Finding My Strength
Chapter One
New Girl
Late again! Why am I always late? Yui's feet pounded over the pavement as she raced alongside the road that was littered with early morning traffic. Her eyes scanned the area for anyone bearing the same uniform as her, but she knew that only she could be this late.
"Yui, hurry!" Ui had begged outside of her bedroom door only minutes before. "At least tell me you're up!"
Ui would have been disappointed if she had opened the door and seen her sister. Yui was still snuggled in her blankets, her face buried into her pillow, still as lazy as she had been since she was three. She ignored the calls and the hammering fists on her door until arm jerked against Gitah. The string rung a resounding hum, and her eyes shot open.
"The music club!" she cried out, bolting up as though she had been shocked with electricity. "They need me!"
Ui's confusion seeped through the door. "That's right, so come out here and eat!"
"No time!" Yui threw on her school clothes, tripping this way and that as she also tried to gather her school books at the same time. Her pants had not been pulled up properly and she tripped on the hems to land flat on her face with Gitah clutched in her hand. "Ui... help me!"
Her sister burst into the room, alert and ready to face a disaster. She saw Yui lying on the floor with her arms and legs flailing helplessly in an attempt to right herself. Sighing, the younger yet responsible sister caught her arms and yanked her up.
"Thanks Ui," Yui gasped as she sped around her with her beg trailing along the ground from the strap. Yui dashed through the bathroom in a minute long circuit, then sped to the kitchen where she yanked up a bowel of cereal that had been waiting for her for over an hour. Taking a deep breath, she began to drink it down.
"Yui, no!" Ui caught her arm just as she began to choke and gave her back a hammering to dislodge the food. It came up all over the table, and Yui slumped over the chair.
"Yui?"
Still holding onto her dear Gitah, Yui staggered back to her feet. "Thanks Ui, I owe you my life," she breathed dramatically as she clapped a hand over her sister's shoulder.
Ui caught her hand and dragged her towards the door, shoving a packed lunch into her incapable hands. "Save me later. For now, get to school!" It was like this every morning; it all started off slow, then as soon as Yui remembered about her beloved club's teatime, she was like a rocket.
Yui stepped out of the door, but at the last moment she caught the door frame and turned back inside. Her eyebrow was raised. "What about you?" she asked, zipping Gitah into it's instrument bag as she watched her sister.
Ui shook her head and pushed her sister further out of the house. "My hand still hurts from last night. I already called my teachers and they told me not to bother coming in, now go! If you hurry and make it to your first lesson, I'll have a nice ice cream cake for after dinner, okay?" She was almost begging.
This was the inspiration Yui had been waiting for. She clapped her hands together, her eyes blazing with purpose. "Right! Let's do this!"
Now here she was, speeding towards the school with her thoughts both focused on how vulnerable she was when it came to food, and how unreliable she was when it came to arriving on time. Nevertheless, she now had a better reason to make it on time. She glanced down at her watch. She had ten minutes until her first class, and the school was still not in sight.
"Damn Ui's hands! I curse you!" she shouted to the wind, wishing it was her that had burnt her hands cooking dinner instead of her sister. Not only would she be able to avoid school, but she would also be treated to more treats every hour in hopes of recovering by Ui.
Never mind that, she thought to herself as she rounded a corner. I'm almost there! Almost-. Her mind cut off all her beloved Gitah swung forward on her back and smacked her in the back of the head. She fell to her face just like she had that morning, the hard cement scraping her hands and her knees.
For moments she thought she was dead, unable to move. A light rain began to fall, the world spitting on her in this moment of turmoil. With the last of her strength she turned to face Gitah that lay beside her, the strap torn. "Why, Gitah? Why?"
Of course, this wasn't the end of Yui. The ice cream cake meant too much for her. She pulled herself slowly to her feet, her burning hand gripping Gitah and throwing it back over her shoulder. She tried to ignore her mortal injuries, the skin scraped on her knees and palms, and looked up to see the school just as she heard the final bell before the lessons ring. Images of the cake fading away fed her the courage she needed and she ran.
Kita was terrified. There was no other word for it. She stood at the sink in the girl's bathrooms, staring at her pale, shaking form in the mirror. For the fifth time that morning she asked herself the question: "Why am I here?"
