Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, but I wish I did. sigh Ah well, a girl can dream.

Hi everyone! This is my first Saiyuki fic. (I've been writing a lot of firsts lately)

Anyway I'm writing this while I'm home alone and sick! As Ryung knows (along with others) I get into really bad moods when I'm sick! So instead of cussing at my friends I'm going to write a story with people that cuss all the time!

Ok this is not a slash and has no boy love! I don't write those kinds of things! Is that understood! Language is the only thing to worry about in here (and a bit of gore). This story takes place on there one year reunion of the trip to the west, when ever that may be.

Great now that that settled lets get started!

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Saiyuki:

The Fears of Four

By Sapphire Orb

Sanzo sat in his hotel room enjoying the quiet that had finally settled in. Hakkai had taken Goku out to look around the town and buy some supplies for the trip. He had taken 'Sanzo's' credit card to pay for the things, but he knew because the monkey was with them they were going to be buying more food that supplies. Sanzo sighed, taking another drink of his tea; he hoped Hakkai remembered to buy more sake.

Where was Gojyo? Hell, if he knew where that fuckin womanizer was and hell if he cared. He was probably out looking for some lady who he would bring to the hotel that night. God, he was glad that the hotel had enough room for all of them to have separate rooms. Sanzo went to take another drink of his green tea and noticed that there was no more in the cup, so he went to pour some more but there was none in the tea pot. "Fuckin shit." He said to himself as he sat down. Hakkai had better have damn well remembered that sake! (1)

Just as Sanzo sat down again at the table in his room the door flew open, out of reflex he took out his gun and pointed it towards the intruders. Hakkai and Goku found themselves staring down the barrel of Sanzo's banishing gun. Hakkai raised his arms up as a sign of surrender and Goku just stood there.

"Now, now Sanzo it's just us, no need to shoot!" with this Sanzo lowered his gun and put it back in his robe.

"What the hell are you guys doing here? You have your own god damn rooms, so get out of mine." Sanzo said turning away from the two.

"Well someone's in a bad mood tonight." Hakkai said moving into the room and putting the merchandise on the floor. After doing so he went and sat down in the chair across from Sanzo.

Sanzo's eyes darted to the bags of junk on the floor "You better have remembered to sake."

"Hehe, don't worry Sanzo I bought three bottles." As if on cue Gojyo arrived it the room. "Three bottles huh? Well let's open one up; I could go for a bit of sake." He sat down in the chair across from Sanzo, kicking Hakkai out of his spot, and Goku took the left. "Don't you idiots have your own rooms?" Sanzo said; this was not good for his headache.

Hakkai took this as his signal and brought out a bottle and poured everyone a glass. Sanzo gulped his down in one swig and leaned back in his chair. "We got something else at the shops too." Hakkai said refilling Sanzo's glass, He went back into the bags and pulled out a medium sized box.

Sanzo half paid attention as the box was put on the table and opened. Sanzo, Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai found themselves staring down at a small cake. It was covered in white frosting and in the middle it said 'one year'.

Sanzo was the first to speak up by saying "What the hell is this?"

"It's a cake for our one year anniversary of our trip to the west." answered Hakkai bringing everyone forks and plates.

"You mean I've been on this trip with you morons for one fuckin year?" asked Sanzo

"Er… yes." Sanzo just sighed out and said under his breath "It had better be a chocolate cake."

"YAY! CAKE!" Goku screamed as he jumped towards it, but was stopped by Gojyo who grabbed his shirt. "What the hell Gojyo! I want some cake!"

"Well act civilized about it you damn monkey! Don't go and put your face in it!"

"I wasn't going to you stupid water sprite!"

"WHO YOU CALLING A WATER SPRITE?"

"YOU, WHO ELSE YOU FUCKIN COCKROACH!"

"WHY YOU…" Gojyo stopped as he looked down at the cake, or at least where it used to be.

"What the hell happened to the cake?" Gojyo asked. Goku's gaze fell to the now empty box on the table. The both looked at Hakkai who was staring at Sanzo in awe. They both looked at Sanzo who was licking white frosting off his fingers.

"YOU ATE ALL THE CAKE!" Goku screamed at Sanzo who was now leaning back in his chair.

"Well if you idiots hadn't been arguing you could have had some." said Sanzo not even looking at the two of them, "If you want cake then go out and buy some more yourself."

"You stupid fuckin monk." was all Gojyo said as he walked out of the room and down the hall. "Hey wait up Gojyo," Goku yelled running after him "I want some cake too!"

