A/N: Wingin' it totally. Tryin' my hand at random humor. Why not? Everyone else is doing it…Some of this stuff is borrowed from my good friend Buc, who, by-the-by, has a really cool story thing posted. She goes by Fawks, look her up. Oh, and I love making up random words. They are on purpose, for fun, not because I am incompetent.
Lego-lover tramped through the dense brush searching. (We dunno what she searched for, only that she was.) She huffed and puffed angrily as her searching was proving more and more futile. Behind her tramped many girls much like her. We will call them simply rabid and insane fangirls, aka, RaIF. The RaIF could not keep silent for the life of them. They muttered and argued with one another and occasionally broke into chickish spats punctuated by high-pitched yells. Lego-lover was filled with resolve; she completely ignored those following her, instead scrutinizing every fine detail of the path before her.
"Here!" She exclaimed to herself quietly, so as not to alert the RaIF. In the soil before her was a faint impression. Her eyes gleamed.
"What is it?" A casual RaIF came up behind Lego-lover, making her jump. "Is it him?"
Lego-lover shook her head. "It's nothing."
"No. You said something. What did you find?"
Lego-lover lowered her voice. "Don't tell the others jist yet. I found his footprint."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" The casual RaIF squealed. "Lego was here!" This caused an instant reaction among the other RaIF. They scrambled towards Lego-lover and the casual RaIF. In so little time the imprint of Legolas' soft leather sole had vanished in the chaos. As the RaIF yelled and fought about whose fault it was, Lego-lover slipped into the brush, following the direction of the footprint.
So now we know what Lego-lover was looking for. And we also know she found it. Now she leaves the RaIF behind. But not forever, of course they will always reappear, dang 'em.
"So, about that last golf game…" Legolas spoke hesitantly, "I want a rematch!" Defiance sprang into his eyes as he faced the Elf who had dared to beat the Prince of Mirkwood.
"Ha! A rematch you shall certainly have, though it won't help you at all." Haldir chuckled.
"Yeah, that's what you say!" Legolas turned away and stuck out his lower lip poutily. At that very moment Glorfindel appeared randomly. But that is the way of Elves, especially really old and brave Elves. Especially Elves that have killed a balrog, and been killed in the process, but I digress. Glorfindel appeared randomly as Legolas stuck out his lower lip poutily.
"Sup Leggy?" Glorfindel asked. "Y'look mighty hung up."
Legolas jumped a bit, but covered well. "Oh, hey Glorfie. Haldir is being mean to me. He insulted my golfing abilities."
"Golf! Dumb sport anyway. Besides, you don't hafta listen to that guy, he's got a hideous mole. All hideous Elves should really be ignored on a regular basis."
Legolas brightened. "Tru dat, man. But that could be a bit harsh, as no Elf is as hot as me." He preened visibly.
"Therein lies the problem." Glorfindel mumbled while walking away and disappearing as randomly as he came.
Legolas turned back to Haldir. "Man, I'll play golf with you, but you need to do something with that mole. It drives me mad."
"I have a mole?" Haldir whirled and ran off in search of a mirror.
Legolas sighed. "Stupid Galadrim."
Lego-lover continued following the infrequent signs of the elusive Elf she sought. Behind her, she could hear the RaIF clumsily following her more apparent tracks. She sighed. What can y'do?
Suddenly the tracks ended. She glanced around, panically. Looking up she saw a platform suspended high up in the tree. "A flet!" she exclaimed, and began urgently searching for a way up. She, of course did not realize that her prey could have been up the tree and back down long ago. Instead she grasped the bark and shimmied up the trunk with only a little trouble, as she had been training for this expedition for months. She had done countless push-ups and chin ups. She had run thousands of miles. She had climbed ropes. She had swum upstream for miles. She had gone days without food, water or sleep. All these rather crazy things she had done for the sake of trekking into unknown realms in search of her love. I think that might be considered tangential, so back to Lego-lover.
She pulled herself onto the platform and cursed it emptiness. "Where? Where have you gone my love?" He voice carried backward through the foliage to the RaIF who could not hear her, as they were arguing again, and forward to another flet that Legolas sat on, pouting about his latest loss to the hideous moled Elf. He ceased pouting for a time, to listen. He had been so consumed with himself that he had neglected to hear the clumsy Lego-lover and the much clumsier RaIF. He stood and peered through the canopy toward the source of the exclamation. Seeing a female standing dejectedly on the neighboring flet brought a smile to his face. He trotted across the boughs to the flet and alighted next to Lego-lover, making her startle and nearly fall from the railless platform. Legolas caught her by the arm and she immediately swooned.
"Hmmm." Legolas collected the limp girl and placed her in the centre of the flet. "She is a Man. And female." He appraised her slumbering form. Suddenly her eyes sprang open and she gasped at him.
"Legolas? Is that really you? I've been looking for you everywhere. I've been looking for you for weeks. I've loved you forever." She panted for breath and went on, "Wow, you are quick and quiet. You sure dropped in randomly. How sweet of you to answer my call." She paused again. This time Legolas jumped in.
"How do you know me? Do you ever stop talking?" He was astonished to find a being that rambled as much as he did. (This is the reason that Legolas was only given very few simple lines in Jackson's movies.)
Lego-lover took a deep breath. "You're famous! OhmyEru!" She suddenly exclaimed. "The RaIF! They will be here any minute. You must whisk me away to safety."
Legolas did not question the suggestion/order. He was obliged to whisk the lovely lady anywhere. Besides, the creatures that were promised sounded mighty scary. He tossed Lego-lover over his shoulder and darted into the foliage.
A/N: I think that's enough for one go. Who knows if I will continue. Sorry Buc for using some of your lines, but I could not resist. Besides, as a parody, I can parodize a parody can't I? Anyway, tell me what you think.
