THIS IS BEING WRITTEN SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF ANGERING YOU ALL. HE-HE.

IF YOU ARE AN EXTREME FAN OF DARK LINK, GO TO CHAPTER 1

IF YOU ARE JUST OBSESSED WITH ZELDA GAMES, GO TO CHAPTER 4

IF YOU HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH GANON/ZANT/VAATI/ANY BOSSES, GO TO CHAPTER 2

IF YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER IS ZELDA, GO TO CHAPTER FIVE

IF YOU JUST WANT TO HEAR RANDOM THINGS, GO TO CHAPTER 3

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS, READ BELOW.

OKAY, IM ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND AND I WANT TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE I CAN ANGER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FEEL BAD FOR POSTING THIS. HA-HA

ANOTHER REASON IS THAT I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN FIND PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE OBSESSED WITH ZELDA THAN I AM. BELIEVE ME, IT'S A HARD RECORD TO BEAT.

FINALLY, I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHI NG. GAH. AFTER I POST THIS, MAYBE I'LL POST MY BLOODY-GOREY ZELDA STORY, CHAPTER BY CHAPTER… JUST TO ANNOY YOU…