The following short fic is a sequel to "Pranks for nothin'", so don't forget to check it out first if you haven't already. In addition to this story having a Pit/Phosphora pairing, it will mostly bear a 9-Volt/Phosphora pairing in a little-brother-and-big-sister kind of way since in my fics, she is one of 9-Volt's favorite Kid Icarus characters besides Pit and would gladly prefer her over Viridi any day.
DISCLAIMER: WarioWare Inc., Kid Icarus and Super Smash Bros. are properties of Nintendo; Bomberman belongs to Hudson Soft despite Konami's takeover as of March 2012. All other franchises (i.e. Contra, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, Wreck-It Ralph, etc.) and briefly-mentioned arcade games are properties of their respective owners. I do, however, own my OCs I added to this fic: 9-Volt's best friend Phoebe, as well as Arctic Bomber and Blaze Bomber, and the six bad guys from the underworld - Purple Basilisk and his Chaotic Bombers.
-Regaining a happy ending-
[Interlude BGM: World 8 - Dark Land (Super Mario Bros. 3 (Super Mario All-Stars version))]
"You think we should...maybe plan about our...next M.O.?"
"Ehh...let's save that for some other time. I gotta fix your hands because Purple Basilisk is still at the underworld casino with Warlock and Siren...and I still haven't gotten started on reattaching my insect wings after Bowser went ape on me!"
Having suffered a humiliating defeat as punishment for screwing with the astral hotline at Palutena's Temple up in Skyworld, Mosquito Bomber had no choice but to repair Trigger Bomber along with both their 3DS's that were damaged during the battle royale. Boxer Bomber, on the other hand, spent some of his time looking up all the details on the newest Super Smash Bros game planned to be released on the Wii U and 3DS in the near future.
"The stuff they got looks great, but that wimpy foo named Little Mac ain't got nothin' on me! Ahh, screw it...I'm gonna go lie down for a while and maybe forget we ever went along with that stupid idea of yours..."
"Ugh, will you just give it a rest already, Boxer?!" whined Mosquito Bomber. "Because we got busted, chances are Palutena's already beefed up her security all over again! Not that Bowser, Ganondorf and Dr. Wily contributed to restoring order..."
Trigger Bomber added, "Hey, look on the bright side: That angel kid and his airheaded girlfriend won't be spoiling our fun for who knows how long."
[End BGM]
[Consolation BGM: Continue (Kirby's Return to Dream Land)]
Elsewhere on the surface, Pit and Phosphora had just finished cleaning up the damage to Palutena's Temple prior to coming all the way back down in the late afternoon. Unfortunately, neither one felt like checking out the Mario Party attraction at Wario Park like they promised 9-Volt and Phoebe; instead they headed over to Blaze Bomber's Diamond Arcade World - temporarily run by Penny Crygor and her grandpa since Blaze Bomber was out with his fellow Contras at a Starbucks Coffee shop - to take their mind off of things. Just then, 9-Volt and Phoebe, now accompanied by 5-Volt as Cheerful White, Cute Pink and Yuffie Kisaragi headed on back from Wario Park, noticed their Skyworld pals feeling down and decided to hang out.
"Mom, do you think there's something that can cheer them up? Phoebe and I can keep them company while you go someplace."
"I think I do, 9-Volt. A game store nearby should have Tomodachi Life on 3DS, at the very least two copies I could buy for Pit and Phosphora. Will you be alright for a while?"
Phoebe nodded. "Don't worry, ma'am. We're safe here with them around."
The moment 9-Volt's mom headed out after waving goodbye, Pit turned his attention over. "Oh, hey there. We're just...uh, it's a long story."
"Don't blame yourselves. It's Palutena's fault for not keeping her own temple in check."
"Yeah, I wish she could have made up a better code for her alarm system, much less be aware of who really called her. But then Phosphora and I got the short end of the stick when it was those Chaotic Bombers who tricked us, and we still get blamed when it wasn't even our fault."
"That stinks. Say, where's Phosphora anyway? Isn't she supposed to be with you?"
"I dunno. She told me she wanted to play Soul Calibur II for a bit, but that's just it."
9-Volt spoke up, "I'll go find her, Pit."
Pit smiled in return. "Thanks, 9-Volt. You and Phoebe are the best...but weren't White, Pink and Yuffie with you earlier?"