Sanzo sighed as the two left and sipped at his shake "You know," said Hakkai from next to him "You could have at least saved some more for me. I only got a bite." Though Hakkai continued to smile Sanzo knew he was mad and he knew from experience it was not a good idea to get Hakkai mad.

"Fine I'll buy another cake for you tomorrow," said Sanzo finishing off his drink, "but right now I'm going to bed."

Hakkai finished off his own drink and left the room. The door slammed closed but the sound was also accompanied by a flash, a boom, and the sound of rain falling. Great just what I need, rain. Sanzo lay down in his bed and looked out the window. He didn't want to go to sleep now; he knew what dreams would come.

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Gojyo and Goku walked down the streets of the town. It was quiet, almost too quiet, but what could they expect people to be walking around at night in the rain? "Who knew the priest had such a sweet tooth?" Gojyo said trying to break the silence.

"He ate it all! I wanted some! It looked so good to!" Goku cried out.

"You aren't the only one monkey, I wanted some too, and I don't even think Hakkai got any."

"How could Sanzo eat all of it and not even leave any for me!"

"The real question is how the hell did he eat all of it? That was a fuckin big cake!"

They finally arrived at the bakers only to find a 'closed' sign on the door. "How can it be closed!" yelled Goku.

"Oh I am going to kill the monk for this." Gojyo said as they started walking back… er ok so he was dragging Goku back kicking and screaming.

He was about a foot away from the store (What? Dragging Goku is not an easy task) the lights turned on and a young lady was standing at the door.

"Oh hello." she said in a kind voice as she opened the door "Can I help you?"

Gojyo was immediately at the door dropping Goku in the mud "Well you see miss we-" he was cut off as the mud covered Goku ran up beside him splattering mud on Gojyo's outfit. "CAN WE HAVE A CAKE?" Goku yelled at the young lady.

"You stupid monkey, look at what you did!" Gojyo said pointing to the mud covering him. They both looked up as they heard giggling, they saw that the young lady was still there laughing at them. "Why don't you come in and get dried off, it must be very cold out there." She said opening to door wider to welcome them in, which they both accepted.

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Sanzo was woken up from his fitful sleep as he heard his door open. In a flash he was sitting up and had his gun aimed at the intruder. "I really need to start knocking first don't I?" said Hakkai in his normal calm voice.

"What the hell do you want?" asked Sanzo not lowering his gun.

"Gojyo and Goku haven't come back yet and it's been hours I'm starting to get worried." Sanzo narrowed his eyes; something wasn't right here, he could feel it. SANZO! A voice cut through his head, it was the God Damned Monkey. Shit something really must be wrong, thought Sanzo as he got out of his bed. "Fine we'll go look for them." He said getting into his priest robes.

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Sanzo and Hakkai walked down the streets in silence. They were both soaking wet now from the rain and they both just wanted to find the two and go back to the hotel.

"Hey Hakkai, where did you get that cake again?" asked Sanzo.

Hakkai didn't really know why it mattered but answered anyway "At the bakery just down the street. Why?"

"Because," said Sanzo taking out his gun "I don't think I'll be able to get you that cake anymore." Hakkai was confused by this and looked ahead of him. The bakery was burnt to the ground; the last of the fire was being put out by the rain.

Hakkai ran up to the now destroyed shop and looked at the damage. "How could this have happened?"

"I don't know, but I don't like It." they both heard a noise from the rubble and Sanzo aimed his gun at where the sound came from. Gojyo suddenly popped out from the rubble as a bullet rang past his head. "God damn it Sanzo it's me!" he yelled trying to get out of the rubble, "Help me out here would you?"

Once they finally got him dug out they realized his leg was badly broken and the bone was sticking out of the skin. "I'm going to have to set your leg Gojyo," Hakkai said grabbing his leg "This is going to hurt but try not to jerk away." With that Hakkai added pressure to the leg and pushed the bone back into the skin and as closely into place as he could. Gojyo screamed in pain and bit his lower lip till it started to bleed. Hakkai started to heal up the wound as Gojyo tried to catch his breath.

"God damn it Hakkai, You could have warned me!" Gojyo yelled as Hakkai finished off his leg.

"I did warn you, don't you remember?" Hakkai smiled at him.

"I hate to break up this fight but where the hell is the monkey?" Sanzo asked. Gojyo stood there quite for a long time trying to think of how to tell them, but then decided it really didn't matter and blurted it out.

