Chelsea Louise Simner
Dusty Hearts
It felt
like so long since I'd seen him, my Jacob Black. I remember when I
was a child, and he would carry me on his back whilst I snuggled into
his deep fur, his touch keeping me warm in the cool air. His arms
would restrict so tight around my body that I was convinced I was
being crushed, but nobody was as careful with me as Jacob was. He had
changed lately, since my sixteenth birthday was coming up and
anticipated by my family. I knew it was hard for Jake, being around
vampires when he was a werewolf, but he always seemed to stick
around. Times have changed, though, and he seemed to pull away more,
visiting less after my father had had a quiet word with him a few
weeks before. I missed him, a lot.
Today is my sixteenth birthday,
and I'd earned the day off of school because of it. My mom promised
me that Jacob would come and visit me, but I wasn't counting on it.
I knew it was my father's fault for his lack of effort to see me,
but I also understood that in his mind, he was protecting me.
I
climbed out of my bed, and went to brush my teeth. I could hear
everyone downstairs, waiting for me, but there was no way I was going
anywhere unless I looked decent. After cleaning my teeth and washing
my face, I went back into the bedroom, only to get a big surprise.
Whilst in the bathroom, everyone had placed presents and gifts on my
bed, understanding that I took after my mother when it came to
birthday's, and wasn't overly keen on being pampered.
I eyed
the packages suspiciously, knowing exactly which one had been bought
by each member of my family. As I looked over the boxes, my eyes came
across someone I wasn't expecting. His presence made me jump, but a
stupid grin spread across my face quickly afterwards.
"Jake?"
I whispered, edging closer. He got to his feet, dressed in torn jeans
and a thin t-shirt. He'd changed since I last saw him. His black
hair had been cut again, cropped to the nape of his neck, and his
seemed bigger, somehow bulkier. Had he been working out?
I looked
up at his face last, grinning wider.
"Hey Ness" He smiled,
coming closer to me. My instincts took over and I did what I always
did with Jake; I ran to him. His arms caught me quickly, lifting me
off the ground. I wound my legs round his waist, and hugged myself
securely to his chest.
"I'm so glad you came, Jake," I
whispered, pulling him tighter, if it were possible. His lips pressed
against my forehead, and I felt him nod.
"Me too"
It was
only after catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror that I groaned
and pulled back.
"I look hideous" I grumbled, trying not to
meet his gaze. He walked over to me, and picked up a brush on the
way. Carefully as ever, he untangled my hair and smoothed it out
along my back. It felt nice to have him there, caring for me like
before he went away.
"Jake, can I ask something? I don't mean
to be rude or anything, I was just wondering about something I'd
overheard"
"You mean eavesdropped on. Go ahead" He told me,
a certain edge to his voice that I didn't like.
"Well, I
heard mom and dad talking about imprinting. Some kind of werewolf
thing, I was just wondering if you'd imprinted on anyone." I
asked, trying to keep my tone light. He didn't answer at first, but
kept brushing my now static hair. I waited for him to talk.
"Yes"
He answered huskily, not looking up from my back.
"Who?" I
pressed, wanting to know who'd stolen my Jacob's heart.
He
looked up at me, his eyes torn on whether or not to tell me. "It
doesn't matter Ness, I'll leave so you can get dressed."
"Jake, your my best friend, I've seen you get dressed before,
as you have with me. Stop being a wimp and grab my white sweatshirt
will you?"
He obeyed, and handed me my t-shirt. I pulled off my
night top, and replaced it with my new outfit. Jacob seemed awkward
and quiet.
"What's up Jake?" I asked, but he remained
quiet. I walked over to him, eager to know why he was so withdrawn
lately. "Have I done something wrong? You're hardly ever here
anymore, and I don't know if I've done something wrong or if it
was my dad or –"
He cut me off by putting his finger to my
lips. I stared up into his dark eyes.
"It's you" He said to
me, calm as a summer's day.
"What have I done?" I asked,
immediately going over the past in my head. I couldn't think of
anything or was it that I was just a horrible person for him to be
around? I debated this, and he could tell I was getting distressed.
"You haven't done anything wrong Renesmee," He drew a deep,
sharp breath before he spoke again. "I have imprinted. I thought it
was your mother at first, but I turned out to be so wrong. The only
reason I was so drawn to her was because of you,"
"Oh," I
murmured, looking down at his feet. They were larger than before.
"I'm sorry, but you asked me and I told you the truth. I only
want to be here Ness, to care for you like I always have, be the big
brother you never had, but now you're getting older, it's harder
to think of you as my little sister anymore."
It was hard,
absorbing this information, but I did it anyway. I couldn't
understand how I never saw this coming. His words ran over and over
again in my head. "The only reason I was so drawn to her was
because of you." My heart began to ache.
When I finally
looked up, he was staring down at me. I could almost feel his gaze
rip through me.
"What does this mean?" I asked, "Does it
mean your going to go away again? If you can't see me how you used
to, how can you bare to be around me?" I was so confused as to what
was going on that I began to cry.
"Ah Ness, don't cry. C'mon,
I won't go away if you don't want me to, I won't let it change
anything, I promise" I knew he was trying to soothe me, but I still
continued to sob quietly.
