"...So, how are your duties going?" Aiacos asked Minos when they passed yet another empty hallway.
"Ah, not too bad as usual. Just some idiots who got on my nerves so much I sent them off to Cocytus."
"...You're not a morning person." Valentine noted dryly from behind.
"Glad you noticed."

"...I love you."
The three Specters stopped as they heard someone. They all glanced at each other and then at the door to their left.
"...Rhadamanthys' quarters..." Valentine mused and plopped down to one knee next to the door, listening. Minos and Aiacos looked at him, shrugged and plopped right next to him.
"You are beautiful, you know that? I've loved you for a long time..."
"You three disgust me. If you have something to say, just open the door." a crisp voice said from behind. Just as Rhadamanthys' voice said "Marry me!" with fervent passion, Rune walked past the three eavesdroppers, opened the door and froze.

Rhadamanthys was kissing a whiskey bottle.

Valentine stared, Aiacos busted out laughing and Minos began to smirk like the Cheshire Cat at the scene in front of them. Then the white-haired Harpy Specter walked over to Rune and waved his hand in front of his face. No reaction.
"...Rhadamanthys, why the hell are you kissing a whiskey bottle?" Aiacos managed in between bursts of laughter.
"Watch it! She is not a mere whiskey bottle, she is Lady Whiskey!" as all three stared at him with looks of consternation, he added: "She is beautiful and I love her. We're getting married this September."
Valentine mustered all his remaining composure and said with a straight face: "Co-congratulations. ...I guess."
"We'll be leaving now, if you don't mind." Minos added, shoving Aiacos, Valentine and the still-blank Rune out of the room.

Valentine gave Rune one look and grabbed his sleeve. "I'll guide him to the hospital wing. I think that incident just fried his brain."
"Good idea." Aiacos watched as the Specter led his comrade down the hall. Then he turned to Minos. "When did Rhada go loco?"
"Beats me. Although I don't think my pranks would be enough to cause that... must be genetic."

As the footsteps faded, Rhadamanthys turned back to the table. He laughed.
"Their faces were priceless. They actually bought it." then he looked at the whiskey bottle again.

"Who needs marriage anyway? Right, my dear?" kissing his beloved whiskey, he made passionate love to her. It. Whatever.