Students filed in and out of the bathroom, checking their appearance in the mirrors or simply going fulfilling their 'personal needs'. Most of them stared at her, some of them asked if she was alright, and the rest of them ignored her completely. Either way she was silent, waving everyone who approached away. She was afraid that if she spoke, she would either vomit or burst into tears.
Now the first lesson was about to start, and the room was empty. She leaned down in the sink, ready to release her breakfast as the knot in her stomach tightened. Her hands gripped the edge tightly, turning her knuckles white.
Kita was a new student, exchanged from another school to be closer to her hospital-bound mother. Despite being glad to spend her afternoons with her seriously ill mum, Kita couldn't fight off the nerves of stepping into a new school and found herself wishing she was still attending her old academy with her old friends and her old lessons. Now she knew no one, had no idea where any of her lessons were, and was helplessly ignorant to everything inside of these walls. She had already been shown around briefly by the principle some time before, but it simply was not enough. She was already lost amongst the many halls and stairways, and surprised herself at finding the bathroom when she had felt she needed it the most.
It had been some time since the students had left to head to their lessons early before the bell rang. At least she knew when she would be officially late. Sighing, she lifted her head in the solitary silence and stared at herself. She was nothing special. Long, dark brown hair waving around her face in untamed curls, a thin, wiry body protruding from the tight uniform. She continually dragged her skirt lower to hide the wobbling in her knees and leave her with some comfort that the last bare piece of her was covered. Her eyes were a washout blue, her nose pointed and her cheeks bright pink against the white. She looked as ill as she felt.
The door to the bathroom was thrown open, and Kita's head jerked up in surprise to see another girl stumble in. She caught the edge of the door and doubled over. Her entire body shook as she gasped for air. As she lifted her head Kita saw that her face was bright red and covered in sweat, but she was smiling.
"Finally, I made it!" the girl gasped, clutching at a stitch in her side. Still her smile didn't fade. "Now I get ice cream cake! I'll just message Ui and..." she trailed off as she realise Kita was inside as well, leaning heavily over a sink and looking as though she were about to collapse to the tiles.
For a moment there was an awkward silence, both girls staring at each other. Kita felt conscious about how she must have looked and leaned even further over the sink as a wave of nausea rose inside of her.
The girl took a step closer to her. "Are you alright?" She reached out to take the Kita's arm, wanting to hold her up before she fell.
Kita nodded her head lightly and forced a weak smile onto her face. "Y-yeah, I'm just a little nervous is all." She turned away a little, trying to lose this student's interest.
"Nervous?" The girl came even closer, peering at Kita carefully. "It must be something huge if you're freaking out like this! Wait... come to think of it, I haven't seen you around before." The girl her a thumb pressed to her chin as she thought of all of the familiar faces in the school.
"Yes, I'm new here," Kita said, wanting nothing more to do with this stranger. As desperate as she was for a friend in a new place, her shy personality took over and she wished she were alone. Perhaps she could spend the entire day in here? That is, if this girl didn't drag her to see the school nurse.
The girl held out her hand to Kita, momentarily forgetting that she was about to have a nervous breakdown. "My name's Yui!"
"Kita." Kita took her hand and shook it lightly, subconsciously taking a step back. She didn't want comfort or pity. She wanted to leave this place and never come back. The urge was like an itch, and she knew that she was good at running away from things.
Yui saw the fear in Kita's eyes and reached out again. Like a frightened animal, Kita shied away from the touch. "It's okay," Yui said, letting her hand fall.
"No," Kita gasped, her eyes seeking the door. "I... I'm sorry." She ran for the door before Yui could stop her and disappeared out into the hall.
Yui never forgot where the Light Music Room was despite her memory always failing her. The music wafted down the stairs and led her like the smell of Ui's cooking. She followed it to the familiar door where the sound welcomed her in it's loud embrace.
Yui paused at the door, her hand hovering over the handle. All day her mind had been on the new girl, Kita. She couldn't even begin to understand what she felt, but she had looked so frightened in the bathroom. It was enough to force the thoughts of ice cream cake out of Yui's mind... for at least a little while.
The end of the day had been precious to her as it always was. Music cleared her head of everything, and she would rely on it today. However, she had never been one to ignore another's turmoil. Despite barely knowing Kita, she didn't want her to be alone. Perhaps the others know more about her.