"The monkey went ballistic," Sanzo and Hakkai both looked at him, trying to figure out what he was talking about, "Something happened to him when we went inside this shop, it was like something possessed him," Gojyo continued "He attacked me and the lady that owned the store, then he…he took off his limiter." he finished knowing he didn't have to say anymore.

They were all quite for a long time as the rain kept falling on them. "That god damned monkey." Sanzo finally said turning around from the others. He began to walk off when Hakkai stopped him "Sanzo you know that you cant save him any more." He said

"I know Hakkai, but that doesn't mean I can't stop him." Hakkai understood what Sanzo was saying and let him go.

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Sanzo really didn't know where he was going; right now he was in the forest on the out skirts of the town, it really didn't matter though no matter where the monkey went, he always seemed to find him and find him he did.

Goku jumped out at him with a speed that Sanzo had never seen him accomplish. Luckily the monkey wasn't aiming to attack Sanzo but stop him in his tracks. The demon looked up at him with yellow cat like eyes, and a wicked smile on his face. Sanzo frowned, there was something wrong, this Goku looked exactly like Goku did when he transformed, but yet he knew there was something wrong.

Sanzo looked deep into the demon kids eyes searching for his Goku or any sign of emotion… then in hit him, there was no emotion in this thing's eyes. This was not his Goku! The boy suddenly attacked and Sanzo shot his gun. The demon fell dead on the floor.

Sanzo watched as the demon lay there dieing he looked up at Sanzo with tears in his eyes "Why Sanzo?" the boy said in Goku's voice "Stop it." Sanzo said looking down at him "You're not Goku, so stop pretending you are." And with that Sanzo shot the boy in the head killing him.

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Hakkai walked into his room and lay down in his bed. What he had had of the cake was good, but really Sanzo could have at least let him have a little more. Hakuryu went and lay down at the foot of Hakkai's bed as they both drifted off to sleep.

Hakkai was woken by the sound of his door being thrown open. He sat up channeling his chi to his hands and readying his Qigong technique. "My, my, it's been quite a while hasn't it Cho Gonou?" a voice said. Hakkai looked trough the darkness only to see the very demon he killed during the first part of there trip. "No." he said looking at him. "I killed you, I…I," for once Hakkai was at a loss for words.

The demon just started to laugh as he looked at the man still in bed "You can't get rid of me that easily Cho Gonou. You should know that." he laughed again as Hakkai unleashed his attack. "I see you're not to happy to see me." said the demon and he looked at the scorch mark in the spot that he just stood, "But maybe you'll be happy to see your other guest." With that a young lady walked trough the door and into the room.

"No." said Hakkai as his eyes got wide. It can't be…no! "Ka…Kanan?"

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Sanzo's eyes stayed on the boy as he lit a cigarette. He inhaled the smoke but he couldn't feel it in his lungs. "Shit" he said as he realized the truth, he looked around as the forest began to fill with glowing red eyes. This isn't real! God damn it this is all just a fuckin illusion! He got his gun and started shooting at the demons that surrounded him. Shit! I have to break this damn thing! But how! He thought to himself as he kept shooting the creatures If I get hurt I might wake up, but then again, if I die in here I could very well die out there.

Sanzo's head was spinning as he tried to figure out a way to escape then a voice broke through his thoughts yelling in pain, SANZO! It was the monkey again. For once Sanzo was actually glad to hear it, now he had an idea.

Sanzo looked at the demons surrounding him and called upon the scared scripture destroying every demon that it touched. Good at least that works he thought now I really hope this works Sanzo closed his eyes ignoring the rain falling on his head and the sounds of the forest, slowly the sounds began to diminish and he could no longer feel the rain. Laughter began to fill his ears and he concentrated on the noise. He began to chant and he could feel the scripture come to life, though it was not on his back, he could still sense it.

Sanzo's eyes shot open as he directed the scripter as to where to go. They wrapped around a demon that was sitting in one of the living room chairs. Sanzo looked around; he was still in his hotel room on his bed. His eyes then went to the demon that was now being attacked by the scripture in his hands.

"How?" the demon choked out "How could you escape my illusion?"

"How?" Sanzo repeated "I was able to escape because it was a crappy illusion that's how." And with that Sanzo shot the Damon and it fell to the floor dead. Sanzo walked up to it and picked up his maten scripture putting it on again over his robes. "Stupid fuckin demon, did he really think he could kill me that easily?" he kicked the demons arm and it began to disappear "Shit another illusion!" said Sanzo pulling out his gun.

