Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of it's characters!
AN: So this is a bit of a personal story for me. It is dedicated to my cousin, who lost her fiance, the morning of their wedding. He was only 24 years old. I am so heartbroken for her, and I guess while I was thinking about what she was going through, I imagined her as Gwen. It is quite fitting, she has long dark curls, and he had short blonde hair. To her, he was her king, and her world crumbled in the same way Gwen's did.
This short story was written as a small little tribute.
A Heart's Tragedy
As her eyes opened, Gwen rolled over and stared at the ceiling. They felt raw and red, and her face felt swollen. She had cried and cried, for hours. She had cried until she had nothing left, and then had fallen asleep from exhaustion.
Arthur was gone. He was gone forever.
What could she do now? He was her life. Everything in her past had led up to her working in Camelot and meeting him. He had become her entire present, and he had been all she could ever want in her future. He was her King, her husband, her best friend, her lover. He was her entire life. What could possibly be done when your entire world crumbles around your feet?
Gwen stood up from the bed and walked over to her mirror. She looked awful. Even through her dark skin she looked pale and sickly. Her eyes welled as she looked at her had only been gone 24 hours, how was she expected to survive this much pain for the rest of her life?
They had often talked about having children together; a little prince and princess running around their feet. They would be stubborn like their father, yet have the kindness of their mother. Their hair would be blonde and curly, and their skin would be olive. They would be beautiful.
Gwen's hand shook as she ran her fingers through her hair. Never had her own reflection caused her so much pain.
She had gone from brimming with happiness and pride of his victory, to such fear and worry when they couldn't find him. She had sent out search parties to no avail, but she had refused to give up hope. And finally, the word had reached her. The king was dead.
Dead.
The word reverberated around her mind, as if looking for a place to sink in and being unable to do so. It just kept on playing on repeat.
Dead. My Arthur. Dead. Gone forever. Dead.
The news had been gut wrenching. Almost literally. It had felt as if some invisible hand had reached into her heart and ripped it clean out. Arthur had been her other half, he had completed her in a way no one else in world ever could. With Arthur gone she had discovered a void had now been left within, causing a dull ache in her chest and an empty knotting pit in her stomach. Gwen had collapsed to the ground from agony, with only a quiet wail escaping from her lips.
Dead.
Guinevere was a Queen; and now she was expected to rule the kingdom. She was supposed to walk tall and stand strong, to be fierce and determined in everything that she did. It was her duty to put Camelot as her first priority, and her own personal life second. Of course the kingdom would grieve the loss of their king, and she would be so grateful for every kind word she receives. But once everyone had moved on with their lives, she would be the only one left. Completely destroyed.
Gwen watched her reflection as tears once again began to travel down her cheeks. Never in her life had she felt so alone. This time her grief was different. She had lost both her father and brother in the last few years, and whilst that had hurt, and their loss had broken her heart, she had mended. Her father and Elyan were so important too her, but without them she had survived. Arthur was her life. She couldn't possibly begin to dream of a life where he wasn't there.
A knock came at the door, and Gwen let out a startled gasp. She quickly wiped away at the stray tears, and croaked 'Enter' as loud as she could.
The door creaked slowly open, and Merlin poked his head around the corner. If it were possible, he looked worse than she did.
He strode over to where she was sitting and fell to his knees.
"Gwen… I am so so sorry."
Merlin began to weep uncontrollably.
"I tried so hard to save him, but I was too late. It's all my fault, I should have tried harder, or walked faster, or, I don't know. I just should have done something more."
Merlin broke.
Gwen left her chair; cheeks once again wet with tears, and knelt beside him.
"Merlin you did more than any of us ever could. I will always be grateful that you were with him until the end."
They embraced, sitting on the floor together. They held onto each other as if they were the last stable beings on earth. They shared a love for Arthur that many perceived, but no others understood.
That sat together on the floor in silence, and after a while, Merlin stood and walked around the room. He opened the wardrobe, where Arthur's shirts were hanging, he looked at the floor where his boots were lined up. He noticed a little wedge of wood missing from the leg of the table from the time Arthur had fallen off his seat and his sword had gotten wedged. He looked at the window, and could clearly see Arthur leaning against the wall, gazing out to the kingdom, as he always did when battling a problem.
This room was Arthur's, it was full of his memories and his possessions.
"Gwen, we have to get out of here. You need to breathe."
Gwen's brows furrowed in confusion.
"He is everywhere here. It's too painful. Gwen let me take you for a walk, through the woods, or down to the market. Let's just go somewhere where you don't have to be reminded for a while."
"Merlin, this is his kingdom. There is nowhere left where I will not be reminded."
They both knew she was right, but nevertheless they left the castle and wondered through the woods. Gwen and Merlin were in this together. They were the lover and the best friend.
They spent the whole day talking. They spoke of their pain, the happy memories. They spoke of what Arthur would have wanted if he were here now, and how Gwen should run his kingdom now that he is gone.
More importantly, they were both talking about the future, and this in itself, was the first step in moving on.
AN: I am leaving this open as i'm not sure if a Chapter Two should follow, or if it should stand by itself as a one shot. Either way, I hope i did Gwen justice.
-Magicsuperhero xx
