Major crack fic I wrote for a Latin assignment. Hope it makes you laugh like it did for me when I was writing it. Please let me know if any of the characters are OOC. Thank you!


"Black*Star! Give me back my book!"

"Bwahahaha! Poor Maka can't get the book back, because I am AMAZING and I WILL SURPASS GOD! Hahahahaha!"

"Maka~ CHOP!"

The sound of a hard bound book slamming into Black*Star's head had me laughing softly, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as I turned to view what had happened. Sure enough, Maka was standing there over the top of Black*Star with her book in hand, and the blue haired meister was on the ground whining about how the "maka chop" had hurt him. Tsubaki, his weapon partner, was hovering over him with worried eyes.

"Black*Star, are you alright?" the demon blade asked, pulling her partner onto her lap.

I snorted slightly and chuckled at the almost instant response from the young meister.

"I'm fine Tsubaki! See!" He leapt to his feet, striking a pose much like a muscle builder. "For I am the famous Black*Star! And no book can hurt such a BIG MAN as ME!"

Maka turned to him with flames practically in her eyes and I smirked slowly. "Three... two... one..." I murmured, watching her hand twitch towards her book. She picked it up and swung it up over her head again and I laughed flat out as she brought it down on top of his head again.

"Veni, vedi, vici,"(1) the scythe meister said smugly, tucking her book under her arm and dusting off her hands. Her weapon partner, Soul, was laughing just as hard as me at the condition of Black*Star on the ground. He looked like his head had a fountain coming out of it, and the sick part of me laughed even harder even as I moved over to help Tsubaki patch up the poor boy's head. Luckily I was silent on the outside now, though I think my cheeks had tear streaks on them.

While patching up Black*Star, I let my mind trail back to when I had first met this rag tag group of meisters and weapons. Almost three years ago, when I had showed up without a place to call my own and this group had taken me in. Ahh. Tempus fugit.(2) We'd been through so much since those first days... though I have to say... this must be the most I've seen Black*Star get "Maka Chopped" in one day. Normally he'll only get it once... but twice? Almost rare.

It was at that moment Crona spoke up from the corner of the reason. "I-I'm not sure I know how to deal with the blood that's spurting out of Black*Star's head. I don't think I can deal with it..." he said softly.

I turned towards him and smiled politely. "Aw, c'mon Crona," I said soothingly. "Carpe diem!"(3)

"I don't know how to deal with Latin either!" the boy cried, sliding down the wall.

I chuckled slightly and stood, walking over to him. "Hey, Black*Star is going to be fine. He has a hard head, so he'll be okay once he wakes up, alright?"

The pink haired boy nodded slowly. "If you say so Miss Rae," he said, fiddling with his fingers.

I smiled and ruffled his hair slightly. A phrase I had learned in Latin long ago fit him almost perfectly. Tabula rasa(4) I believe it was. Crona was a clean slate, needing to be taught things now that Medusa didn't have a hold on his life.

"Maka... it's symmetrical. Perfectly symmetrical."

I turned to the new voice, eyes wide. I hadn't heard that smooth talking voice in what seemed like forever. As I turned, I saw everyone else turn as well. Almost like we had practiced it, everyone grinned and then cried one word. "KID!"

The boy in question smiled politely. "Hello everyone," he said calmly as Liz and Patty, his demon gun weapons, stepped inside the room as well.

I spotted Maka grinning and then she looked confused. "Wait, what's perfectly symmetrical?" she asked, looking around.

"Black*Star's injuries of course!" Kid exclaimed, looking at the twin blood marks on the blue haired meister's bandages. "Perfectly symmetrical, the epitome of beauty."

I laughed softly at that and his eyes were drawn in my direction, and I smiled and waved at him. "Pax tecum!"(5) I chirped.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "You know that's a farewell... right?" he asked.

I nodded. "I know, buuut I wanted to say it, so there," I said, grinning slightly.

He shook his head and muttered something under his breath, but I caught the last part. It sounded something like, "Rae, you'll be the death of me." Or maybe he had said "ad infinitum"(6)... could have been either one. Though I don't really know why he'd say the second one.

Either way, I only smiled at him and sat back on my heels by Crona. Oh yeah, this was my group of crazy friends.

Tu es in fine.(7)


1. I came, I saw, I conquered
2. Time flies
3. Seize the day
4. Clean slate
5. Peace be with you
6. to infinity
7. You are finished.