"Very good monk," a voice said from all around him, "You broke my nightmare illusion, let's just hope your friends have just as much luck!" Sanzo's ears filled with the sound of some one yelling and he recognized it as Hakkai's.

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Hakkai's hands grasped Kanan's arms trying to get her to release her hold on his neck. "Do you like it Cho Gonou?" the demon asked as Hakkai's vision started to blur. "She is under my control now; she will do everything I say!" Kanan pushed down harder on to Hakkai's throat cutting off all air. He struggled even more to get air but couldn't "I'm sorry my love." Kanan said as Hakkai's world went dark.

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Sanzo ran into Hakkai's room, breaking down the door, only to find the same demon that was in his room looking at Hakkai. Sanzo shoot his gun and the demon disappeared "Damn another illusion."

He then ran to Hakkai and noticed he wasn't breathing. Shit, am I too late? Sanzo asked himself as he checked the other mans pulse. It was still going, but it was faint, he didn't have much time. "HAKKAI!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, he really hoped he could here him "Listen to my voice and concentrate on it! Let everything else disappear! Hakkai! HAKKAI HURRY YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!"

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Sanzo? Hakkai thought he heard some one call his name. They were saying something but he couldn't hear what. Everything was dark and he could feel the hands around his neck. He didn't know what the person was saying but it sounded like Sanzo, he had to hear what he was saying, it had to be important. Listen…voice...it. What was the voice saying? He had to know. He noticed that he could hardly feel the hands now and it felt like he was swimming trough darkness, was he dead? HAKKAI HURRY YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! Now that he could hear as clear as day and it definitely was Sanzo. Suddenly his lungs started to burn and he realized he still hadn't taken a breath.

The opened his mouth and took in a wide mouth of fresh air. His body automatically shot up from the bed and he began to cough in to his hands. When he had finally stopped he noticed that his hands were now covered in blood. He looked up to come face to face with a very pissed off looking Sanzo.

"Hehe, um… hi Sanzo." He said in a scratchy voice.

Sanzo sighed and put his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" he asked not really in a concerned voice but close enough.

"Well, other then the fact that I was nearly killed by a dream I think I'm ok" replied Hakkai rubbing his neck. "It was an illusion wasn't it?"

"Yeah it was"

"It seemed so real… so I'm guessing we have an assassin on our hands?"

"It seems that way." Sanzo suddenly looked up, much to Hakkai's surprise, and down to the hall

"Shit!" he yelled as the stood up "Hakkai you go wake up Gojyo and I'll go get Goku." He said as he ran towards the door.

"Wait, how do I do that?" Yelled Hakkai

Sanzo stopped and looked back at him "They have to stop thinking about the illusion and concentrate on reality!" and with that Sanzo was out the door.

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Where was he? Goku couldn't seem to remember. Where had he been? Had he even left? His eyes felt heavy but he forced them open only to close them again.

How? How! He screamed once again opening his eyes and forcing them to stay open. I escaped here! Sanzo saved me! He yelled to himself as he looked out the stone bars that confined him.

He tried to stand up only to find that he was being held down by his chains.

He struggled against the strands of iron only to feel them get tighter around his arms NO! He struggled more, circulation to his hands beginning to be cut off. More chains came out of the ground wrapping themselves around him and pulling him to the wall.

"NO!" he screamed clawing at the chains in a desperate attempt to get free. "SANZO!" he yelled in his panic. "SANZO!"
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Gojyo was not happy, not at all.

Sure it was nice to be surrounded by beautiful women, but hell! When they're trying to kill you, he would rather be alone any day…okay that was a bit of a lie but who cared.

The women were clawing at him and pulling out chunks of his blood red hair. They grabbed on to his clothing ripping peaces off as others went for his neck trying to stop his breathing.

Gojyo was trying his best to get out of their grip with out hurting them, but it wasn't working out very well.

One of the women finally got her arms around his neck and was cutting of his air slowly. He felt blood start to run down his side and looked to see a knife imbedded there. His eyes flew up to look at the women, only to find them gone and his mother left it there place ax in hand.

The pressure on his neck didn't give though as he looked back to see that women still there stealing the air from his lungs, he fought against her hold but stopped when his mothers voice filled his ears.

"It's all your fault." she said in a whisper "You and that god dammed mother of yours!"

He looked up at her, fear in his eyes, this was just the same as all those years ago, only this time he was older and his brother wasn't there to save him.