"But you said you don't see me how
you used to, what does that mean?!" Anger began to bubble up inside
of me, purely because I couldn't figure out what the hell was going
on.
"It means that," –It was obvious he felt awkward saying
what ever he wanted to say, because he kept pausing and looking away-
"that I don't feel how I used to, I don't feel like your big
brother anymore Ness, I feel like I should be...like I should be your
lover."
I heard the break on the last word, as he looked away. I
didn't know what to do with this information, what I was supposed
to do with it. His large fingers wiped my tears away and my eyes
closed in contentment. I felt his lips press to my forehead, before
he whispered in my ear, "I'm in love with you Renesmee Cullen,
I'll always be watching over you, always. It's okay that you
don't feel the same, I can live with that, just be happy. Happy
birthday Ness," I wanted to scream out, to tell him to shut up and
let me talk, but he was gone. The curtains on my window blew in the
wind, and I saw his figure run into the trees. I turned to be faced
by a lot of presents. This was not what I needed right now. One
present seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. There was small box,
separated from the rest of the gifts, sitting at the end of my bed.
It was wrapped up in silver wrapping paper, with a small note
attached.
It read,
for you, Renesmee, the only one I ever
wanted. I wish there was an easier way to do this, but, here goes. I
love you Ness, always have and always will.
Jacob x I
sighed. It was the only reaction that seemed feasible to me. I could
imagine him, writing the note and taking forever to think of the
right thing to say. I just wished that I could make it easier for
him.
I eased the paper off of the box, and ran my fingers over
the satin cover before I even thought about opening it. Finally
plucking up the courage to do so, I pinched the lid open. Inside,
laid a beautiful necklace, with a small oval pendant lying
weightlessly at the bottom. There was a small inscription on the
pendant, a quote from my favourite film, "I'll never let go, J x"
I set the box down on the bedside table and continued to get dressed.
I tied my hair neatly up in a ponytail, and then put the necklace on.
It seemed to weigh a tonne.
After sucking in a deep breath, I
walked downstairs. Alice was the first to greet me, trying to act
nonchalant but I knew she'd overheard every word. My mother was the
next to come over, hugging me and wishing me a happy birthday. I took
all of their words in, but only Jacob's birthday wish seemed to
stay with me. I forced a smile, as did my family, but I knew they
were as distressed as I was. My mother took me outside, walking
beside me with an awkward look filling her eyes.
"You heard,
didn't you?" I said, more a statement than a question.
"Yes
honey," She answered after a moment's silence. "Look, Jacob's
a good guy. We knew he'd imprinted on you since you were a baby,
but there was nothing we could do but deal with it. That's what you
have to do honey, you have to deal with it. Whether you feel the same
or not,"
"What do I do mom? I'm so confused, one minute he's
my best friend, the next he'd telling me he's in love with me"
It must've been hard for her, because even I could hear the sadness
in my voice.
"Do you love him Nessie?" She asked suddenly,
and it hit me like a brick wall. It took me a moment to think, "Yes,"
"But are you in love with him?" She asked soon after,
"I don't know what that feels like mom, all I know is that
when he's around, I feel so safe, and happy, I just want him there
forever" I whispered, and my mom began to smile,
"Sounds to
me like your in love with him, sweetheart."
This should have
come as a shock to me, but it didn't because I guess I'd known
all along. He was my Jacob; he was everywhere, all the time. When he
was sad, I was sad, when he was happy, I was happy. Everything seemed
clear to me now, I was in love with him, and I needed to tell him.
I
got my cell phone out and dialled his number; it rang four times
before he picked up.
"Nessie," He whispered into the phone,
and I answered with a smile.
"It's me Jake," I assured him,
"Can you come over please?" I asked, and his answer was a yes. I
ran inside the house, and up to my bedroom to get changed, because
for some reason, I felt like he deserved a pretty girl to greet him
at the door. The door knocked about 10 minutes later, and I ran to
answer it. The first thing I did was hug him, so tight I thought I
was cutting the circulation off in my body. His arms wound around my
waist, and although I knew we had an audience, I still knotted my
fingers in his hair and pressed my lips to his.
His lips burned
against mine, but the heat made no difference. His hand slid up my
side, drawing me closer as my body bowed against his. I smiled, and
pushed him out the door, closing our audience off from the show. My
lips met his again, as his fingers lingered over my skin. I shivered
as a chill ran through my spine, but it wasn't from the cold. His
lips forced mine open, and I felt the rush of heat fill my mouth. It
felt amazing to have such a connection with somebody, such a
relationship that we didn't have to be careful with each other. I
broke off for air, but not once did his lips leave my skin, instead,
he kissed along my jaw and down my neck.
"I love you, Jacob"
I whispered, my eyes closing.
"I know" He replied, breaking
the connection of lips against my skin. I stood up straight, looking
into his eyes.
"This is so weird," I giggled, "Is being in
love supposed to feel such...such a high?" I asked, and he chuckled
darkly,
"I'm as new to this as you are" He told me, smiling
all the time. His hand found mine, and intertwined our fingers
together. He kissed the top of my hand, and led me back inside, to
face my family.