"Yui, are you coming in or not?"
Ritsu's voice called out from inside, and Yui opened the door to find the rest of the girls sitting at the table, snacking on Mugi's usual assortment of cakes and chocolates.
"How did you know I was there?" Yui asked as she pulled Gitah from her back.
Ritsu snorted into her tea. "Do you have any idea how big your head is? We could see it in the little glass window."
Yui pouted and pretended that the insult had cut her deep. "Ricchan, you bully!"
As usual, Mugi aimed to lighten the situation with food. She lifted a forkful of cake into the air, holding it out to Yui. "Calm down, Yui, and come and eat with us."
The mouthwatering sight was too much for Yui to resist. She hurried over and grasped the fork, shoving the piece of cake into her mouth. Immediately the purpose of her life was met, and she sank to her knees in happiness. Slowly, she lifted the fork. "More?" she begged.
Smiling, Mugi stuck another piece of cake onto the end of the fork and watched contently as Yui chewed on it, her eyes bright and her cheeks puffed out in a giddy grin.
Mio rolled her eyes at the sight. "You really are incapable of everything, aren't you, Yui?"
Yui wasn't listening. She was a puddle on the ground, hugging herself as she savoured the flavours of Mugi's feast.
Azusa watched her closely from her chair, the only one seeming concerned as Yui seemed to drift into another world completely. "Is she alright?"
"She'll be fine as long as she receives a dose of cake every ten minutes," Ritsu answered as she threw a small square of cake towards Yui whom caught it expertly with the fork.
Mio shook her head in awe. "I wished she would use that sort of focus for band practice instead of catching cake."
On the floor, Yui's eyes snapped open. Cake... That reminded her of Ui's promise to make her an ice cream cake if she made it to first lesson. The entire morning flooded back into her memory, and with it, the girl in the toilets. Kita. She sat upright quickly. "Hey, do any of you know the new girl, Kita?"
Every face in the room was blank.
"Kita?" Mio repeated, thinking hard. "I don't think I heard that name today."
"Why are you asking?" Mugi asked.
Yui sighed and pulled her knees to her chest. "I ran into her in the toilets this morning and she was really nervous. I feel sorry for her, and it would be better for her if she knew one of us."
Ritsu was banging her drumsticks against the side of the table, yawning. "Sounds like you, Mio," she replied with only a small hint of teasing in her tone.
Mio shot her a glare from across the table. "I am not that shy!"
"Are so."
"I am not!"
As the two bickered, Azusa spoke up. "I remember someone saying something about a student coming from another school, but I didn't actually see her."
"I think I saw her, but she was just walking down the hall. I didn't speak to her," Mugi admitted.
Yui felt even worse for Kita, being alone in this school full of strangers. She wished that she could do something, but the way she had reacted when she was trying to comfort her assumed that she would not let anyone near her until she was ready.
"So are we going to practice today, or eat cake?" Azusa asked, taking over Mio's job of whipping the rest of the girls into shape. She was already standing to plug her bass into the amplifier.
Ristu groaned and shoved her chair back. "I guess we'll practice, but one song, and then back to eating!"
"No!" Mio growled, grasping her friend by the collar of her shirt. "Come on, Ritsu, get up or I'll make you practice until midnight!"
Ristu didn't feel the force of the threat. "I'd like to see you make me, Mio."
Azusa swiped her pick across the string of her bass, making the room ring with the note. "Enough!" she roared. "It's time for practice!"
Ristu and Mio took one last look at each other, Mio wearing a frown and Ristu wearing a triumphant smile, then they moved off to their places. Mugi was already at her keyboard, always fast to follow Azusa's instructions. That left Yui on the floor, her mind still focused on Kita.
"Yui?" Mugi called, switching on her keyboard.
"That girl will be fine," Ritsu said as she leaned over her drums lazily. "At least she doesn't have to practice in a band for hours."
"If you hate it, then why are you here?" Mio yelled, turning on her heel with her eyes blazing. Everyone took a step away from her and Ristu quickly changed her attitude.
"I'm here because I love to practice!" she said quickly, sitting up straight and putting on a fake grin that showed all of her teeth. "See? Please don't kill me, Mio!"
