JUDAS
Okay, so basically this is based on and after what happened in Season 5, except Season 6 doesn't really go that way, because Lucifer's here again. Based on an imagination of what would happen if Lucifer wasn't really the heartless mercenary he seemed to be...
No one understood Lucifer. No one ever had. His own brothers had cast him away, it was no wonder the entire world shunned him too. Not that he cared anything for the world. His lesser brothers and sisters in Heaven were lying, cheating scoundrels... and as for humans? They were not fit to be even the ground he walked upon.
Lucifer had always hated humans. He would never admit it aloud, not even to himself, but he was really jealous of them. They were wicked, soul less abominations, ruined abortions who ought not to exist. He, Lucifer, however... was nothing if not perfect. He was strong, absolute, beautiful... so why did his Father prefer them to him?
Those vermin deserved none of his affections! And worst of all, no one protested about any of this. His siblings seemed to be perfectly content sharing their Father's love with unworthy creatures. But he would not stand for it. He would share his Father with no one, absolutely not.
So Lucifer did the only thing he could. He rebelled. But alas! That one mistake on his part sent his whole world crashing down. "You cross your limits, Lucifer" thundered God when confronted by his second eldest son. "Fie upon you Lucifer!" cried out Michael, the elder brother Lucifer had worshipped for so many centuries.
Michael was the one person Lucifer had looked to as a last resort. Whatever happened, he would not let Lucifer down. But no...he was wrong.. so wrong. It was Michael who pushed him into the hellfire, Michael who engineered over six hundred Seals to ensure that the younger brother who'd followed him for so many past years; could not escape from the Pit.
Lucifer felt so betrayed. He'd never expected Michael, of all his family, to do such a thing to him. So what if he'd created those black eyed, twisted humanoid creatures called demons? He was just getting his own back from his Father. What was so wrong in that? A few changes would teach those dirty humans a much needed lesson.
Lucifer had actually done Heaven a favour. He'd done his Father a favour, and here he was the one being punished. It was injustice, it was blasphemy, it was so wrong. He screamed, lashed out against the bonds holding him, but they only held tighter, no matter how much he struggled. So Lucifer burned.
And then, after Lucifer had rotted in the Pit so long he'd nearly forgotten who he was- Lilith, his faithful servant, Lilith started breaking the Seals Michael had so painstakingly created. Lilith was the first demon Lucifer had created, and he was considerably proud of her. He appreciated her sacrificing her life so that the last Seal was broken and he could walk free.
More than that, he was grateful to Ruby, another one of his daughters, for she was the one who instigated his vessel to break the final Seal. Ruby was neither as old as Lilith, nor as powerful, but she made up for it with all her loyalty and cunning, so cleverly deployed in freeing her Father, though of course, she died in the end. Lucifer reflected that it was tragic, but very necessary.
When Lucifer appeared on earth, he immediately embarked on finding a temporary vessel. It seemed that his real and true vessel had some issues regarding sharing his body.
After Lucifer had sweet talked an unsuspecting bereaved man into being his vessel, he set out to find Sam Winchester. His true vessel was an intriguing human. He visited Sam in his dreams and in his usual pleasant manner, neatly explained everything that had happened and that was going to happen. The boy vehemently opposed him, and refused point blank to say yes to being the vessel. But Lucifer knew that one day ultimately Sam would himself come forth and say yes, and that day was not far.
And it did happen, exactly the way Lucifer had predicted. There were little obstacles in the path naturally, and he dealt with all of them with a mere flick of his borrowed wrist, All, except one. Lucifer had foreseen enemies, but certainly not in the form of his younger brother Gabriel.
Everyone had thought that Gabriel had died long ago, but it was not so. Apparently, the youngest Archangel had gone into hiding, and then reappeared under the name Loki, a minor God, or the "Trickster".
Gabriel and Raphael had always stood by and watched while Lucifer and Michael argued. Raphael had been a fence sitter since time immemorial. He never said anything in favour or against any of the parties, just stood silent for as long as he could help.
But Gabriel went a step ahead of that. One fine day, Michael and Lucifer looked up from their heated argument to watch him walk out the door. "I'm tired of your bickering, guys" he said disgustedly. "Mike, Lucy, I suggest you two sort things out between yourselves. I'll return the day you two make peace." But they never had. They knew their baby brother to be a joker who never took anything seriously, and expected him to come back home in a few decades. He didn't. And then Lucifer went and rebelled, and was cast into the Pit.
He found it grotesquely funny now that the brother who shied away from taking stands, and always looked out for his own good; was now standing against him- all for a motley bunch of filthy cockroaches. But then the humour dissipated when he realized what he had to do. "Brother...don't make me do this" he pleaded, quiet grief colouring his voice.
