Disclaimer: We do not own the manga/anime Ouran High School Host Club. If we did, there would be more of these random moments between Haruhi and Tamaki---okay, so the whole series is pretty random, most of the time. We don't own it. We just don't.
A/N: No, I have no idea where this came from. But I kinda smiled when I wrote it. And when I performed it over Gmail chat at one in the morning for Sarah, trying to do my Tamaki voice quietly.
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"Don't. Touch. The. Oven." Ah, how lovely the school kitchen was in the springtime! How nice were the soft white curtains fluttering about the window! How homey was the red checked tablecloth draped across the table! How perfect was my daughter in her apron, her hair clipped back! Her bright eyes shining! Her hands…on her hips? Her mouth…frowning at me. Telling me to stay away from the birth center of my past culinary failures.
Oh. Well, okay! That must have meant she wanted to do it herself!
"Ahhhh, Haruhi! Of course, my daughter wants to help her father cook!"
"Tamaki, for the last time, I'm not your daughter!"
"Oh, now don't be shy, you can help!"
"I'm not being shy, I-"
"Come on, place the cookie sheet into the oven with Daddy! Come on now!"
"Ugh, those aren't cookies! They're black and you haven't even baked them yet!"
"Go on and help daddy cook!"
"I'm not helping you blow up the place! Wah! Don't touch me there!"
Haruhi…I'd forgotten. She didn't like it when I touched her.
Well, alright then! I could fix that in a jiffy!
"HARUHI! COME TO DADDY! LET HIM DEEPEN OUR BONDS! LET'S GO BACK TO THE LOVING DUO WE ONCE WERE!"
She turned around. Froze. I couldn't see her face.
"We…were never a loving duo, senpai."
"Were too."
"Were not."
"Were t~ooooo."
"Were not."
"Ohhh, yes we were."
"Senpai, you're impossible!"
This was when I looked up. And what I saw bothered me. Bothered me deeply.
Hikaru was walking towards my bowl. My bowl that I had so lovingly stirred. The stirred bowl containing cookies I was baking for Haruhi.
Surely, he had a dastardly plan to ruin my gift for my daughter.
"Hikaru?"
"Yes, milord?"
"Don't. Touch. My. Cookie. Dough."
