One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
"Thank you for coming." She had lovingly breathed into his ear, giving him a side hug. He looked older, wiser, ruggedly handsome, yet tired.
"Of course." was his response spoken in a perfunctory fashion. When he continued about her wanting to go to the crime scene, it left her little time to analyse his demeanour further.
She was hoping they would have eked out some time before the team came in but Hotch had walked in last, making him last on her list of hugs. He had smiled so lovingly while she exchanged greetings with the others yet he had shielded his smile when she got closer.
The depressing nature of this case had led her to ask for his assistance. She was torn between the need to bring an end to her nightmares and the need to keep him at a distance.
In the midst of those doubts was Mark...the 'mark' or point which seemed to have caused him to lose interest in her and by the way her heart was beating, it seemed she had mistakenly thought that she had lost interest in him.
The more than six hours spent together after JJ had been kidnapped was wonderful, yet, one night was not enough to hold them over the months apart and they had chosen to see other people who were closer in proximity but definitely not more important in value. Mark was a replacement and looking at Hotch now Emily understood why people preferred the real thing.
When she had called him regarding the case, he had given her every reason why the team was not needed and it was her admittance 'Hotch, I need your help' which led him to surrender to his own need to see her. She could not hide the look of shock and relief when he had acquiesced to her pleas.
She was uncertain around the Aaron she had come to know and the Unit Chief that he had to be but she was so grateful for him taking this case that she pushed those thoughts aside and pressed on with the issue at hand.
On the drive to the crime scene with JJ and Rossi, she thought about his apparent dismissal of her. They used to go to crime scenes together, in matching attire, a point that she wished she had realized sooner. She had once read that unplanned synchronization spoke well for relationship heaven.
Yet, he had stayed at the precinct with Reid and Tara denying them quiet time together once more. When Rossi and JJ teased her about Mark, she slowly understood why. Penelope had a way with embellishment and Emily was certain Mark had been described as a chocolate God, with sprinkles on top, in front of Hotch. He probably would not admit it but his reservation to take this case was tied to his feeling that she had moved on.
When they were all at the precinct, if she walked into the room or brought them coffee, he was focused on his phone or scouring files, searching for the unsub and she felt alone as if she had lost him, forever this time.
When she took a bathroom break to clear her mind of these dissuading thoughts, she was surprised to find him waiting outside. A bold move on his part as she was sure he had received some peculiar stares and glares from exiting female police officers.
'How are you holding up?' He asked, seeing through her facade, piercing her true thoughts.
'Not so good.' She admitted with a deep sigh.
'Nightmares still?' He asked as they fell into a slow pace back to the conference room.
'A few.'
Her quick response told him that she had fabricated her answer and he felt the need to let her know that he was still there for her.
Holding unto her elbow, he stopped her in mid stride.
'Em, I'm still here for you. You have to know that.'
'I know.' She said forlornly. 'A friend who sticks closer than a brother, right?'
His gaze searched her eyes for a sign that she understood what he was saying and for that brief moment, she allowed her eyes to confide her need for him but he looked away too soon and sensing defeat, he had straightened his tie and nodded in agreement.
'Yes, a friend.' He said and his continuous nodding told her, he was trying to convince himself as well.
They were in the middle of desks and bustling officers, prisoners and suspects, phones ringing and cellulars buzzing, making it extremely difficult to have this type of conversation.
The few officers that did look at them seemed to not notice the tension in their stance. From all appearances they looked like your regular, run of the mill FBI agents, always intense and brooding.
'I really want to say thanks for taking the case. Can we go outside for a short walk?'
'Sure, maybe we can find a donut shop' He joked, lightening the mood.
As they turned to the exit, JJ popped her head out of the conference room calling their names. Realising she got their attention, she moved just as quickly back into the room.
When they both said 'duty calls' at the same time, genuine, unguarded smiles played on their lips.
They walked back into the room at ease, knowing the importance of the case took precedence over whatever was re-burgeoning between them.
