I will always be with you

Hopefully this would be more than an oneshot.

It was dark and silent inside the castle.

The only light source was Calcifer which was so small it was nothing more than a speck of light. Howl wouldn't give him any new pieces of logs to place on the fire place.

Howl himself was looking out the window at the rain he had been standing there for more than two hours. The sky was dark blue that left a slight blue glow through the room giving Howl more of a ghostly era than a human one.

Markel was sitting next to Calcifer not making a sound. He just waited for Howl to move or leave so he could move.

Howl eyes finally moved. He looked over to the stairs. There was no light up there too and no sounds not even the rain.

He turned and walked heavily up the stairs. The windows were the only source of light up there. He was slightly glad of that. He couldn't stand it if the sun was shining through the windows. He was possibly the reason it was so dark and raining.

He walked up to one of the windows and put his hand against the glass. The castle was flying low over the sea still heading towards the kings castle. He needed Suliman's help. Sophie might die if he didn't.

He turned away from the window and walked into his bedroom. This was the darkest room in the house not even the glow of the rain shone. The room had once been a beautiful lime green and yellow but now it was black.

Howl walked slowly towards the bed where he sat and waited.

Sophie's breathing was low and heavy that could barely be heard. He lay down so he could look at her face. He face was drained from energy and was pale in a bleached way. Carefully he held her close letting her lay her head rest on his shoulder. Sophie moaned gently but didn't awake. Howl couldn't imagine the agony Sophie could have been feeling now.

"You were always the strong one" he whispered to her stroking her hair. "You would know what to do." He whispered close to tears.

He rubbed her stomach gently against her lace night gown. He had been so happy when she told him. The thought of being a father had been so new the same way he felt when they got married.

She had waited the whole day to tell him. She had been so nervous and hadn't said a word the whole day he hadn't realised at the time but now that day was melted into his subconscious. She waited until the very end of the day possibly thinking the best way to explain.

It wasn't until he was an inch from falling asleep did she admit it with her back to him. Once he heard she was pregnant he sat up quickly and turned slowly towards her. "What?" he could just about whisper scared he had just misheard her.

She looked at him surprised for a second before whispering again "I'm pregnant."

It sounded like it was no big deal but she was possibly scared of what he might do next. Howl turned her over and kissed her on the lips holding her close. When he leaned back Sophie looked at him completely taken a back. Howl just laughed and turned over pulling her on to his chest.

"Sometimes I wonder if she even knows me" thought Howl sadly back in the dark bedroom. He looked over at the cradle he had made for her by magic. It was the only thing that wasn't shrouded in darkness like the other things in his room.

"A boy or a girl" he had whispered often to himself. He would love both. Patience wasn't Howl strong points. He would often beg her to let him see with magic what it was but she would not let him, that was Sophie. He chuckled to himself. She wouldn't let him anywhere near her for a month. He had to literally promise not to use magic to see what sex the baby was only after than did she let him feel her again.

That's when it started. It started as a slight cough. Sophie just coughed now and again and she insisted that it was nothing. "You worry too much Howl" she smiled weakly at him when he asked again if she was sick.

He had tried to except it but he still worried, any good husband would. He tried to wrap her up in silk and feathers but that only annoyed her.

He should have tried harder.

Her cough got worse until she was coughing through the night. She kept trying to assure him it was nothing but it was past nothing. Sophie insisted she was getting better but he knew she was lying if anything it was getting worse for her.

Than one night two weeks ago she collapsed suddenly. Howl's worst nightmare began.

Sophie only became weaker and weaker as time went on until she was completely unconscious to the world. No matter what spells Howl used it wouldn't make any difference. He could just keep her alive. Only one person was strong enough and powerful enough to save her and that was Suliman, his old teacher. But they were on the other side of the world when Sophie became so ill.

One week and they were still not even on the coast yet.

She was so weak. Howl shifted her in his arms gently kissing her forehead and stroked her starlight hair. "My beautiful Sophie" he whispered he blamed himself for this. "You can't die; I am not the person I was when I met you a year ago. And I might turn back to my old self if you do."

~::~

Sophie opened her eyes weakly. She only became conscious now for a few second usually at night. Today she felt stronger than usual; she might be able to move her body. She weakly raised herself up looking for Howl.

She saw him sleeping beside her. She shifted to him and collapsed onto his chest. Howl didn't awake.

Sophie felt her strength leaving her again. It was always so dark. Was that her eyes going or was the castle dark? She didn't know.

She wanted to be held by Howl, not to feel dead. She was just a shell and would become dead to the world again soon. She took Howl's arms and pulled them around her. Howl was always so patient and caring to her. She wondered what was happening.

"Howl wake up, I don't want to be lonely again." She whispered but it was so low he could never hear her. She pulled one of his hands towards her stomach letting him touch her. She wanted to shift better onto her husband's chest but she had lost her strength again.

Her eyes closed as she became dead to the world.

Maybe she might live long enough to see her child. "We'll have three children" she said to him four months again "A boy for you a girl for me and one for good measure." Howl had laughed at that and said Markel and one more were enough for him.

"I love you Howl" she whispered and then her world was dark again.

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