UNDYING PIE 2
No. No, your eyes are not deceiving you. The sequel to Undying Pie is here!
As the WRH fics are all adjacent, I decided I would write Undying Pie 2 adjacent to my current FFVIII story: Squall And Rinoa Try To Implode Zell's Room!
So, where did we leave off? Well, the Sephiroth Fan Club kidnapped Aeris and tied her to a lightning rod tower in the middle of the Undying Storm! As you know, Sephiroth came and saved Aeris. As they were leaving, though, the Professors Hojo, Weetos, Odine, Ross and Frink were having a Jenova-specimen creation session with Cloud's corpse, which backfired and sent little Cloud-ness all around Midgar. OH GOD! THAT CANNOT BE GOOD!
New spelling of Barret! ONE T!
Anyway... TTFN!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own FF. Live with it.
DEDICATED TO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE WHO LEFT KIND REVIEWS FOR UNDYING PIE 1:
BrokenAngel13 (Whenever Tidus speaks, hammer the mute button!)
Tishannia (Luff him? We ALL luff Yazoo!)
Tinoa Garuna (The Leopluradon rocks her world! This is the other half of the Auron dedication. You get 2! YAY!)
Killer Chocobo (THEY DON'T EAT ANY CHOCOLATE!)
Phoenix Helix (Who reminds us that 'ix' is still a great suffix!)
Subtle Illusions ('But I'm supposed to make you suffer!')
Indigo Angel (ANGELS ARE ASKING ME QUESTIONS! I am still in lé SHOCKE!)
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CHAPTER ONE - THE WAY THE CLOUD-SPIRIT COOKIE CRUMBLES
When we left off, Aeris and Sephiroth were leaving the Shinra HQ after having an argument leading to Aeris living for about 10 minutes with the SHM in a tent at the save point in the back yard, until she got kidnapped by the Sephiroth Fan Club who threatened to kill her by harnessing the power of a lightning rod tower in the Undying Storm and shocking her with it; their plan was fortunately foiled, but then a debate of Professors using Cloud's corpse as a Jenova specimen created an explosion and THAT'S where we left off! Longest sentence ever! XD
So, they were... ... ...
...FALLING! THE BUILDING WAS COLLAPSING! ARGH!
Now, I know Aeris and Sephiroth are invincible for numerous humorous (hahah that rhymes!) reasons, but STILL - COLLAPSING BUILDING!
So, what did they do? Well, thinking pretty quickly, Sephiroth grabbed Aeris and JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW! ARGH! Like... 60 something'th floor! But, it's okay! We all know he can fly! Yuna can't fly, but hell, Sephiroth CAN! He whipped out the one wing and hovered down AAAALLLLLLL the way to saftey! YAY!
"Phewf..." Aeris said. "Well, looks like the storm's stopped. And it was UNDYING!"
"Yeah, but this doesn't really make much sense... Why did the building suddenly collapse? And what about that weird noise you heard?" Sephiroth asked.
"Hey, look! It's Vincent!" She replied, pointing. "Maybe HE knows!"
Because, let's face it, Vincent knows ALOT.
"Hey! Hey! Vincent!" She yelled, waving.
Vincent walked slowly up to them. I feel sorry for Vincent because I only mentioned him in the last Undying Pie, I didn't put him in, so here he is! In the FIRST chapter!
"Vincent...?" Aeris said slowly. "A-Are you alright? You have such a strange look on your face..."
"The moon!" Vincent panicked. "HE'S CHASING ME!"
He directed his claw to point at the big moon in the sky.
"EVERYWHERE I GO, THERE HE IS!" He shouted.
Aeris and Sephiroth stood still, blinking at him.
"KNOCK IT OFF, MOON!"
The claw then became a shaking fist.
"I'm coming UP THERE!"
Then, he ran off screaming his head off.
"Oookkkaaayyy... What just happened?" Sephiroth asked.
"I have NO idea." Aeris said, with that gormless Anime face.
"Let's just go back home."
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Back at home... Ahem... Nothing of GREAT interest was going on. So, let's go to the next morning! FAST-FORWARD! CAN I GET A RRREEEEEEEEEWIND?
Ahem... No... I wanted a FAST-FORWARD!
The doorbell rang! HURRAH!
"I'll get it..." Sephiroth said, since he was stood... RIGHT NEXT to the door! RIGHT NEXT TO IT! Why? I dunno! We'll never know what goes on in his mind. He has been traumatised due to his horrible past and Aeris leaving him and the realisation that he put panties next to his face... Urgh.
He opened it, and Tifa was trod there! YAY! But she wasn't all Gothic... She was... Normal...
"Candy bars..." She mumbled.
"What?" He asked.
"Hmm...? Oh, nothing. I'm just here to say YOU NEED TO SEE THIS - NOW!"
Aeris poked her head around the door.
"Uh, I overheard..." She said slowly, inferring 'HOW COULD I NOT HEAR?'
"You have to come RIGHT now!" Tifa said.
So, they followed Tifa to...
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...THE 7TH HEAVEN! YAY!
"You see..." Tifa explained once they were inside. "Everything's gone weird since the storm yesterday, and, well, guess who got revived in the process..."
Cloud suddenly jumped down from nowhere, like he was Vincent, but we all know he isn't.
"Hey, Aeris!" He said. "Hey Sep-- OMGZORZ! IT'S SEPHIROTH! ATTTAAACCCCKKKKK!"
He launched an attack at Sephiroth, but he just moved out of the way and allowed that silly Cloudo to crash into the wall!
"OWCH!"
"So, why're you alive, Cloud?" Aeris asked. But that's sure the pot calling the kettle black... She's one to talk... AHEM... WHATEVER!
