AN. I just got this idea randomly. I was bored so I typed it up. I hope you enjoy it! I own only my OC in this fic, everything else belongs to the Erins. :)
Purpose, Meaning, Life
Life has little meaning when you serve under the power of BloodClan. Serve only to please your leader and satisfy your deputy. That's just how life goes until the very end here. We serve to avoid having our blood shed by Scourge and ears literally clawed off by his barley better deputy, Bone. We strive to keep our lives so we don't die. We hunt, feed and take care of ourselves to live, but live for what? Here in BloodClan are a group of cats who have already ruined their lives. BloodClan-born cats are raised to follow Scourge's every command and to be bloodthirsty with their only purpose to follow and think not for themselves.
What is our purpose to live? We have grown to feel little for others….to feel no love or care. We don't have any fun…that's because we can only serve. We are cats who have done wrong. That causes our path to already be set. Little times have cats escaped the BloodClan fate….there was that one cat. What was he called? Oh, I forget. Not like I really care though like anything else. But he now lives at a barn not far from where the cats of the four Clans call 'Highstones'. There is where they say they share tongues with StarClan. Huh, StarClan…they follow what we call a kit's tale. In BloodClan, we have not beliefs, nothing we look to for guidance. All we go by is the word of our leader.
One thing though, that I was convinced on was that for us, there was only darkness in the next world. The only place waiting for us after our deaths was the Dark Forest. So what really was better? Living the way we do or dying and forever roaming the Dark Forest? We just live and serve….that's how it's always done. We live in fear of death…of pain from Scourge's claws. What path is worse for us? We, or at least I, feel conflicted and yet still live in fear of death…
There was that day…Scourge planned to take control of the forest and force the Clan cats to leave. They were given three days…on that third day I and the rest followed Scourge to Fourtrees where we were met with all of the forest cats whom have bonded together and formed what they called LionClan. They had no plans on just giving up their land to Bone. I just stood there as usual, waiting for only Scourge's command to attack. That foolish Tigerstar from thee days prior thought he could command us. We follow only the leader of BloodClan, we live to serve only him.
Then…Scourge gave the signal and automatically I attacked as always. I ripped my teeth into the flesh of the Clan cats. All I really had to do was fight until we won. We always win. That was part of the routine. We attack, fight, and win. The victory, though, is never ours. It is of course Scourges. We are only his puppets.
I sunk my stained teeth into the neck of a black tom until his cries died from his throat and body went limp. This tom's paw was twisted, but still, he had put up a good fight even I had to admit. But once more, I just couldn't care less. I had to serve, fight, and kill for Scourge.
It was then…I heard the cry, "Scourge! Scourge is dead!"
I then felt my body stop. Dead? Scourge? Surely not Scourge? Like the BloodClan cats around me, I turned to flee, not knowing what else to do as we were chased from the Clan cats. My mind was confused, racing for once but I only fled until I was beyond the Clan territories when the Clans finally stopped and turned back, still yowling in their victory and triumph reflecting off their eyes.
For a long time, I just stood there, eyes distant. I then looked up at the other BloodClan cats, all of us were…lost. What do we do now? What is our purpose?
I felt so…strange. All my life since birth I have been serving Scourge and Bone. I have been their servant with no other meaning until I died and joined the Dark Forest to forever stalk. I couldn't bring myself to move my legs, where was I supposed to go? There was no order from anybody of authority. It was just me…and for the first time…I thought.
It took me a long time as I just stood there and thought. I didn't really…think that much. But that was what I did. The other BloodClan cats began to walk away to wherever they didn't know. I remained there. After a long moment to think, I realized something. Something that gave me a strange feeling in my heart….yes….I had a heart, one of my own. I have a mind as well, it didn't belong to anybody else…just me. Not Scourge.
I gazed up at the sun's dawn with my emerald eyes. It seemed…so bright, meaningful. And here is what I know…I was free.
I was free; I could feel a light breeze ripple through my black pelt. I flicked my silver ringed tail at the thought.
I was free….
Free…I could…make my own choices. This was a new dawn, my dawn. Then…for perhaps the first time in my life a smile broke out on my face; a real smile. I raced after that dawn, knowing I had new purpose. A new purpose I could make for myself.
My name is Sorrow, and I am a free cat…a free cat with new meaning to life.
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