Lincoln didn't want me to risk it, but I had to. I had to pay my final respect. Say goodbye, say thank you. And ask the question I didn't want to know the answer to. My disguise would have been amusing to me if the circumstances were different. Instead it merely buys me the opportunity to say a final goodbye.

I approach your grave with trepidation. Your tombstone is perfect – too perfect. Flowers still adorn your grave. Along with pictures of you – smiling, happy. Did I take that smile away Sara? Is it my fault you are here?

I never told you how much I care for you. Didn't realize how much I loved you until now. But, now that I'm here I have to set the record straight. Tell you what I should have told you a long time ago.

"Sara, I ..." The words stick in my throat, but I have to continue. Have to get them out. Somehow. "Sara, I am so sorry". The tears start to fall. Tears that I have been holding back ever since I heard the news. I couldn't cry in front of Lincoln. He feels bad enough as it is. But now I don't have to pretend anymore.

"I never knew Sara. Dammit, if I had known you would do this I would never have asked for your help. I loved you. I really loved you. It wasn't an act. I did care for you. And I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I'm so sorry that it ended this way.

I wish I could take it all back. The lies. The betrayal. I wish I had a chance at a clean slate with you. That we could talk, just talk. I wanted to tell you this, but you never gave me the chance: They framed my brother Sara. And it's my fault that he ended up in jail. I screwed up. He asked for my help and I ignored him. That's why he was in there. I let him down. I couldn't just leave him there; allow them to kill him knowing that he was innocent. I couldn't let him pay for my mistakes. That's why I did what I did. I'm not a bad man, just a man that judged a little too quickly. A man that condemned my brother without having the facts. A man that wanted to undo what he did wrong.

But in the process I made more mistakes. I didn't think that I would fall for you. I didn't count on Pope being a father to me and to Lincoln. It kills me that I had to betray you. After everything that you did for me and Lincoln, I let you down. You and Pope. He may be angry (and rightfully so), but at least he's not dead.

I wish that you could know how truly sorry I am. I wish that I could make it up to you. Bring you back. Love you, the way I have always wanted to love you. Hold you in my arms. Kiss you. Run my fingers through your hair. Share broken dreams and create new ones - together. I hope that someday you will forgive me. Smile down upon me from where you are now. I love you Sara. Please know that. Please believe that."

I place the red origami flower on your grave. A sign of love. A plea for forgiveness and a symbol of defeat. I turn and walk away. Praying for forgiveness and understanding from the woman I love.