But Gabriel was stubborn. He would not accept defeat, would not stand down and let his brother accomplish what he had come for. He'd waited, let Lucifer kill the other minor gods who opposed him, but when it came to Kali, Lucifer found his way blocked by none other than his baby brother. And he had to do the inevitable: kill his own brother, all over an unworthy minor goddess.
Lucifer didn't hesitate when it was time. Gabriel tried to trick him, of course he would, but Lucifer was after all his elder brother. He knew him inside out. He looked into Gabriel's eyes, they were wide with shock and pain as the Archangel blade passed neatly through him.
He watched as his brother's body crumpled and fell to the floor, lifeless, his beautiful dark wings tinged with smoke as they spread gracefully around him. Lucifer wept inside, cursing his luck, cursing himself, cursing his Father. Why, oh why did He make Lucifer take the toughest decisions? Why hadn't he ever had it easy? How much more did He think he could suffer before finally giving out?
The answer lay within him, of course. Lucifer supposed that great burdens were imposed only on those whose shoulders were capable enough to take them. Lucifer considered himself one such person. Now that Gabriel was dead, there was nothing more to be said or done about what he began to think of as the "regrettable incident". This was nothing, very soon Michael would be where Gabriel was too.
Somewhere inside him, guilt continued to nag at him. How now, Lucifer? Jeered his inner demon in a voice suspiciously like Gabriel's. Ate up your own little brother, did you? Who you going to gobble next? Michael? Tch. There is no limit to your greed, is there? Angrily, Lucifer pushed this out of Nick's head, which was his now. The feeble human barely ever protested, giving him full control over every faculty.
But the demon inside died out soon enough, as soon as Lucifer found out that the baby brother he'd felt so guilty for murdering; had, while alive, handed over to the Winchesters the one solution to throw Lucifer back into the Pit.
Fiery flames of rage rose up within him when he learnt that the humans were somehow succeeding in the hunt for the Horsemen rings, and had in fact managed to obtain two of them. But he had to make sure their victory didn't last too long.
When they came to the town where Lucifer planned to summon Death, he trapped the renegade angel Castiel, who was helping them in their futile quest; in a ring of holy fire. Then, one of his daughters, Meg, set a couple of Hell hounds on the group, and Lucifer was pleased to know that the two women accompanying the Winchesters had died.
What he was unhappy about was that though one of the females had died of Hound injuries, the other, who was her mother, had chosen to die alongside her. Lucifer bristled at this, how he disliked this sacrificial nature of humans, how he disliked the strength of their love. The truth was, Lucifer was afraid of love. He had not felt it in so many millennia, and when he thought he had before, the jealousy and rage bottled up in him had refused to let him feel any of it.
Then came the day he had to face his brother Michael, in a final kill-or-be-killed combat. Lucifer was triumphant, he had already entered Sam Winchester, with the boy's own permission just as had been predicted long before.
Of course, Sam was fighting away inside his head, trapped and wounded as he was, and Lucifer grudgingly admired the tenacity, the determination that pushed the boy on; but both knew it was no use, there was no way Sam could take control. The battle would go exactly as Lucifer willed it.
Dean Winchester had been Michael's true vessel, but since the boy was so adamant on refusing, the Archangel simply took Dean's half brother Adam, after having made false promises of bringing the poor boy's mother back. So it was that Lucifer finally met his brother after so many centuries. Hundreds of emotions raged within him at the familiar thrum of Michael's vibrant energy, of the otherworldly sheen he could just make out in his soul, of his sharp senses, of him, just him.
He had missed his brother very much. Now all he wanted to do was open his arms and clasp his brother in such a human gesture, that the mere thought of it was alien to Lucifer. But then came remembrance: of the betrayal, the accusations, the pain, oh the pain of having his favourite brother shut the door on his face while he begged and cried for mercy.
However, he let none of that show on his vessel's face, and instead challenged him to their last battle. But what was that- oh it was that nuisance Dean Winchester again, driving up in his car, playing vulgar music loud enough to burst every eardrum and interrupt a serious moment as such.
And then that fool Castiel arrived on the scene and threw a bottle of holy fire at Michael, who at once burst into red hot flames and vanished from the spot. Lucifer felt anger surge up in him. "Castiel" he snarled " Did you just Molotov my brother with Holy fire?" The angel backed away. "Uh...no." "No one dicks with Michael, but me" Lucifer snapped his fingers and Castiel exploded into a thousand tiny bits. Then Bobby, The Winchesters' surrogate father, went and tried to shoot Lucifer. He laughed internally, as if that was going to kill him.
Lucifer flicked his wrist and Bobby's neck snapped. He fell to the ground, dead. Lucifer revelled in the tortured scream Sam let out on seeing first his friend, then his father, fall.