"They had to go home. It's just us and my mom now." 9-Volt walked off to find Phosphora.
"Um...you wanna play Dance Dance Revolution X2 with me?" asked Phoebe.
Pit shook his head no. "Nah, I don't feel like dancing right now. Maybe a few rounds of Pac-Man Battle Royale or Panic Park will do."
[End BGM]
9-Volt, on the other hand, looked all over the arcade building for his lightning-themed guardian angel. She wasn't present in the 2000 and Beyond section when Pit was certain she'd be playing Soul Calibur II, nor the other two areas representing the 80s and 90s eras. He even looked outside the building but still no sign of Phosphora either, at least until he found her sitting on a park bench at the nearby Pearl Square, looking at a few birds on the grass.
"Oh, why us...? And it wasn't even our fault..."
"Phosphora?"
"Sigh...Hi, 9-Volt..."
9-Volt walked a bit closer and sat next to the girl. "I don't believe you and Pit are to blame for what happened at Palutena's Temple. Maybe I should have just come with you all the way to bear witness ever since that first crank call you both got today..."
"No, no, I don't want you to suffer. That old lady should take care of her own temple instead of relying heavily on her Centurion guards to do so because like Pit said, it's the modern age here on Earth now."
"Mm-hmm...I know I shouldn't just let all of that stop me from enjoying the new Smash Bros. game when it comes out because Palutena's in and you're not...Then again, you only got to be one of the Assist Trophy characters along with Magnus..."
"Whaddya mean?" Phosphora asked confusedly.
The Nintendo boy fidgeted on the bench in nervousness as he tried to find an answer. "I should have been there when you needed me most. I mean, good little boys help their guardian angels now and then out of kindness in return for protecting them, but..." Eventually at a loss for words, he sighed in defeat and closed his eyes, trying hard not to let any tears come out.
"...Sorry."
Indeed it had been a rough day for Pit and Phosphora after all they'd been through for absolutely nothing. Dr. Wily, Bowser and Ganondorf weren't causing trouble like "Palutena" claimed in the phone calls, and yet in the end the real Palutena returned from a wasted trip to Vegas as a result of the crank call she got from the Chaotic Bombers who impersonated a Centurion Knight standing amongst the "restless crowd." Despite having fallen for the call and leaving her throne room unguarded with a very weak password for the alarm system, she downright blamed Pit and Phosphora for the things they never did and put them to work on repairing the collateral damage anyway, claiming it's their fault for "not being on guard at the temple while she was out." Since then, all Phosphora wanted to do was just make this humiliating experience go away, though not by doing what a typical adult male would do after a rough night out for obvious reasons. If she could just find a way to get even on both Pit's behalf and her own, perhaps she'll be happy again. The moment 9-Volt sat down next to her and leaned over to her side for a hug, her depression slowly but surely changed into a warm, motherly affection with a genuine smile when she saw the look of sadness in his eyes.
[Comfort BGM: Melody of the Lute (Final Fantasy IV)]
"Oh jeez, 9-Volt! What're you talking about?" She paused in mid-sentence to laugh softly as she opened her arms for a hug. "Aww, c'mere, you..."
"I didn't mean to not come with you and Pit..."
The Lightning Flash hushed him soothingly as she enveloped him in a warm hug, resting his cheek against hers. She gingerly took off his helmet and placed it beside herself. "Shhh, it's okay. None of all the stuff that happened to me and Pit today was your fault."
"Still...because Palutena's officially in as a playable character...I have to work harder to keep a very big secret that you're my guardian angel from Skyworld..." He buried his face on her chest with tears coming out of his eyes.
"Nah, she shouldn't care about who's right for Pit and who isn't. Besides, I'm sure he won't let her spread any lies to everyone about me being bad just because I used to work for Viridi the Brat, so you don't have to keep me a secret from anyone."
"But I had to keep you a secret because...because if any stranger found out, they'd think I'm a traitor, that I betrayed my own kind..."
