5. Inuyasha

"Lady Izayoi?" I heard my elder brother call from where I was sitting in my bed.

What was Sesshomaru doing here? He never came here for anything after dark. Father must have convinced him to come here somehow. I crept down the stairs as silently as I could. I needed to know why onii-chan was here so late at night. I heard soft murmurs from the other room between my onii and my okaa. My ears twitched on top of my head as I strained my hardest to hear something without giving off a notice to my brother that I was out of bed. Sesshomaru never liked it when I was up late because it meant that I would be cranky in the morning. He only wanted the best for me. Sesshomaru did everything he could to take care of me.

"I hate you! I hate that damn half-breed mutt too!" Sesshomaru growled, but he wasn't done yet, "He is a disgrace to my family! I don't know what Chichue sees in either of you! But I refuse to be surrounded by weakness anymore!"

I ran out from my hiding spot and went up to Sesshomaru. My head reaching his knees. I looked up into his eyes as I refused to cry over his hurtful words.

"You don't mean that Onii! You can't! You love us. You love me…" I whispered to him as I stared into his cold amber eyes that were so like mine.

"I don't know what you are talking about half-breed. And if you dare call me anything more endearing than Sesshomaru-sama ever again I will remove your head from your shoulders." Sesshomaru bit out to me, his eyes hardened as I stood watching.

Sesshomaru was sealing off his heart, he was putting up a barrier so I couldn't get to him anymore. He was lying! Sesshomaru was lying to me! I refused to let my sadness overwhelm me. I wanted to make Sesshomaru proud, and tears would only show weakness. I steeled my gaze to match his and a snarl rose to my lips.

"YOU LIE SESSHOMARU!" I screamed at him and I felt my beast break free of the tentative chains that had bound him into submission. I saw my gaze turn red and felt my small claws lengthen just a little bit. I watched as my heart broke to pieces right before his eyes… And then everything changed.

I was older now, leaping over rooftops, my demon still free. I had the Shikon no Tama in my hands. I was about to wish myself human so that I could be with Kikyo, just as we had planned earlier that day. We were going to be together. Finally someone had felt something for me more than utter contempt. Someone was willing to think about me, and my well-being. Then, mid-jump, a sudden pain stabbed through my shoulder. I watched as an arrow pierced my flesh. Not just any arrow, a sacred arrow, one that I knew to be Kikyo's. I looked at Kikyo and saw her hardened gaze, and at once I felt like I was a small pup again when my brother had abandoned me. Once more I hardened my gaze in return and hardened my heart that had been shattered into even smaller pieces this time. Right as I lost consciousness I finally understood the truth. No one would ever want to love me. The two people who I had put so much trust into, the two people I had become vulnerable for, the two people who I had thought could protect my heart, they broke it and fed it to the animals. They relished in the pain that I felt as they used my abused and broken heart.

"Inuyasha!" someone called. I didn't want to listen to them. I wanted to fade into the blissful darkness that was surrounding me.

""Inuyasha if you die here I swear I will bring you back from the dead just so I can kill you again!" the voice continued to threaten me.

I knew that voice. If only I could place it. Or did I know that voice? I couldn't place it.

"You really are a disgrace to the Taisho name if you die from this." A second voice drawled uninterestedly, or so it seemed.

I KNEW that voice! That bastard dares to call me weak? Feh! I'll teach that furry, pompous git!

I beat back the darkness that I, only a moment ago, was content with consuming me. I needed to teach that arrogant asshole a lesson! When my eyes opened, more like one eye opened, I saw the teme Sesshomaru and yet I couldn't help but be somewhat intrigued by the look in his eyes. Whatever I thought I saw there was gone within the same instant that I saw it though.

"Whaddya want you pompous prick?" I said to him, my delivery lacking the normal venom and bite. I suddenly felt so sleepy.

"Unfortunately Inuyasha, you have been in a coma for three days. Your life force was slowly dripping away from you, and frankly, you smelled of death. A smell that I would rather not have surrounding the area. It was rather sickening." Sesshomaru blandly said to me.

I gave Sesshomaru an incredulous look. That was the closest thing he had given me to a concern since we were children.