Now only that brat, Dean Winchester was left, staring with horrified wide eyes, needless to say, aware of his approaching doom. Lucifer winced slightly as Sam intensified the mental attacks on him, and then with all his strength, pushed the weakening boy back inside. Please. Sam was begging now, in ragged, hitched tones. Do anything, but don't hurt Dean. Not Dean, please not Dean, PLEASE! Lucifer growled quietly and stepped forward, ignoring Sam's fervent pleas. He grabbed Dean by the collar and punched his jaw so hard it sent the boy reeling backwards. On and on he rained punches, ignoring Sam's keening and weak protests.
Then just as he was about to deliver the last blow to finish Dean off, the light from the surface of the Impala, on which they were leaning, suddenly caught his eye. All in one instant, Lucifer was ambushed by a series of sharp memories, bright and strong, warm and bold. Dean carving their names on to the car, inserting a toy block into the air conditioner so it rattled every time, prank wars, Dean hugging him close after almost losing him... no, not him, that was Sam, it was only Sam.
And when the memories had grown so powerful they burned him with their intensity, Lucifer was no longer in control. Now he was watching as Sam took over. He struggled helplessly as the boy used the Horsemen rings to open up the Pit again. Now Lucifer was afraid. He didn't want to go down there again, never, it held too much pain for him, it was too horrible, he couldn't take it.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Michael had returned and was trying to stop Sam from falling in, reasoning that he must let him and Lucifer fight their last battle. But Sam reached out while Michael was pulling him back, and sent them both crashing down into the overwhelming darkness of the Pit.
When he and Michael had recovered and become aware of their surroundings, they did the only thing they could to get back at Sam for dooming them both in this manner. They temporarily joined hands to torture the young human soul trapped alongside them in their cage. Very soon, the previously smooth, untouched exterior had been marred by burns and lacerations. For every gasp, every shriek that Sam let out, Michael and Lucifer felt a little, just a little better about their predicament.
Then, after what felt like centuries, Lucifer felt himself being pushed into Sam's soul, by an unseen force, by something that meant for him to escape the cage. And the next moment he found himself in Sam Winchester's body, standing on the pavement outside what Sam recognized as Dean's sometime girlfriend Lisa's house. He looked around, trying to sense, to determine what it was that had been powerful enough to raise him out of Hell.
Whatever it was, it hadn't taken the pains to release Michael, for if his brother had been on Earth, he would certainly have sensed it by now At first, looking on at Lisa's house and managing to spot Dean, Lucifer wanted to go and wreak havoc all over, lay the house of smiling inhabitants to waste. But then he decided against it and moved away.
He noticed that the younger Winchester was being very quiet inside his head. He began to wonder if the boy was still there. He was quite sure he had felt Sam's presence on arriving on earth.
He then realized that Sam was there, but the boy was very dazed and confused. A turmoil of emotions swept through him- they were Sam's reactions to everything that was happening. Slowly he was working through the past, and just as he was getting to the part where he had been tortured by Lucifer and Michael, the strangest thing happened.
Lucifer knew and understood the extent to which he and his brother had tormented Sam's soul. He couldn't even begin to imagine the excruciating pain Sam would experience when he got through to the memory of the torture. Irrational though it seemed, somehow, for some vague reason, Lucifer couldn't bear to bring this upon Sam. And so he built up a wall, a strong, cement hard wall with no cracks, no weaknesses, only pure solid strength.
Whatever happened now, he vowed to himself that he would never let that wall break down, never let Sam know just how much he had suffered down there in the Pit, for that very knowledge would poison him, bleed him dry, it would break him and that Lucifer couldn't bear to imagine.
Days went by and Sam stopped struggling, having realized how futile it all was. Besides he didn't want to even think of going back to Dean, firstly because that would mean putting Lisa and Ben in danger, and second, what was the point? Dean had learnt to live without his brother, and he was content with the life he led. Sam would never agree to ruin it.
Meanwhile Lucifer did not know what to do with himself. When he had found himself back on earth, his devious mind had already begun to make plans of destruction and defilation. But now...somehow he did not find the will to do anything of the sort.
The strange brotherly instinct to protect Sam had not left Lucifer yet, and it bothered him. Why should he feel like this for a mere human, when such feelings had not been inspired even while killing his own younger brother?
There was only one way to find out. He had to start understanding Sam's psychology. The boy, he discovered had a strange mind, insightful, yet so practical, so mature in thinking, yet so young. Lucifer observed that most of all, Sam's mind was in a very, very fragile state. Not once did it occur to the fallen Archangel that he could easily use Sam's condition to his advantage. All he could think was that the boy needed support, and gentle care which none other than Dean could provide.