"I doubt that, sweetie. Sometimes people are just...well, stupid, I guess. They believe everything they see or hear without caring about whether it's true or not, but I know not all humans are bad from what Pit told me. I feel the same he does, and I'll be honest with you: he was right about Viridi being hypocritical and stuff. But the thing is, just because I made a debut as a boss character in one chapter from Kid Icarus: Uprising doesn't instantly mean I'm a bad girl in real life. I was brainwashed that time until Pit knocked that Chaos Kin larva off the back of my neck by defeating me in battle, setting me free and we all know it."
9-Volt looked up at her smiling face. "That's true..."
"Other than that, we can't do too much about anyone being stupid enough to call you a traitor for befriending me because I used to be with the Forces of Nature a loooong time ago. We just gotta take it as it comes, and stick together through and through. But like I said, you don't have to keep me a secret from anyone. And anyone who tries to harm you about it will get a lightning bolt in the mouth! That goes double for Waluigi and whatever other selfish jerks any of us know, and I'm sure our friends know better - especially the six Contras - because they're good guys, so therefore they believe I'm pure-hearted like you do too. But the truth is that Pit and I are together now ever since I fixed his wings at the Rewind Spring in return for freeing me, you and I are the best of friends and I'm one of your guardian angels. That's all you need to know. I love you as though you were my little brother."
9-Volt smiled warmly in response not only to what his guardian angel said, but also the affectionate kiss she planted on his forehead. Feeling a lot better now that she cheered him up, he wiped away the tears from his eyes with both his hands. "That's what Mona would always say to me whenever I'm feeling down; I see her as a big sister to me."
"Mm-hmm. Sure, sometimes I tease Pit and even tickle him, but only in a playful way because I find him cute. And I care about him too. It just makes me mad to see somebody picking on him and judging him by his size, whether it's for laughs or whatever reason they can think of. Especially Palutena, who of all gods should know better than that."
"They should be thankful he lived to defeat Hades one-on-one and we know it."
"I know, right? C'mon, let's go back inside the arcade with Phoebe and Pit."
"Thanks, Phosphora. Say...uh...have you ever thought about, well, getting back at Palutena somehow?"
The Lightning Flash thought about it momentarily. "I'll be blunt: I have tried a few times, but then again, I'm always open to some new ideas."
[End BGM]
[Overworld BGM: Goomba Village (Paper Mario)]
Walking back to Diamond Arcade World, the pair reunited with Phoebe and Pit and came up with a plan to help compensate for all the crank calls the angel boy and thunder girl had to endure today, but not before stating that somebody's gotta stick around in case 5-Volt came back with two copies of Tomodachi Life. Pit volunteered to stay with Phoebe in case of another crank call in spite of her mentioning it's not likely to happen anymore, knowing he'd much rather spend his afternoon with his friends than resume janitorial duty. He and Phosphora deserved a day off from Skyworld and they knew it. After discussing their plans, Phosphora cast a lightning spell upon 9-Volt's helmet so he could fly with her for a while, let alone teleport someplace else in a flash, as long as they held each other's hands. First they went to Ashley's mansion to borrow her wand (Red in disguise), her spellbook and a rejuvenating potion without getting caught, then headed to WarioWare Inc. for Wario's old 16-lb. bowling ball - even though they made sure to clean and polish it since it's obvious he hadn't been taking good care of it lately - and finally teleported themselves to Skyworld just outside Palutena's Temple. Looking over the spellbook, they cast an invisibility spell upon themselves so neither one would get busted. Then they gathered up at the ceiling with 9-Volt predicting Palutena would be starting up a "Vegetable Surprise with a side of Skyworld Soup" like from a Kid Icarus animated short he and Phoebe told Pit and Phosphora about. Watching closely whilst making sure 9-Volt's temporary ability to fly remained intact, they noticed the Goddess of Light adding one drop of her rejuvenator to a bowl of carrots.
"Ahh, there we go! Now I can get the Vegetable Surprise cooking to make up for that crank call I got from Las Vegas...wait, is it just me or do I have a feeling I'm being watched?" Palutena looked upward at the ceiling only to see nothing, which caused her to pour all of her rejuvenator into the carrots without even noticing it. "Oh well. I hope Pit's not goofing off with that troublesome Phosphora again since my palace is still in a big mess..."
Back on the ceiling, 9-Volt spoke quietly with Phosphora so as to not blow their cover. "Okay, she's looking away from the bowl now."