"But finally, finally I can kill you! Make that damned hair of yours match the rest of your fucking body!" And with that she lifted the ax over her head ready to bring it down and end his life.

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Sanzo ran into Goku's room only to find him wrapped tightly in his sheets almost as if they were binding him down. He ran over to his side trying to get the sheets off him but stopped as soon as he saw Goku's face.

Tears…he had hardly seen the monkey ever cry but here he was struggling to free himself from the sheets and tears running down his eyes.

"I think this has to be one of my best illusions yet. Don't you agree Sanzo?" the demon said from behind him. Sanzo just turned around shooting the idiot in the head about four times till it disappeared, another illusion.

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"Gojyu, Are you okay!" Hakkai asked running up to the man who was now sitting up in bed coughing.

"Ya I'm fine, damn dream almost killed me though!" he said and Hakkai let out a small laugh. He had walked in just in time to kill the demon and to see Gojyo wake himself up, saying something about not letting her kill him.

Gojyo was a bit surprised to find Hakkai in his room when he finally woke from his nightmare, being able to kill his mother and the women holding him. he did fell bad but at the time only one thought ran through him mind I want to live, it hadn't mattered that they were women anymore, only that they wanted him dead.

But the dream wasn't too bad, Gojyo decided, because he did end up learning one thing, women were scary when they got mad.

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Goku had given up struggling now his body loosing the will fight, he felt hot tears run down his cheeks and he tried to reach up to wipe them away but his hands no longer moved.

Sanzo will save me, he always does. He though as he closed his eyes letting darkness take him, it was so warm and welcoming, he just wanted to let it swallow him up and never leave it. It was so nice.

A voice broke through the darkness though and he tried to concentrate on it, he knew the voice…but from where…

He opened his eyes again only to flinch at the bright light from the bars. He forced them to stay open only to see a man standing there with long blond hair, the sun?

The man disappeared soon though, and Goku wondered if he had even been there at all, but a new person walked up to the bars taking that man's place. His hair was shorter, but still the same color.

He held out his hand and Goku looked at it. He was tied up, how was he going to grab it? The man started to look upset when Goku didn't take his hand and began to pull it back.

Goku didn't want the man to leave so he tried to grab the hand and he was surprised to find that he could move, the chains around him rusting away. His hand touched the others and there was a blinding light that took him, it was much warmer then the darkness had been.

His eyes opened to look into Sanzo's face; he looked around him to see that he was sitting on his bed in his hotel room. He sighed. Thank god it was only a dream! he thought and then felt his stomach grumble.

"Hey Sanzo I'm hungry!" he said only to get a hit on the head and a 'Stupid monkey!'

Sanzo was cut off from his yelling when light began to illuminate the room. He looked out the window to see the rain had stopped and the sun was rising, putting a golden glow over the world.

Sanzo sighed at he looked at Goku rubbing his head, "Come on, let's go find Gojyo and Hakkai." He said as he walked out of the room

"Hey Sanzo! Wait up!" Goku yelled running after him.

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The four travelers wandered down the dirt road, the sun barley rising and stores only starting to open. They walked down the road a distance till they came to a sign the read BAKERY. They opened the door and walked in, a cheerful young lady greeted them.

"Hello everyone it's good to see you again!" she said with a smile "Can I get you anything?"

"No," Sanzo answered lifting his gun "but thanks for the cake." he said as he shot the demon through the head.

"Damn who would have thought a pretty lady like that would put that damn illusion dust into our cake! Nearly killed us all!" Gojyo said as they walked out of the store.

"Che." Sanzo said lighting a cigarette

"Well Sanzo, you still owe me for eating all that cake last night, but I think I would rather have some wine instead." Hakkai said happily.

"Guys I'm hungry!" Goku said as he got hit on the head three times, twice by Sanzo and once by Gojyo. Hakkai let Sanzo do his hitting for him.

Happy one year anniversary Sanzo Party!

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(1) Yeah I'm sitting here drinking green tea! And I just poured my last cup! Damn this thing!

Okay so that's it for me! I'm sleepy and am going to go to bed now! Yay me! God I hate being sick! And I just ran out of tea bags! God damn tea! Though I think 20 glasses of it is enough to last me a while I still want more! Grrrrrr.

I wanted to thank my beta for looking at this for me! Thank you Hitsumi Seiichiro! I hope you fell better soon!

UNTIL NEXT TIME

Sapphire Orb