So he tried to persuade Sam into revealing himself to Dean, but the boy was adamant on not going,. On no account would he step on Dean's happiness. The brother who had done so much for him all his life deserved at least that little from him. Surprisingly, Lucifer found that he and Sam were actually alike in that respect. Both idolized their elder brothers, loved them such that they would face death for them, if required.
Only Sam's brother had not betrayed him, therefore saving the younger Winchester from a lifetime of anger and resentment. Perhaps that was why Lucifer felt overwhelmed when he entered the part of Sam's consciousness which was still linked to Dean. The intensity of love, of devotion that Sam had for his brother, the memories, the thoughts...it made Lucifer's entire being ache.
Yet again he saluted Sam's spirit for the sacrifice he was making. No one could sense better than Lucifer the concealed pain Sam was feeling at being so very close to Dean, and yet knowing that he would never be able to reach out to his brother, never talk to him, never laugh with him again. Once, just once, Sam laughed quietly in the recesses of his mind, and Lucifer asked him curiously about the reason. Astonishingly, Sam answered.
Perhaps Sam's human nature had made him crave company of any sort, or perhaps the simple untainted curiosity in Lucifer's voice had made him willing to tell him about a certain childhood memory he had of Dean. It was amusing, it made Lucifer laugh too- he was surprised at himself. Humour was not something he was familiar with. It made him feel good, and made him want more even after its traces lingered in his mind. So he asked Sam to tell him about more good memories he had. Why? Was Sam's disturbing question. Why do you want to know about them? To hurt them more, I suppose.
Of course not! Lucifer was appalled, and for a moment tempted to reveal the wall he had constructed in Sam's head and let the boy know just how much he had done for him. But he could feel the emotions running through Sam's interior- insecurity, doubt, fear that Lucifer might somehow cause harm to his loved ones. Don't worry, Sam, he assured. I swear I won't hurt them. Look, he reasoned, we both have just each other for company, so why not share something interesting? I'd like to know you more. He felt Sam quietly trying to judge whether he was speaking the truth or not.
Finally the boy complied, and then very soon, it was Lucifer's turn to tell stories. And so he did. He told Sam about Gabriel's tricks in Heaven, Michael's loyalty, Raphael's standoffishness and the garrisons under his order. He spoke of cloudless blue skies, prettier than one could imagine, of turquoise pools, tranquil and still in their beauty, about the magic of Heaven and about his home. All night long, the fallen Archangel and the younger Winchester exchanged exciting stories of their lifetimes and experiences. When morning came, Lucifer was feeling more refreshed than he had felt in a long time.
Days went by, and the fallen Archangel grew even closer to the younger Winchester. He liked Sam's subtle sense of humour, he enjoyed the intelligent conversations they shared, the wonders of the not-so-worthless human world that Sam showed him, and the sense of freedom, of achievement he got in Sam's company. Lucifer discovered with no less amount of surprise that he had started to love Sam like his own younger brother.
He learnt so much with Sam. He found that he was doing anything and everything in his power to keep his new little brother happy. Lucifer preferred fast food, like a burger or two for dinner, but he rarely gave in to his heart's desire. Instead he stuck to healthy pastas and salads most days, because he knew what a health freak Sam was, always griping about calories and lack of exercise. Lucifer regularly took to teasing the boy about it, and Sam treated it all no differently than he would have with Dean. This pleased Lucifer.
He did notice that Sam clammed up slightly on the mention of Gabriel, but the next moment he was fine again, and Lucifer wondered if he was imagining things. Human minds were, after all, complicated. Lucifer did not want any more controversy. Now that he was stuck on earth, albeit with someone so wonderful for company, Lucifer just wanted to start a new life and earn an honest living.
But the thoughts of conquest, the desire for bloodlust, never left his mind. That was because settling down, doing a human job- these were all Sam's wishes, what Sam had always wanted to do. But Lucifer was after all, an Archangel. He had not been born to cow tow to other humans, but to rule them. He found quiet pleasure in torture, and revelled in warfare. Planning and plotting were part of his entity.
Lucifer did not want to lose Sam's respect by telling him all this, but at one point of time he knew he would have to. Now that they were friends, Lucifer was allowing Sam further and further into the vast recesses of his mind, though only little by little, so that the weak human would not be overwhelmed by its alien nature. And one day Sam did find out. He'd been feeling lonely after watching Dean laughing and living with Lisa and Ben, knowing that this was much more of a life his brother had enjoyed, and much more than he, Sam, could ever offer him.
Lucifer understood his feelings, and as he did lately, opened his mind for the young human to seek refuge in. If they had been in separate bodies, Lucifer would have hugged Sam or given him some form of physical comfort, but that was not possible, considering that they were in one body. So letting Sam into his head was like opening his arms to the boy. It was then that Sam took notice of the current of thoughts flowing in Lucifer's mind.
