding, we went to Jamaica for a month for our long awaited honeymoon. During my pregnancy I ate healthy which drove me nuts but I also drove the guys nuts for fun. Our twins, Ricardo Carlos Jr and Rosa Michelle, were born exactly nine months after our wedding and we couldn't have been happier.
End.