Yui dragged herself from the floor with Gitah tight in her clutch. She stepped between Mio and Azusa and as she brought the pick down towards the strings, she wondered if she would see Kita again.
The band played for at least an hour after school every day, and usually Mrs Sawa the teacher came along for tea time. However she was too busy today, so they had the entire time to focus completely on their music much to half the groups disappointment.
Yui was taking care of the vocals today as the others belted out notes and beats on their instruments. They sounded better and better every time they played together. The year they had spent as a band had certainly achieved more glory and skills than they had expected. Each and everyone of them were proud of themselves, but still they wished for at least one more member to add to the sound.
Half way through the hour, they finished their fourth song. Ritsu let out a loud, dramatic breath and fell again onto her drum set. "That's it! No more! My hands, they burn!" She held them up, shaking them as she moaned. "Look at the raw wounds!"
As usual, Mugi took her pain seriously. "I-I'll go and get you some water right away, Ritsu!" she gasped, rushing into the small kitchen area.
Azusa could barely believe her eyes. She still wasn't used to these characters she played beside. "Is she always that gullible?" she asked Mio.
Mio sighed and messaged her temples. "Unfortunately Ritsu's acting skills work wonders with her," she said as the drummer burst into laughter behind her.
The only one in the group that didn't share in the theatrics was Yui. She sat on the floor in front of the microphone, tapping against Gitah's strings. "Poor Kita," she mumbled as she let out a sad note.
"If you're that worried about her, maybe you should check the other clubs and see if she's still here," Mio suggested, crossing her arms across her chest. She wished that just once Yui could put one hundred percent of her concentration into the band performance.
Yui's ears had pricked up at the idea, though. "Hmm... I wonder if she would be in one of the other bands right now."
A knock at the door made them all jump, alerted in the silence that enveloped the room once they had finished a song.
"We aren't expecting anyone, are we?" Ritsu asked, her amusement finally halting. "Mrs Sawa was busy, right?"
"Yeah, it can't be her," Mio said, striding over to the door with Yui on her heels. The black haired girl pulled open the door to find a timid girl with long brown hair shaking on the other side. She clutched her hands tight together in front of her and kept her gaze on the ground.
"Kita!" Yui exclaimed, popping up in the doorway beside Mio. "Are you okay? I was worried about you. Did anything happen? What are you doing here?"
Mio clamped a hand over Yui's mouth before she could blurt out any more questions. "Give her a minute, Yui! Your terrifying her!" She turned back to Kita, looking her up and down as she trembled.
Kita wasn't sure of the last question Yui had asked. Why was she here? She was asking herself again. She had heard someone talking about the Light Music club, and without thinking she had followed the directions that was printed on the back of the club handout she had found. "I... I was just..." She couldn't get the words out. She was too afraid of these people, these band players that probably thought she was a pathetic joke. The girl Yui looked happy to see her. What had she said about her? That she was a weak, frightened little girl? Oh, why had she come?
"Are you alright?" Mio asked, noticing how pale she was. She looked as though she were about to fall right onto the floor, and Mio's softer side came out.
Yui reached out towards Kita before Mio could, aiming to comfort her. "Don't worry, Kita. It's okay." She gave her most comforting smile that she hoped didn't look too deranged.
It wasn't okay for Kita, though. She felt so unsafe, so unprotected. She wanted nothing more than to be at home wrapped in her blankets, alone, or beside her mother at the hospital just to know she was alright. Before Yui could come any closer to her, she turned and ran down the hall. Whatever reasons she had followed subconsciously was long gone.
Mio watched in shock from the doorway as Kita hurried away. "What did we do?" she asked guiltily.
"I told you, she's just shy," Yui said, strapping Gitah onto her back. "I'm going after her, so stay here and practice, okay?" She gave Mio the 'thumbs-up.'
"Wait, Yui, don't forget about the... vocals." Yui was already gone, and Mio let out a long breath. "Damn, guess that leaves only me to sing." She shrugged her shoulders. "Band time's over for today, then."
As she turned and and headed back into the room to receive the news she was sure would please Ritsu, she was certain she heard the girl Kita scream from down the hall. She only wished for the girl's sake that Yui wouldn't be her usual uncontrollable self, and knew that she had no choice but to trust in Yui's intelligence... no matter how unreliable it was.