Lucifer was quick to try and explain. It's not like you think, Sammy, he said hastily. Don't call me that, snarled the younger Winchester. Too late, Lucifer remembered that only Dean had been allowed to call him by 'Sammy'. No one else. Try to understand, Sam, he tried again. I want us to rule the world together. It'll be good for you.
You're not my brother, said Sam harshly. And don't even try to be. Don't tell me what's good for me and what isn't. Every word hit Lucifer like a whiplash. Sam still didn't trust him. After everything Lucifer had tried to do for his sake, he still could not, and would never be able to take Dean's place as an elder brother in Sam's life. His heart- figuratively speaking of course- ached because no matter what Sam thought or felt, he had already managed to replace Michael for him.
For once Lucifer was tempted to reveal everything he had been hiding- about the wall he had built in Sam's head, about how he had tried to shield him, and the boy would forever be grateful to him. It was also true that Sam would then remember how Lucifer and Michael had tortured him in the Pit, but surely he would see how sorry Lucifer was about that, and how he was trying to make up in every way possible.
But then Lucifer realized that it was not Sam's gratitude that he wanted. He did not want Sam to feel indebted or dependent in any way. He did not want Sam to fall at his feet and plead mercy. He wanted to embrace him as a compassionate and caring brother, to look after him, to protect him all their lives. He wanted to achieve, to accomplish, to rule the universe, but that only with Sam at his side. As brothers, they would enjoy their claim on the world. It all seemed so right, so natural.
But Sam did not seem to agree. No! He yelled and pushed Lucifer away from him in one mighty shove. For a second, Lucifer was stunned. How had the weak human managed to do that? And then darkness caved in, blotting out every inch of Lucifer's mind.
Voices. Lucifer heard two voices, one almost known, and the other more familiar. "Sammy? Is that you?" called a man, his voice rough with emotion. Through his thickly veiled vision, Lucifer recognized Dean's face with surprise. "Yes, it's me, Dean" said the other. Why, it was Sam, it was his voice, speaking from his body, no-their body. Now that Lucifer was more conscious, he could see Dean's moss green eyes, shining with emotion, and a split second later, the older Winchester had pulled his younger brother into a fierce hug.
Sam's heart was singing. It had always bothered him that he hadn't a big, happy family like others, and saddened him after Jessica's death, but he certainly wasn't bothered about that now. He was with his brother again- what else did he need? His family was right here with him.
Lucifer felt left out. A stab of something close to jealousy pierced him. What right had Dean to own Sam's attention like that? Hadn't it been Lucifer, who had looked after Sam so carefully, so diligently after rising out of the Pit? Hadn't it been Lucifer who had lent a shoulder to Sam for crying upon? Hadn't it been Lucifer who had comforted Sam in the darkness, nursed him to good health, while Dean had been busy sowing wild oats?
All this time, it had been Lucifer who had been there for Sam. Dean had no right to come barging in like this and claiming his, Lucifer's brother so unceremoniously. But when he tried to reach out to Sam, he was nearly swept away by the waves of tumultuous happiness which had welled up in Sam's mind. Sam's thoughts drifted unknowingly towards him. I'm back with Dean. I don't have to hide anymore. Dean will make everything all right...
Lucifer seethed. Why, Sam was supposed to think like this about him! Oh, how good, how wonderful everything had been, one year ago, when Sam and he had just emerged from the Pit, when it was only their brotherhood that sustained them. Yes, there were instances when Sam missed Dean so much it broke Lucifer's heart as well. But Lucifer had been so sure, that given a little more time, he would have managed to erase all traces of that pain from Sam's heart, forever. After all, he loved his little brother much, much more than Dean did.
Lucifer's ability to love, and to love unconditionally, had always been his biggest strength as well as his most fatal weakness. He truly cared for Sam, loved him like a brother... just as he had loved his Father, like he had loved Michael. Just like he had refused, so long ago, to share his Father with human beings, now he steadfastly held on to the belief that Sam was his brother, and only his brother.
He refused to share Sam with anyone, and never, never with Dean Winchester. In his possessive rage, Lucifer overlooked so many things: how Dean had raised Sam, given so many years of his life to him, dedicated his entire existence to his brother with a devotion Lucifer couldn't even begin to appreciate. He saw only in his black fury how Dean Winchester was stealing everything he, Lucifer had worked so hard to accomplish. He did not try to see the truth: that Dean was just reclaiming the happiness which was rightfully his.
"I'm glad you're back, Sam" said Dean in a voice rough with unshed tears. Lucifer saw red. His vision flared and in his anger, he failed to realize that it was Sam who controlled his faculties right then. Sam is my brother, he snarled to himself, and suddenly a blinding white light filled his eyesight and he found himself sinking slowly away from consciousness. Blackness tugged at him with seductive fingers, and he lost himself again to it.
