Okay here I am again with another fic! Lol. When I was writing the update for In Tom Quincy's Mind I was thinking I should write one for Jude. So here it is: In Jude's Mind. And let's just say…she isn't as innocent as we think! Lol.
When people hear the name Jude Harrison they immediately think: The First Instant Star Winner. I have no problem with that. I am happy that people all over the world know who I am. Even if they don't know the real me. They don't know that I have two geeky best friends. They don't know that I hate my mom's new boyfriend/fiancé. They don't know that I write at least four songs a day. They don't know they real reason I broke up with Vincent Spiederman. They don't know that I hate Liam with a passion and that despite his controlling mantality; I really do like Darius…even if I am a little scared of him. They don't know that I am jealous of my sister. And they defiantly don't know I am secretly head over heels in love with Tom Quincy.
Well they all suspect that last one. They can suspect all they want, as long as they don't get hard facts that I love him or a quote with me saying that I do love him, I'm going to deny it. How does he feel about me? I have no idea. I don't even think he knows how he feels. All I know is that I think he loves to flirt with me. Although he is Tom Quincy. Flirting and sex are the only two words in his vocabulary. Ever since I have met him I have wrote 312 love songs about him. Honestly. I counted all of them last night.
Actually it would be safe to say 313 songs because I am sort of writing another one right now as I think. I have wrote 82 hate songs about him. But you cant honestly say they are hate songs because in each one I always write something along the lines of 'I still love him.' It's funny how I can admit so openly in my mind how much I love him. I just wished that he loved me just an ounce as much as I love him.
I mean he might but right now I'm pretty sure he just thinks I'm jailbait. Actually, in his mind my nickname for him is probably jailbait. I really wish I knew what goes on in the mind of Tom Quincy. I know 99 of the time it is sex. I also know that 75 of the time I'm the one he is imaging have sex with. How do I know this? Whenever I wear something that shows the littlest amount of skin he gets mesmerized and can't take his eyes off of me.
Lately I have been wearing a lot of skirts. Why? Because I found out he has been having one night stands every day of this week and last week. I am trying to show him what he is missing. I know I am still just 17, but I am turning 18 in two months. I am honestly thinking about getting him a calendar that way he won't forget when it is. Although I don't think he will forget…not if he wants to make it to his 25th birthday.
And seriously I do not think that 6 years difference is that months. If you want to get technical with it, it's a whole FOUR years away from ten years. He's not that much older than me. But I guess prison orange isn't his color. Either that or he is in denial. But I think it's closer to the first one. But he is so confusing! Lately he has been acting like he wants me. And I know that is partly because I have been wearing all these skirts and tight shirts. But he has actually been getting nervous…he never gets nervous. Do you see where I'm coming from?
And another strike against me is the fact that I am a virgin. Tom Quincy has so much experience he could have his own porno series. He probably thinks that I wouldn't know what to do. That's not exactly true. One night Kat and I got into Kyle's secret stash of pornos and took half of them. (Yes I know the thought of what Kyle actually does while watching those pornos scares me too). Anyways…when we were watching them, and when we weren't giggling, I was paying a little more attention than what I should have. I think I would know what to do if me and Tommy did have sex.
Of course I know he could defiantly show me a few things. And I am always willing to learn. See I think like that all the time but when Tommy actually flirts with me I can never say what I am really thinking. I get all nervous then I start to blush. He's already told that he knows I think about the same thing he does. And I know he is absolutely right.
And I know he gets as graphic as I do. It shows on his face every time the thinks about something bad. But he always pisses me off. He never listens to me when I talk. He is always thinking about something. Either that or his eyes are trying to x-ray me. I wouldn't mind that if he did that while I was writing a new song. But he does that while I am talking.
It's okay for him to get lost in thoughts about me but I have to get made fun of if I think about him. Not only does Tommy make jokes but so does Speed and Wally and Kyle. It's not fair. Speed he is just immature and upset that we broke up. I honestly never really liked him as much as it seemed. Yes, I admit that I did like him a little but I always looked for to Tommy Time instead of Speed Time. See Speed Time doesn't even sound right. But Tommy Time…yes.
Speaking of Tommy Time…I am actually on time today so he can't be mad. I bet that once I turn 18 Tommy Time is going to be rated R. A girl can dream can't she? Tommy Time could be rated R right now if he would actually make the first move. Doesn't he know that girls don't like to make the first move? Not only do we not like making the first move, we are supposed to make the first move. That's the guys' job. I know he is not the shy type, considering his sex history.
So why is he taking so long to do anything with me? I want to say maybe he doesn't find me attractive but every time he looks me up and down I know he is thinking something different. He is just so confusing. I have never met a guy like him. I mean I thought Shay was complicated…he is nothing compared to Tom Quincy. Jamie was more like a love sick puppy and Speed…well he thought I was one of the guys so enough's said there. Tommy is the first real man that I have ever liked/loved. Maybe that's why he confuses me so much. He isn't a boy…he is a man.
Well I don't care. He should tell me how he feels. Actually I'm getting to the point where I wouldn't mind if he would just act on the sexual impulses that I know he has. If he was to call me in the middle of the night saying he needed me then I would jump in my car so fast and be at his house in five minutes. Honestly. That's how bad I have been wanting him lately. I don't know if it's just hormones or what but I have been wanting Tommy.
I have always had these secret urges just to grab his face and kiss him while we are at work, but lately that has changed. Instead of wanting to grab his face and kiss him, I have been wanting to jump on his lap and straddle him then have a make out session with him that would hopefully lead to more. Yeah it has to be my hormones talking. And I have been watching a lot of guys work out lately during P.E. so I guess that's why I'm a little hormonal.
