Author's Note: This is a short one-shot and hopefully at least slightly amusing! I haven't done much fanfiction writing in a long time, but this popped into my head during the MTV Movie Awards (of all things) and I couldn't make it go away. Reviews are gold.

Disclaimer: Clearly, I don't own anything (as in anything related to Twilight or in general). Twilight was created by Stephenie Meyer and I make no money off this. Actually, I make no money at all. I just play with characters on occasion.

A Wand is a Wand

"I want a wand."

Three sets of eyes turned to stare at Alice with varying degrees of intrigue when she pranced into the living room. Everyone in the Cullen family or vaguely acquainted with its members knew Alice could be random in the extreme. Most of the time, no one paid much attention to her more nonsensical disclosures; but sometimes, on rare occasions, she managed to force everyone into silence without even playing the psychic card.

Edward, Emmett, and Jasper waited for her to continue. In typical form, she kept her mind carefully blank and stared them all down, waiting herself. Clearly, she was expecting an actual conversation.

"You still have one from last Halloween," Jasper pointed out when the silence had stretched on for entirely too long. The comment nearly sounded like a question because she was tripping him up. He couldn't quite place why she was so amused by this sudden epiphany of hers.

Edward coughed to cover a laugh, picking Alice's response out of her head moments before she made it. Emmett quickly threw a pillow at his head (which Edward neatly caught and placed behind his own head) in response. Why did they have to have those annoying internal conversations anyway?

"That's a fairy wand, Jazz. I'm talking about a real wand. Hand-carved and as expensive as I can find!" Clearly, she wasn't letting go of this tangent without forcing someone other than Edward to discover the meaning behind the new fad.

Obliging as ever, Jasper gave her a placating look. "What are you going to do with a wand, Alice?"

"Oh," she waved a hand dismissively, as if this should be the most obvious thing in the world. "Magic. Levitation spells, summoning spells, all sorts of things like that. What else? I'm not just going to set it on a shelf to collect dust!" After collecting a groan from two-thirds of her company and a chuckle from the remaining fraction, Alice flashed them a toothy grin and bounded for the stairs, scooping a book off the landing in the process.

Emmett rolled his eyes and grabbed the television remote to flip channels for anything more interesting than this. "We're not in an episode of Charmed, Alice."

"She's thinking more along the lines of Harry Potter," Edward interjected helpfully.

"Even worse. Do you have to read those books every other year?"

Alice's laughter trilled from the general direction of the stairs. "Just gearing up for the movie!"

Emmett gave Jasper a questioning look, but the blond only managed a shrug. "She likes the paranormal."

"She is the paranormal. What more does she want?"

Edward laughed a half-second too soon when Alice yelled back: "A wand!"