The one thought that scared me the most echoed through my head as I knocked on his RV.
What if he doesn't want me?
I sure as hell knew that I wouldn't want me.
I wasn't exactly the most caring and gentle person around.
I mean, I had gotten him a can of lemonade for his birthday. What was wrong with me?
I shook my head. This was a stupid idea. I was going home. I was going home and burying myself under as much blankets as I could find and stuffing myself with Ben and Jerry's and watching those sad, sappy movies that Vega liked so much-
"Jade?"
Suddenly, I can't breathe.
He is standing in front of me, looking at me with that facial expression, his big brown eyes an etch of confusion and concern. I find myself staring at him dumbly.
"Jade, what are you doing here?"
I open my mouth to reply but its too dry, stuck with the words I wish I could say.
I wanted to say that I'm sorry for being such a horrible girlfriend. I'm sorry I can't be happy and understanding all the time. I'm sorry I'm so jealous and insecure. But if you take me back I promise I'll try to be the best I can to make you happy.
Instead, all that comes out is, "I want to get back together."
He looks at me for a long moment. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest as if I'd just run a marathon. It was crazy; Beck Oliver is the only person that can me feel such happiness, anxiety, and terror at the same time.
"You can't just decide to dump me and get back together with me whenever you want, Jade." He shakes his head a little and avoids my eyes. "I think time apart would good for us right now."
I didn't know, until now, it was possible to actually feel your heart break into millions of pieces. Tears fill my eyes and I turn away, because letting anyone see me like this is not something I can afford right now. I turn away from him and cover my eyes. I push down with the heel of my palm until all I can see is darkness, and it isn't until the soft click of the door being shut that I let out the whimper caught in my throat.