Just once, Lucifer, Sam requested again. Give it a chance. It had been a month since Sam had revealed himself to Dean. Lucifer could not help but notice, to his chagrin, that while Sam had been complacent, happy at the most in his presence, with Dean... it was different. With his elder brother by his side, Sam's spirit soared high in the azure skies again. Whatever had held his wings was now gone, and Sam's jubilance was not hidden from anyone.
Lucifer meanwhile had not been doing so well. Ever since the time Sam had, in his anger pushed him away from his mind, Lucifer had been experiencing blackouts again and again. The incident was long gone, and Sam had forgiven Lucifer for everything, but now he was trying to convince the fallen Archangel to agree to something he thought would heal Lucifer.
Look, it's worth a shot. What have we got to lose? Asked Sam. I don't know. My life, maybe? Replied Lucifer sarcastically. Sam sighed and Lucifer felt bad for being snappy. Sorry, Sam, he said. It's just that these breaks from reality are making me cranky. I actually feel nauseated, like I have a...headache.
It's like a hangover, isn't it? Said Sam sympathetically. It's all the more reason why you should try what I'm asking you to.
I don't know, Sam...
You don't trust me, Lucifer? There it went again. Lucifer cursed quietly. Sam sure knew how to get his way out of emotional blackmail. I really don't know, Lucifer tried to hedge. You know, Dean thinks you shouldn't try it either. Maybe you two are right. Funny that you should have something in common, huh? Laughed Sam.
Lucifer bristled. What! Sam said that he, Lucifer and that Dean Winchester actually shared a common opinion about something? Never. Fine. I'm ready to try your suggestion, said Lucifer haughtily. He did not hear the self satisfaction in Sam's voice when he replied, Good.
"Are you sure this will work?" asked Lucifer uncertainly flexing the fingers of his new body. The process of separation, that Sam and Dean had researched, had been extremely painful for both Lucifer and Sam, but it had worked. Sam was in control of both his body and mind now, He was the only identity within his body once more. Sam had always had too much of a conscience, and did not approve of the idea of a healthy, walking talking human body for Lucifer. Dean scoffed at his more considerate idea of using a comatose body instead. Lucifer thought it ridiculous as well, but never would he openly agree with Dean on anything. So he took the chance and entered twenty eight year old Stevie Miller's body.
He personally didn't think Stevie was his type. Stevie had been a chartered accountant before the car accident that damaged his brain, and now his entity-free head was full of useless figures and statistics that made Lucifer want to retch when he came across them. Knowing that Sam would love them, Lucifer called out loudly inside his new mind, and then remembered the cause of the desolate silence: Sam was in a different body.
Thankfully Stevie wasn't bad looking, and with some accessorizing, Lucifer managed to bring a semblance of charm to the boyish face he looked at every morning in the mirror. In a way the separation of bodies had made things simpler for them all. Sam could freely go around with Dean without someone else inside his brain tugging him in the opposite direction. But Lucifer couldn't bring himself to be happy for his little brother.
He hated the times when Sam took off with Dean for days altogether, leaving Lucifer clueless about his whereabouts. When it had been just Sam and Lucifer, they had settled down near the town where Dean lived with Lisa and Ben, but when Sam came back, Dean knew, with very little regret that his normal, apple pie life had come to an end. This spilled cold water on Lucifer's flaming hopes that Dean would be so angry with Sam for ruining his one attempt at a happy life, that he would ask him to leave. Then Sam, heartbroken, would come back to Lucifer, who would try his best to provide solace to him. Thus, everyone would be happy in the end.
But Dean did not order Sam away. He had had a lovely year with Lisa and Ben, and he loved them both, but something deep inside him had always nagged that this wasn't his life. He was a hunter, and hunting was in his blood. It was a legacy he could now continue, with Sam at his side once more. Lucifer almost screamed in rage when Dean stopped Sam from leaving, and instead ordered him to rejoin his brother on the hunt. Sam was more than happy to oblige, so happy that he did not notice Lucifer boiling up inside.
I must do something about this Dean, thought Lucifer, quietly beginning to scheme. Did you say something? Asked Sam suddenly. What? Oh, no, I just said I want to thank Dean for being supportive, lied Lucifer smoothly. Oh. He says you're welcome, said Sam happily. And nothing changed after the separation. Instead of thinking these words, Sam just said them and each time Lucifer was hurt at the euphoria in his voice, which only seemed to appear with Dean around. And life on earth went on.
