O n e - s i d e d - W i n d o w

By:

S a s l y a x – c h a n

Rated: K+

Genre: A n g s t

Summary: [spoilers for 5:22] Sam has a difficult choice to make because he sees Dean, but Dean doesn't see him.

Disclaimer: I don't own the awesomeness that is Supernatural.


"One-sided Window"


She took him back. Sam laughs. The idiot took Dean back.

Sam doesn't know how to feel about that little piece of information.

If Lisa rejected him Sam would know what he had to do: He'd confront his brother, tell him he's alive, out of the pit, freed from Lucifer and Michael's cage, that God brought him back, but she took him back.

He doesn't know what to do now.

Of course Sam wants to reunite with his brother, but Dean finally has a chance to live that apple pie life. The life he himself always wanted.

It will be cruel to hide his existence from Dean, but if he walks through that door he'll ruin Dean's chance at normal. He will drag him back down into the dark life of a hunter. If he walks away Dean will have a chance to escape the Winchester curse.

Does Dean deserve this?

Tears fill Sam's eyes. Dean complied with his dying wish. Something he failed to do. Dean kept to his word. He went back to Lisa. Sam couldn't let go. Sam scavenged for any way to bring Dean back from hell. He drank demon blood. He used his powers. He listened to a demon.

Dean has a chance to move on. It will be a painful process, but Dean can move on.

It will be selfish to cover up his resurrection. It will be selfish to tear Dean away from Lisa and Ben. Sam knows Dean will never stay if he knows he's alive. Sam knows there will always be gaping hole in Dean's heart if Dean continues believing he's dead.

Should he confront Dean or continue living like a ghost?

Dean deserves a break from supernatural shit. But Dean also deserves happiness. Sam will linger around for a while; he'll see how well Dean adjusts to normal. If he can't find peace Sam will pop right back into Dean's life again, and explain everything. Dean will hug him and then punch him in the face for playing dead for so long, and things will go back to their normal.

So, for now, Sam does what he does best. He turns around and runs away.


The End


Posted: 5-13-10