Maybe he is a little hesitant because he thinks I don't want to loose my virginity. If he only knew. He's the only person I want to loose my virginity to. The thought never crossed my mind with my other ex boyfriends. I just wanted to make out with them and that's it. With Tommy, I want to do so much more with my Tommy Time.
Maybe I'll have to make the first move again. No…I still remember very clearly what happened the one time I did make the first move. But then again I was only fifteen. At least we know Tommy is not a pedophile. He had every right to turn me down. He didn't have to be so mean about it but he had the right to tell me that I was only fifteen. I guess I have always powerful hormones. Good thing her proceeded to apologize later and good thing I am such a forgiving person. That and I had also realized the two mistakes I had made.
See me and Tommy have a pretty big history. Most of it is filled with a lot of sexual tension…and I do mean a lot. Every day we see each other and get near each other I feel the sexual tension going on between us. I can't help it and he can't help it. That's just the definition of us. Tommy and Jude equals King and Queen of sexual tension. I think the only way to fix the sexual tension between us is to have mad passionate sex. See there goes those hormonal thoughts again.
I think I'm having all these thoughts because it has only been three days since Kat and I stole those pornos from Kyle. He has so many I bet he doesn't even know they're missing. I guess it's typical for a guy Kyle's age to have a lot of them; typical and sad. And I always wondered why he left rehearsals so early. I wonder if Speed and Wally have the same amount of pornos. I bet they borrow each others. Okay that's just gross.
I wonder if guys sit around and think about girls like we do. Tommy has a little commitment problem so I know he doesn't. Well, he thinks about girls, but in a pornographic way. I sometimes think about boys in a graphic way, but not too graphic…not even borderline pornographic. Tommy, on the other hand, I'm not so sure. I'm almost positive that everything that goes through his mind is sex related. I bet if I said I want a sucker he would give me one of his smirks and instantly images and thoughts of me doing things to him would flash through his mind.
Okay I really can't say anything. Whenever he asks me if I need any help when I am writing a song I have the urge to say "Yes, but not with this song." You know I think I'm going to start blaming Tommy for my mind. I think I hang out with him too much. I know the way he thinks and it is rubbing of on me. When it was just me, Kat, and Jamie I never had any sexual thoughts. Now, ever since Tommy and I have kissed three times, I have all the sexual thoughts in the world.
You're going to find this sad but, whenever I get mad at him I actually think about him to get un-mad. Doesn't make any sense? It will. Let's say I find out he has had sex with some random blonde. I obviously get a little mad and jealous. I just sit in my chair and write down some things then I imagine him sweating with no shirt on. That immediately makes me smile and forgot the reason why I am mad.
I'm not obsessed so get the idea out of your head. I can't help the fact that Tommy Quincy is the sexiest guy I know. He is probably the sexiest guy in Canada. You try working with him everyday…especially when he gets new cologne or spends an extra 5 minutes on his hair. I make jokes about how much gel he uses but the truth is, I think I am more attractive to him when he uses a lot.
One time he woke up late and just decided to brush his hair down, letting his bangs fall to his forehead. I was tempted to kiss him that day, but I held back, of course. One of these days I'm not going to be able to hold back and I don't know what will happen. I know what I hope will happen.
I normally don't think about him this much…at least when he isn't here…but right now I am bored. Yes, Tom Quincy does take up my free-time thoughts. Like I said, you try working with him. Speaking of work, I have been here for a whole five minutes and I have yet to see Tommy. I know he is here. I saw his newest car in the parking lot.
One of these days…if we ever get together…I want to have sex in all of his cars. Although he has so many I don't think there will be enough hours in the day. Hmm I wonder if he is big in certain areas. I mean he can't be lacking. He has had sex with every girl in Canada, so something must be right.
Does he have a rifle or a pistol? I should ask Portia, although Tommy isn't really her favorite person. And I know that girls love to insult a guy's size if they are mad at them or if they no longer like them. But Portia does have a good reason not to like him. Actually she has a great reason to HATE him. But she would be the only person that I personally know who knows how big he is.
Note to self: remember to ask Portia how big Tommy is. Of course I could probably just go up to any random pretty girl on the street and ask her and she would probably be able to tell me. Or I could, God forbid, ask my sister. I hope they didn't have sex. That would honestly break my heart and unless the jealous angry girl I have deep inside of me. If I was to find that out I don't think picturing him sweating with no shirt on would help calm me down. It would probably just make me angrier.
Okay let's not think about those thoughts. Let's think about Tommy and whether or not he is going to work out today. Oh I didn't tell you before? It was him I was watching work out. I'm not stalking him, if that's what you're thinking. He has been inviting me over everyday after work to work out. I never work out because personally I don't think I need to plus I'm a whimp. I just always agree to watch him workout and break out into a sweat. And I know he knows that's the only reason why I always accept.
There he is. Tom Quincy, guy of me dreams and thoughts, just walked through the doors. He smiles at me and takes a seat next to me. I immediately smell his cologne. Is it wrong for me to get kinda hot just by smelling his scent? He turns me around in my chair so that I am staring at him. I'm guessing he wants to talk about last night. Oh I didn't tell you about last night? Well let's just say it's a conversation that will defiantly have multiple different outcomes. And if we don't have the conversation there will probably be a lot more sexual tension between us. Like I said before….we are Jude Harrison and Tom Quincy: King and Queen of Sexual Tension. Let the conversation begin……….
There is chapter one. Please tell me what you think…….