One day, when Lucifer was just about to leave for work, his cell phone rang. It was Sam calling. For a moment, Lucifer was angry. Sam hadn't spoken to him for days. He had left for another road trip with Dean in his stupid Impala without telling Lucifer anything more. Lucifer was tempted to ignore the call. But what if his brother was in some sort of danger? Worry for Sam's safety made him pick up the call. "Lucifer?" called a frightened voice into his ear. A wave of panic hit Lucifer. Sam was in some sort of danger.
"Sam? What's wrong?" he said into the phone, fighting back the fear that was threatening to cut off his air supply. " I'm in a warehouse" Sam said, the terror never leaving his voice. He then mentioned an address Lucifer had not been to before, but knew the directions to. "I have to go, Lucifer" said Sam. "They're coming." And without another word, the line went dead.
Calm down, thought Lucifer to himself as he took his car out of the garage. Oh, how he wished Sam had not revealed himself to Dean! Then he would be safe now, for he would have been with Lucifer, and Lucifer would never have let anything harm his brother. Cursing Dean and his meddling ways, Lucifer started driving to the warehouse where Sam was being held.
Half an hour later, he barged into the dilapidated go down."Sam!" he cried out. "Where are you?" He wasn't afraid for a second. After all, what could hurt him? He was an Archangel. He was powerful. Nothing could conquer him. The sudden wall of flame that leapt up in a circle around him made him regret his thoughts. Holy fire. Who had done this?
"Nice of you to come, Lucifer" said a voice. It was familiar, too, too familiar.
Lucifer looked up, and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes widened in disbelief. Coming towards him with confidence as if he had engineered the pan all by himself, was none other than Sam Winchester. "Sam" Lucifer sighed in relief. "How did you get away? You said something about others? And who has trapped me in holy fire?" An almost evil smirk appeared on Sam's face. "Who? Me, of course." He said. "Who did you expect? And speaking of others..."
Lucifer looked around. Dean Winchester, the most insufferable human alive, had come to stand beside Sam. On his other side was... "Castiel" Lucifer breathed. The younger angel gave him a small smile. "Father brought me back, you see" he said. Oh. So the interfering rebel angel had been reborn. How typical of Father to show mercy on malcontents. And who was that next to him?
Sam noticed the direction Lucifer's eyes were in. "Yes" he affirmed. "God brought Cass back, and Cass in turn, resurrected Bobby." "Yeah, now hurry up and kill him, ya idjits " growled the grizzled surrogate father of the Winchester.
"Kill me?" exclaimed Lucifer. "What are you talking about? Why would anyone kill me? I will kill you, you worthless centipede!" Lucifer put his hand out and tried to channel his energy in Bobby's direction. A mere flick of his wrist, and that old fool's neck would snap like a dead twig. Then he would take care of the renegade angel, and of Dean Winchester.
But to his shock, nothing happened. The waves of energy he was sending out could not force themselves past the ring of fire. Lucifer tried again. And again. His powers remained useless against the orange flames surrounding him. "Not working, eh?" asked Sam and Lucifer looked up in hurt and bewilderment at Sam's refusal to move and improve his predicament.
"Help me, Sam" pleaded Lucifer. "Why are you standing and watching? What did they do to you? You're not yourself." At this, Sam laughed; loud and cruel. "Good grief" he said snidely, "the man thinks I'm not myself!" "Sammy is all right" said Dean, his green eyes glinting dangerously. "He's the one who planned all this." "No!" cried Lucifer."That's impossible. Sam would never, would you, Sam?" Sam's hazel eyes were cold as barren soil. "Yes, I would. And I did."
Lucifer felt like the ground had been pulled out from under him. Sam, and trap him like this? How could it be? "Why would you do this to your own brother, Sam?" he asked, hating the begging note that entered his voice. "Brother? What brother?" asked Sam incredulously. "You're no brother of mine. I've got only brother, and that's Dean." Dean nodded. "What he said."
"Sam, do it" urged Castiel in his gravelly voice. "Kill him and finish it off." Sam nodded, a man with a purpose, and strode towards Lucifer. "You're going to kill your own brother?" Lucifer's voice broke over the word "brother". "You should have thought about that before you killed Gabriel." Snarled Castiel in barely concealed fury. "Gabriel?" Lucifer stared. "What's he got to do with all this?"
"Sam...tell him" said Dean quietly. Sam walked into the circles around Lucifer. The flames danced even higher than before. "Gabriel helped us with the horsemen rings" he said. Lucifer was astonished. "I know that" he said. "So what of it?" This seemed to ignite a spark of anger in Sam. "What of it?" he shouted. "What do you mean 'what of it'? He was our friend, Lucifer, you get that? He tricked us and he trapped us and tormented us, but in the end all he did was help us! Dean and I, without Gabriel- we would be nothing today. He helped us when no one would, he made the prospects of something formidable seem good, he kept us going, he kept me going!" His voice ended in a broken whisper. "He was my brother, Goddamn it." Lucifer stood still in stunned silence. He knew his brother had helped the Winchesters with the keys to his cage, but never had he fathomed that there had been a deeper bond running unseen between Sam and Gabriel. And now Sam wanted to avenge Gabriel by killing Lucifer.