The teen blonde kept her voice down in spite of her excitement. "One glass full of rejuvenator, coming up!" She floated downward to pour an entire load of Ashley's own potion into the bowl, and returned to the ceiling.
"I usually don't like pranking people, but in this case, I'll make an exception if it's the only way to help regain yours and Pit's happy ending."
"I know what you mean, 9-Volt, and I really appreciate your help. Alrighty, now that everything's set, all we gotta do is watch the magic happen."
And so the pair watched closely once more whilst keeping quiet so as to not raise any suspicions. As predicted from the animated short, the carrots came to life, climbed out of the bowl and started marching around. As soon as Palutena noticed the now-animated carrots, she couldn't help but giggle at them sweetly. "Well, aren't you all just the cutest! But you are on the menu, so slicey-dicey and then it's time for a nice, hot oil bath."
[End BGM]
The moment she uttered those words, the carrots became offended and declared they wouldn't have that. Therefore, one of them threw a plate at Palutena while the other carrots threw knives and various cooking tools at her, turning the kitchen into a catastrophe in just seconds. As she scrambled to hide herself from the thrown objects, one of the carrots turned one of the stoves on full heat, causing it to explode near Palutena like a bomb, charring her hair a bit in the process. Three other carrots were also seen turning on more stoves on full and running away from the kitchen.
[Alert BGM: Boss Battle (Kirby's Return to Dream Land)]
"This is a case of too many cooks in the kitchen...Hey, what do you think you're doing? I just got started on repairing my palace! The last thing I need is another bomb explosion wrecking it on sacred grounds! Now let me remind you who eats who!"
The carrots stuck out their tongues at her and ran off, prompting her to give chase. "Bad carrots! Bad! When a lady says you're her dinner, she means it! Get back here!"
Unbeknownst to her, 9-Volt and Phosphora used Ashley's wand to alter the palace wall's landscape into a slope, followed by enlarging Wario's old bowling ball until it was ten times bigger than its normal size. "Now that's what I call striking it big! Here goes!"
With 9-Volt's help, she set the ball on the slope-like wall and let it roll straight down to the floor after Palutena.
"What the? AAAAAAAAAAAAHH! Oh no, oh no, OH NOOO!"
Back on the ceiling, 9-Volt and Phosphora giggled lightly. "We sure found a good use for Mr. Wario's run-down ball, didn't we?"
"You know it! Let's see how she likes getting bowled over for giving me and Pit an unhappy ending."
Palutena, now on the run from getting flattened like a pizza, mustered all the strength she had in order to get away from the huge-sized bowling ball. It might not have been as threatening as the big round statue the carrots pushed down in the animated short, but any alternative was possible to teach her a lesson. When Palutena came to a rope, however, she tried to avoid getting struck out by leaping onto the ball to balance her way out of trouble only to stumble about and fall off, landing back on the floor as the rope bridge collapsed due to the magically-increased size and weight of the bowling ball.
"If this is their idea of a funny act, they've got another thing coming!" The Goddess of Light summoned her staff to cast a spell, literally caging all of the animated carrots. "There we go! Now remember your place, friends: on my dinner plate."
To her surprise, the palace began to shake violently. "Huh? Oh no, don't tell me that's what I think it is!"
Back on the ceiling again, the pair began to fear an impending explosion about to occur. "Uh-oh! I think this is the part where we fly outta here! Women and children first!"
"My thoughts exactly! Wario's gonna have to get himself a new bowling ball, and give great care this time! Grab my hand and hold on tight!"
"I-I'm with you, Phos!"
While the brother-and-sister duo made their way out of the palace, the three stoves that the animated carrots turned up to full power overheated to the point in which they all went KA-BOOM! at the same time, destroying the entire kitchen in the end. Fortunately, though, 9-Volt and Phosphora were able to escape to safety.
[End BGM]
"Whew! That was too close for comfort..." 9-Volt took off his helmet to wipe away some sweat from his forehead.
Phosphora stretched out her arms a bit. "Eeeyup. Just one more thing to do and we're good to go. Luckily that Voice-Changer wasn't destroyed in the explosion when Pit and I banished the Chaotic Bombers back to the underworld with their own inter-whatchamacallit." She tinkered with the Voice-Changer's settings until it displayed Zeus's face. "A little touch from Ashley's wand and...voila! Let's hope it works!"
