Diary: Boromir of Gondor

At The Council of Elrond That creepy wizardy guy who's wearing all grey has really started to get to me. All hell broke lose today,and I admit,I did get a teensy bit out of line. But you see,it was all Gimli's fault. If he had just stopped to ask for directions like I suggested,but no, he had to go and get us lost. He's so silly sometimes,you know? Foolish elves, especially that really sexy one who,I think, is Galadriel. But since when does she set one measly footsie- wootsie out of Lothlorien,like never. Aragorn brought these hobbity-type guys with him...I fancy the one with the curly hair...well...all of them...that is. I think Legolas was starting to get jealous because their hair is naturally curly,and shiny. He always was the jealous type. Glad we broke up...Wait....I'll accompany them where? I must have not even been paying attention and somehow,I got sucked into their litle group. Great,now I have to get a whole new wardrobe...I clash!

Up Mt. Caradhras: I'm getting such frostbite that my hair's starting to freeze! You know, I think that Legolas guy is making fun of me. I'm not sure,but is that Galadriel or Legolas up ahead? I do hate to ask, he/she gets agitated. And you know,what really makes me mad,is the fact that I can't get near Gimli because of that cheeky elf and his...smooth,shiny hair. And he needs to stop walking on the snow like a smart-ass. He could have atleast offered to help the rest of us do that...jeez...rude elves..oh no! I broke a nail!

Morian Mines: All this darkness makes my eyes hurt. By the time we get out,I'll have evolved into a mole-type-thingy. Orcs! Not orcs! And a troll as well of course...can't have a bloodbath complete without him. I think all the darkness of Moria is damaging my hair,its even more tangly and oily. But Aragorn and I took a ery manly bubbly-bath. He says it helps for good brotherhood,maybe I'll try and get Gimli to come to my sleeping bag tonight...oh blast..he's with Galadriel...(Legolas?)

Gandolf: hrm..odd...I don't remember there being a gigantic bye-bye hole in the middle of Moria...*shrug* no matter,Gandolf was the one who let me in on that secret,when he fell in. I think Legolas (or is it Galadriel?) pushed him in. But I'll say nothing.. I'll just keep trying to get Gimli to look at me...

Lothlorien: In Lothlorien, hate Galadriel,hate Legolas...hate dresses..not very pretty on them. Showed Aragorn how to hold the horn of Gondor,was interrupted by pesky elves...is there no privacy here? Hate everything..Gimli...please pay attention to me!

Rowing: Left Lothlorien,thank god,all the shinyness in the otherwise dark tree- infested place was really getting to my eyes...damned contacts. Gimli...leave that elf alone..I'm right here..oh well,I'll settle for a hobbit..

Frodo Tempts Me: For the last time..I was NOT tempted by the ring...that elf is really starting to get on my nerves. All I did was hold the ring a moment.So what if I tried to cut Frodo's head off,so what if I told him there were no pirahna in the water.....I did not lie! In other news,teaching those two other little hobbits besides Gamgee and Frodo how to sword-fight. They are most enlightening to watch...they seem to like my Horn of Gondor as well..if only Gimli did...

Boromir dies!?!!: Wait...Boromir what?!! This title is quite alarming! *arrow shot* Oh shit! I'm being shot at! *shot again* I wasn't informed of this! Hey! Maybe I should have read the script! *shot yet again,falls to knees* Oh no! No! Gimli! No!! *shot* hey! that one was Legolas...you bastard!! I'll get you J.R.R. Tolkein...its a bloody shame..he always kills off the best characters...damn it!!

*dies*