"Oh, me?" Cloud asked, springing right back out of the wall. "I'm not! This body's just a spirit body!"
"What do you mean 'spirit'?"
"Well, I guess I'm just a collection of my thoughts stuck back together. Like Tidus!"
"Oh..."
"Who's Tidus?" Sephiroth asked.
"Uh, it's not important..." Cloud replied. "So, anyways, why are you guys hanging around together? Seems a bit weird. If this wasn't AU then--"
"Uh...Hehehe...! Cloud!" Tifa said. "THAT'S not important! Why don't we just--"
"HE MARRIED HER!" Elmyra yelled, flying through the window in suicidal mode. Fortunately (but unfortunately for her), Barret had put that 'Invincible'ness on her before she did so, and she was unscarred.
"AERIS? IS THIS CRAZY FLYING MOTHER OF YOUR'S SPEAKING THE TRUTH?" Cloud exclaimed.
Aeris reluctantly nodded. Sephiroth shifted uneasily.
"Excuse me..." Cloud said, and then... Walked slowly into the bathroom and puked into the toilet.
Tifa shut the bathroom door to silence the puking noises... Slightly.
"Well, anyway, since Cloud came back, everything in Midgar has adjusted to his mind! I'm back to normal, see?" She said, and if you're bothered she was in her AC gear.
"Really? Everything?" Aeris asked. "So, how come Sephiroth and I aren't affected?"
"Hmm... That's a good question... Barret and Elmyra seem... Umm... Normal, too!"
Elmyra stood up, and dusted herself off.
"Well, that's because we were outside Midgar!" She said. "We weren't affected!"
"But we were in the range..." Aeris said, looking slightly puzzled.
"What if we weren't?" Sephiroth suggested, since he figured they... Weren't... "It might have occurred in the Shinra building, whilst we were above the level it what ever was going on was... Going on..."
"Actually... That makes sense." She said, since... IT DID, OKAY?
"That's not all, though." Tifa continued. "Cloud's beginning to talk about taking over the world!"
Everyone paused... ... ...
"...Well, he IS!" Tifa yelled with her hand son her hips.
Suddenly, Barret ran in.
"GIT OUT HERE, FOOLS!" He shouted. "CLOUD'S RUNNIN' AROUND LIKE A SPIKEY PSYCHOPATH!"
"But, he's in the..." Tifa said, opening the bathroom door to only see there was no one in there and the window was wide open. "...Bathroom..."
So, they all ran outside. Who was running around like a maniac but... ...NO ONE!
"Huh? Where the hell's Cloud gone?" Barret yelled.
"We've gotta split up and look for him!" Exclaimed Tifa, worried about the consequences of letting the undead spirit of Cloud run around all of Midgar trying to find a way to take over the world. "Let's use the PHS to call the others!"
The OTHERS! GASP! NO! THEY TOOK THE CHILDREN! DHARMA! 4, 8, 16, AND ALL THOSE OTHER CRAZY LOST... ...THINGS!
No, the others meant Red XIII, Cait Sith, Cid, Vincent and Yuffie. Who were all in range! EEPS!
They came quickly. The PHS works like that. WOOHOOZORZ!
"I like tigers..." Red said quietly.
"What?" Everyone else asked.
"Nothing." He replied. "Anyway, we need to find Cloud, or, at least, that's what you told me, Tifa. You have a tendency to lie."
"No I don't!" Said Tifa angrily.
"Jes shuttup and pay attention!" Barret roared.
Everyone was silent.
"Okay, let's sort the teams." He said. "Tifa and Cait Sith, you look around Sectors 6, 7 and 8."
"Right." Tifa said, and then she grabbed Cait Sith and ran off to search.
"Cid and Elm-- Hey, where'd Elmyra go?"
Everyone looked around. She had just plain WALKED OFF! ARGH!
"O...Kay... Cid and Yuffie, you look in Sectors 3, 4 and 5."
"Oh JOY! Let's go, Uncle Cid!" Yuffie said, jumping around.
"$£&..." Cid mumbled, and then followed her off towards Sectors 3, 4 and 5.
"Red, you can go with Aeris and Sephiroth to Sectors 1 and 2, and Vincent you can go with me to the Top Plate! BREAK!"
So, everyone had broken into their teams to search for that crazy Cloudo. But, little did they know he was at the pile of rubble that was...
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THE SHINRA HQ!
"Aeris... How could you...?" He asked himself. "No! NO! IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT! Sephiroth FORCED you into it, didn't he? Well, I'll save you! I'll show the world that I can save you! And we can RULE this world - FOR ALL ETERNITY!"
He laughed manically, as the sky began to get stormy again for some reason, and out of the rubble came a strange glow.
"I will construct the ultimate weapon of destruction and claim this world as my own! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!"
Uh-oh... What's Cloud thinking? He can't be an evil maniac! That's Sephiroth's job!
And alluva sudden, the corpses of the SFC arose and walked slowly towards him.
"FAN GIRLS! I WILL MERGE THESE FAN GIRLS TOGETHER TO CREATE THE--"
"SHUT YOUR GOB!" Someone yelled, and threw a rock at Cloud's head.
"OWCH!" He said, over a few snorts of laughter. "THINK THIS IS FUNNY, HUH?"
He then brandished his big sword and ran at the group of people angrily. After they had run a fair distance away, he returned.
"Ahem... MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
BASS IT!
So now CLOUD'S the bad guy? What ever next?
FAQ! Leave a question, if you please! I LOVE questions! I have an answer for almost ANYTHING! Also, improvements, explanations, etc - All in your review, please!
So, I hope you enjoyed Chapter 1 of Undying Pie 2, and stay tuned for more!
TTFN!