Back at the ruins of the palace, Palutena groaned in pain from what she had been through just now, but still intent on resuming her Vegetable Special. From out of nowhere came the booming voice of the ruler of Mount Olympus, surprising Palutena even further.
Palutena of Skyworld, what you have witnessed was merely a taste of what shall happen if you do not go easy on Pit and let him be with Phosphora in peace, for she is not the "troublesome mistress of mischief" you claim her to be. And also be nice to all the carrots you brought to life, or risk disqualification from the official Smash Bros. roster!
"But I've always been nice to Pit when I'm not putting him to work, honest!"
Not if you are so intent on keeping him and Phosphora apart by spreading rumors about her being the enemy! The benevolent king of Mount Olympus has spoken!
"Okay, okay! I promise not to judge her by what she's done in ages past anymore!" With the Goddess of Light now wishing she hadn't gotten herself punished by the carrot monsters, 9-Volt and Phosphora felt satisfied at their success and put away the Voice-Changer that Mosquito Bomber unintentionally left behind, prior to making themselves visible again.
Phosphora said to herself, "So much for that Vegetable Surprise of yours, ma'am! Ha, that'll show her."
"Now you and Pit have your happy ending just the way it should be..." But as 9-Volt was talking, he began feeling his ability to fly around was about to wear off. "Uh, Phosphora? I think my helmet's turning back to normal..."
"It's okay, 9-Volt. I'll carry you back to Earth while you hang on to our stuff. We won't need to enchant your helmet anymore."
[Ending BGM: Mario Bros. (Super Smash Bros. Brawl)]
With a snap from her fingers, she teleported herself and the boy back to Diamond City in a lightning flash, just outside Diamond Arcade World to see Pit, Phoebe and 5-Volt again, the angel boy being the first to wave hello. "Hey, guys! So, did your plan work? Do we have our happy ending back?"
"Of course, silly! You know I wouldn't let you down after what you did for me in the past." Phosphora playfully gave him a noogie and tickled his sides.
"Ack! Hahaha, that tickles! Stoppit, Phos!"
"Gootchie gootchie goo!"
Phoebe smiled. "I'm glad our afternoon's back to normal, so whaddya say we game-jump into Sugar Rush and say hi to Vanellope and her pals?"
9-Volt whooped excitedly, "Sounds good to me, Phoebe!"
"Ha ha, I agree with you!" stated Pit. "Boy, I needed that..."
"Anytime, you little scamp. C'mere." Phosphora gave him a bear hug, and a smooch to the cheek.
9-Volt giggled. "I bet the floor ice cream they have in their own game is good and clean."
Phoebe nodded in agreement. "Definitely! The update isn't for another few hours anyway."
"Alright, let's settle down so we can teleport ourselves into Game Central Station," said 5-Volt. "Maybe we can tell the Sugar Rush kids all about the new Super Smash Bros. installment and what it's got in store."
"We can make me a floor ice cream kart while we're at it!" suggested Pit.
"I wish the Bake-A-Kart minigame had a lightning bolt decoration to choose," admitted Phosphora, "but hey, maybe it'll be in the update."
"Like the old saying goes: anything's possible when we put our minds into it," said 9-Volt.
Pit, however, had something else in mind. "Uh...I don't mean to ruin our moment, Phosphora, but what about the 10,000 coins we owe Bowser for his room and stuff?"
The teen blonde smirked in response. "Let's just say 9-Volt and I persuaded Wario to donate most of his profits from Game & Wario to patch things up, before we went to Skyworld."
THE END
(Ending Credits)
9-Volt - TARA STRONG
Phoebe - HYNDEN WALCH
Pit - ANTONY DEL RIO
Phosphora - KARI WAHLGREN
5-Volt - GREY DELISLE
Palutena - ALI HILLIS
Mosquito Bomber - LAUREN TOM
Trigger Bomber - DONALD BROWN
Boxer Bomber - BOB CARTER
[End BGM]
[End Credits]
And there you have it, folks! I bet you can already guess which Kid Icarus animated short I referred to, but beyond that, you didn't think I'd let Pit and Phosphora remain stuck with that unhappy ending after what they'd been through back in "Pranks for nothin'", did ya? ;)
