Prologue
My hand seemed to weigh at least a tonne and I cringed as I looked at it.
Why oh why?
How is it that I manage to dig myself into the most uncomfortable of holes?
Awkward situations seem to be my thing I've noticed.
What's more awkward than sitting on the floor in my dorm between my bed and my drawers gawking at the way my hand sticks out and how the thing attached to it is so damn bright I'm temporarily blinded.
Sure, I should be happy and in a way, I am.
But that doesn't mean I want to go ahead and run head first into something that I could just be doing because I feel like I have to.
I shake my head again; I never did do things half-arsed did I?
Well, I can't blame myself here, Scorpius is part of this too, he's actually the reason why I'm all but curling up and dying in the tiny gap between my bed and my drawers.
Yes, one up on me, it's his fault.
Now all I have to do is stand up, brush myself off, walk out and say "Hey! It's your fault, not mine! It's your fault why I've been sitting in here for the past forty-five minutes!"
Forty-five minutes? Oh merlin! I am dramatic.
Because it wasn't his fault, I didn't have to wallow around in my depression in here; I could go and do it elsewhere.
I could go into the bathrooms but I know both Harley and Jackie are in there; my thoughts are so loud they'd definitely know there was something up.
Why Harley insisted that Jackie go with her to the toilet I'll never know.
How convenient that they both left…
Back to my wallowing.
I shouldn't wallow.
I should just go out and tell him.
Apart from the fact that it's about two in the morning and I can't just barge into the Slytherin boys dorm anymore… well I can but I shouldn't, the things I have gotten away with in there are bad and I know for a fact, yes, a fact, that those sort of things lead to babies. Hence I have one.
The guilt is eating at me like a Nargle to somebody's ear. Nobody told me I'd feel like this; feel so bad for not wanting to do something.
And I think back to how I came to be stuck in this awkward situation.
It all started approximately two and a half months ago.
"Well I better take him home now, he's sleepy and we've almost run out of bottles, we'll see you next weekend aye?" Mum said while packing Caelum's stuff back into his bag.
We were sitting in the Hogshead, Scorpius had his arm around me and was looking at our tiny blonde son tucked up in my arms and I didn't want it to end. It was going to be another full week until we saw Caelum Albus Malfoy, it was going to be another full week until I saw his small features complete with his father's hair, nose and mouth, but his eyes, I was proud to say, were the same shape as mine. It was an ongoing battle to see what colour they were. Dad wanted them to be blue like his. "Just a few more minutes," I said.
I kissed Cae lightly on the cheek and looked at Scorp. "It's only been twenty-eight days since we've been at school and we get to see him every fucking weekend but every time it sucks to leave him." He said.
We said our goodbyes and Scorpius kept on chasing after mum and dad while they were walking down the street and kissing Caelum in the end mum and dad finally disapparated and the git just stood there staring at the place where they had left. "Come on Scorpius, we better get back to school now."
He sighed. "Bloody sucks…don't want to be here… just want to go home."
And I snorted. "I do too, but we have to finish school. I don't think he'd be proud of us if we didn't, I can imagine it now, "My mum and dad were circus clowns!" you don't want that do you?" I teased.
He shook his head and smiled at me. "You'd become a circus clown if we had to slum it?"
I shrugged. "Either that or a magician… actually, at least all I'd have to do is magic tricks, I don't really know how to ride those one-wheeled bike thingys."
"He slept most of the time he was with me; all my dad would do is sit there and stare at him. Creeper," Scorpius said with a smile. "I wonder if he still does it when your parents send him to mine, mum still complains that the weekends aren't enough for her considering your parents have him for five days out of the bloody week." And he winked.
I tiptoed to kiss his cheek as we walked, I didn't like the random change of subject but I ran with it. "Yeah, my dad's a creeper too, he'll randomly come into my room and snatch him," I said. "But I've got nothing to do with the sleeping arrangements. I don't want to have to imagine my dad without Cae, he'd die."
I link my arm with Scorpius' and we set of on our way back to school, I noticed he was quiet. And I know Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy well; if he's quiet, there's something wrong. "What's up?" I asked him.
