This is a songfic that shows what might have been going through edward's mind after the birthday incident. the song is Imperfection by Skillet...i know, i have an absurd addiction to Skillet.
Disclaimer: i don't own twilight -breaks into dramatic sobs-
Imperfection By: Skillet
Bella is my angel, my world, my meaning to life. I wouldn't be able to live without her. Those warm and inviting, deep, never-ending, chocolate brown eyes. Her brown hair that smelled so lovely. Her small frame that fit so perfectly in my arms and her full lips and gorgeous face plagued me where ever I went. Sometimes I wonder, am I good enough for her?
You're worth so much
It'll never be enough
To see what you have to give
How beautiful you are
Yet seem so far from everything
You're wanting to be
You're wanting to be
Bella's always telling me, that she's the lucky one, but she has no idea what she is to me. I used to be void, of every feeling, of everyone. I never cared, but then she entered my life. A meteor shot across my bland and dark sky. The black hole that was once my life, disappeared, and was smothered by her love. Sometimes, I think she is too good for me.
Tears falling down again
Tears falling down
You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you're drowning
In your imperfection
Every bad thing that has happened to her recently was my fault. All my flaws, led her to nearly being killed. She means so much to me, and in my jealousy, I needed to keep her. My greed caused her to be hurt every time I was near her. Maybe I should leave, maybe, if I was gone, she could have a normal human life...just maybe.
You mean so much
That heaven would touch
The face of humankind for you
How special you are
Revel in your day
You're fearfully and wonderfully made
You're wonderfully made
Sometimes, I fear that I have left too much meaning in her life. If only I had decided to stay away from her after that van incident. I should never have interfered. She's too dear to me now, and I don't know if I could ever live without her.
You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you're drowning
In your imperfection
I was so swallowed up in my thoughts, that I didn't realize something until it was too late. I was a burden to her life, and I would have to leave. There was no way I was going to risk her life any further. I had to keep her safe, and let her have a normal life, no matter what it takes.
You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
in every hour, you're drowning
In your imperfection
My heart ached, I didn't want to do this to her. It would break her heart, but it was the best thing. We would have to leave. I fell to my knees as I saw the sun setting. The colors intertwined perfectly with each other, creating an array of beauty that would soon be broken by darkness. My dead heart heaved, as I realized that this is how I was with Bella. I was the darkness that was swallowing her beauty. I got up to leave; to leave my Bella, to leave my world, to leave my sun, my life behind. To leave what was left of Edward Cullen behind, with my Bella.
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
Drowning in imperfection
A/N: well, i hope that didn't suck. please review :D