For once, the fallen Archangel was searching for words. "I... I'm s-sorry" he managed to stutter. "If I'd known-" Sam cut him off. "If you had known, what would you have done? Not killed him? That's unlikely, knowing your carnivorous nature. You're never satisfied, are you, Lucifer? You killed him, and then you killed Cass and Bobby, and tried to kill Dean. What can you say anymore?"
"I said I'm sorry, Sam" Lucifer protested. "I really am. I shouldn't have done all that, I know, but I had no choice. I was given no choice. And look, no damage's been done. Castiel is back, and so is Bobby. Dean and you are all right too. Everything's okay." "Everything's okay, is it?" demanded Sam through gritted teeth. His eyes flashed. "Everything? You mean, you can bring Gabriel back?" Lucifer sighed. "Sam, why does it come down to Gabriel? It was a mistake. I'm your brother, i-" "Shut up" said Sam in a hard voice. "You're not my brother. I hate you from the bottom of my heart. I always did."
Lucifer was dumbstruck. "Then... all those months... the past year... it was all a lie?" Sam shrugged. "Not initially" he said non-chalantly."Initially when I came back from the Pit, I was dazed. I was confused, and all I could think of was the suffering I'd goone through." Lucifer froze. The wall... "The wall didn't work, Lucifer" said Sam softly, as if he could read Lucifer's mind. "It never had. I always made you believe that I didn't remember. But I did. Every moment." Sam's eyes narrowed and for a moment, in the light of the fire, looked pitch black. "And I knew your intentions for Dean too. I know you wanted to kill him. And no one, no one tries to hurt my brother, certainly not you. But you tried, and now you're going to die for it."
Cold crept into Lucifer's veins and clenched itself around his heart, his human heart, so vulnerable, so exposed now. "I did it all for you, Sam" he whispered, his eyes full of pain. "I would never have tried to hurt you, especially after we came back from the Pit. All I ever wanted was to make you happy."
Sam shook his head, his face etched in hard, grief stricken lines. "I find that hard to believe" he said. "You killed Gabriel. You betrayed him. You tried to kill Dean. By doing that, you betrayed me. You did nothing for me, Lucifer, nothing."
How could Sam say such a thing? Lucifer had given him everything, and now he was turning against him? Ruthless anger and desperation made him do what he did nest. Lucifer gathered his energy, and sent a ball of electricity at Sam. The force of it would have disintegrated the human immediately, but it never reached Sam. The white mass crashed into something misty looking, but strong, inches away from Sam's chest. "Do it, Sam" panted Castiel, gasping from the effort it took to hold the shield in place.
Lucifer laughed harshly, despite the strain he was experiencing. All those months of friendliness had left him weak. "You want to fight me, Angel Cake? You know who I am, don't you? I can-" He never completed the sentence. Because the light from his energy had subsided, the shield had vaporised into curls of smoke, and a strangely sharp pain struck Lucifer.
Lucifer looked down in amazement at the gleaming Archangel blade protruding from his chest. Slowly he looked back at Sam, who held the hilt in his hand. "See? Even towards the end, you tried to betray me, Lucifer" he smiled bitterly. "It's a good thing I never trusted you." "Sa-am" gasped Lucifer, trying to grab the blade, but failing. "Don't try, Lucifer" warned Sam softly. "You know you deserved to be betrayed just like you betrayed so many others who loved you. Did you forget, what goes around comes back around?" And with that, he grasped the hilt tighter, and plunged it deeper into Lucifer's chest.
As he fell, Lucifer drifted into a strange, but comforting haze. Why? He wondered. Why had he done this? He had trusted, and trusted with all his heart: his Father, Michael, and then Sam. And again and again he had been betrayed. Even now, close to death, Lucifer did not see his fault. He did not see how he had hurt others,only how others had hurt him. He was too blind, too vain to assess himself, and that , along with the selfish nature of his undying love, was killing him now.
Lucifer felt agony pierce him as he looked up at Sam's face, twisted cruelly through the mist that fogged his mind. Lucifer had known humans were strange, twisted, complicated... and deceitful. And like a silly fool, he had gone and given his heart to the most deceitful one fo them all. As he lay dying, a human parallel crossed his mind. He knew now how Julius Caesar had felt, dying at the hands of Brutus, dying of heartbreak, rather than injury, at being betrayed by the one he loved most. The life ebbed out of Lucifer and the last thing he thought was, How ironical that Sam should turn out to be my Judas.