He put a hand in his pockets. "Nothing, nothing, just bloody, I don't know. Nothing," he said.
A smile played on my lips. "Nervous about something?" I asked.
One thing we always used against each other was nerves. "Hah, fat chance," he said.
Scorpius fidgeted next to me some more and I started to get suspicious. "What is wrong with you?" I asked him.
He looked at his feet and then back to me. "You'd marry me right?"
I laughed. "Why?"
Oh god, the kid was going to propose. "Just curious."
I wasn't ready for this type of conversation; I had just had a baby three months before, I had just got back to school, I was in no way shape or form ready for it.
"If the time was right and we were good then yes, I would marry you."
He smiled at me and kissed my head. "Is this a good time?" he asked me with a crooked grin.
I sighed. "Scorp…" I started. It was the grin that prevented me from outright saying no, the grin was the thing that prevented me from doing a lot of things, that grin prevented me from forgetting to now use protection.
God bless the grin.
His smile didn't falter. "Come on Rose, I'm rich, I'm charming—Charismatic if you will—I'm not too hard on the eye, who wouldn't want to marry me?"
I give him a small smile back, he was all those things, a right git most of the time, but I couldn't marry him, not this young. "You know I love you right?" I say quietly.
His eyes faltered and that was it, the end. "I'm not asking you to chuck on your lightest coloured dress and a pair of heels and met down at that church a couple metres down the road Rose, it's just for future reference"
I shook my head. "Why'd you ask me now, why don't you just wait until after we graduate?" there, it wasn't saying no, it wasn't saying yes, it was just asking for it to be put on hold, just like you'd do with clothing.
He took a deep, annoyed breath. "What if you don't want to marry me then? What if you're happy in our little bubbled wrapped world?" this guy was crazy. Who would deny him? I'd love to marry him, but I just couldn't. Not this young. We still had things to do and I didn't want to use our marriage as an excuse to stay together if he wanted to leave.
And I was happy in our little bubble wrapped world. "What's so wrong with that?"
"The fact that you might never actually be mine?"
I rolled my eyes. "That's the worst reason I've ever heard" I snapped at him.
"What if I got you a ring?" he said and he smirked.
I rolled my eyes, "Then I'd consider it"
At eight o'clock that night he came rushing through the Gryffindor common room clutching something. "Here!," he said and he shoved a white envelope in my direction. "Don't open it until before we leave for Christmas holidays and you're alone, I have to go, fucking Zabini will kill me if I'm late for my rounds, git, I wanted to be head boy!" he said while brushing his lips with mine as fast as he ran in there and then darting out of the room.
I stared at the envelope but I didn't open it. Not until today.
And now it's that fateful day in December, I'm sitting here doing as he said and looking at the pretty and simple band of white gold that I found in said envelope. But it wasn't that that shocks me.
It's the piece of rocket stuck on top of it.
The solitaire diamond is so big if I was to shine it in the light it would blind me.
I had to learn to shut my damn mouth and think things through before saying things that could result in giant rings being given to me left right and centre in envelopes.
Merlin save me.
Because I know my parents will kill me, they're not going to want to pay for an extravagant wedding! I can't have a wedding! I'm not even eighteen yet!
And it's not that that's hurting my brain, sure it's a big part of it, you know, the whole I'm-too-young-to-be-married-so-I-don't-know-what-to-do thing, but the fact that I'm sitting here with my hand out with said stupid wedding brick attached to my ring finger and in my other hand is a note.
Telling me that I have to decide if it's a yes or a no before we leave for Christmas tomorrow.
Fucking help me.
(A/N)
Ey' yo! I'm back!
Just like Angelina off Jersey Shore, difference is, she left and it looks like I'm staying to write another story.
Muahahaha.
People, if you're new, then you're probably thinking, "What's with this story?"
If you're confused, you better go read my first story, The Hard Times Of One Rose Genevra Jean Weasley… this story is the sequel to that.
Caelum is pronounced Ky-Lum. just so you know.
I'm sorry all my faithful readers, I won't be updating for a week and a half, I'm in Australia!
I'll update on the 21st of July, 2011.
Keep reading! and review! Give me a reason to write!