"I must be hallucinating. Or dead. Cause hell, Sesshomaru, you have never given my condition any thought before this. Am I dead?" I said to him, completely serious.

"You are not dead. And why would this Sesshomaru allow his kin to be killed in such a blasé way? It was just a little purification and poison gone wrong. Nothing that would kill a son of the great Taisho. Between that ningen Kagome and Naraku himself it is highly likely you will die from one error on either side." Sesshomaru then walked out of the room barking orders to those stationed at the door to not let me out of their sight.

For whatever reason the smarmy bastard was giving a shit for once, and I was going to let him until I felt good enough to leave. It wasn't like I needed to rush back out to a place where I had to scavenge for food on my own, and protect myself while wounded. So I simply fell back asleep.

The next morning I woke up and found myself staring into the eyes that were so like mine. Eyes that looked like there was a crack in the armor I had once thought impenetrable. Eyes that I had once adored, that I had loved looking into. Eyes that were so full of love and kindness and adoration. That was the nii-san that I knew. These eyes were nothing in comparison to those ones, but still I felt my heart beat pick up a little because of the close proximity of them.

"Sessho…" I exhaled lightly, slightly dazed, whether from sleep or the intensity of stare...

"Inuyasha." He said tenderly, something I hadn't heard in a long time. My hand moved to touch him, to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but a rush of anger flooded me and I glared at him, locking up my vulnerabilities and my hand dropped. I would NOT fall prey to this again. He wouldn't be able to use me so easily.

'He hates you remember?' my rational mind was saying.

Ours… Our alpha… He protected us… Took us in… my beast murmured in my head.

Alpha. When had I heard that term before today? Why did it move something in me? It felt like my soul was lit on fire. A blazing inferno that only he could quench. Wait, no that was just my beast trying to escape. I felt my eyes start to bleed red. Kuso!

"Tetsusaiga… need Tetsusaiga…" I attempted to growl out.

Sesshomaru shook his head sadly, yet determinedly. He was refusing me Tetsusaiga? I didn't want to hurt him, or do something that I would rather not remember.

OUR Alpha! My beast roared in my head and I fought whatever control he wanted over my body. However in my weakened state the control I had over him was about as good as when I was a pup.

I felt my ears flatten atop my head and a whine escaped my lips. I just wanted Tetsusaiga, what was so wrong with that? Again I whined to Sesshomaru and he bowed his head slightly. As if he was ashamed.

"Tetsusaiga broke Inuyasha. It shattered. The purification that Kikyo put it through was intense. She knew that if she broke Tetsusaiga you would have a higher possibility of going on a rampage and hurting those who you had grown to care about. Especially that," Sesshomaru paused, "that Kagome girl you seem to be so fond of."

Sesshomaru's cold gaze returned at the mention of Kagome's name. What did he have against her? Kagome had saved his ass on many an occasion. She caused this mess, yes, but she had also saved his ass. But why would Kikyo do something like that to me? What had I done? I whined once more a slightly different tone escaping my mouth.

"I don't know if you should be worried or concerned about what you did to warrant her anger Inuyasha. All I know is that Kikyo has removed herself from your little group. I don't know where she has gone or what she did. She is gone." Sesshomaru spoke to me.

How the hell was he doing this? How did he know what was running through my head? Could he read my mind? I growled at him lightly and then cringed at my beast's reaction to such. Sesshomaru simply raised a single perfect eyebrow. I fought the urge to duck my head to his look, like I would have when I was a child and instead looked him straight in the eyes. When I looked him in the eyes Sesshomaru simply chuckled and my gaze became fixed on him. I hadn't heard him laugh like that since he abandoned me in the woods. Only 75 and supposed to fend for myself, it was insane. My eyes widened and I simply stared at him in disbelief. His little chuckle had sounded like what I imagine a thunder cloud to sound like if it laughed. It was so rich and deep, imbued with both power and care. My beast hummed in delight and I swear if I had a tail when I heard that it would've started wagging.

"Inuyasha, I know what you are thinking because you are telling me in your whines and other noises. It is the language of our people, the Inu dog clan. I am not reading your mind, although I may as well be with how emotive you are." Sesshomaru looked away and got up from where he was sitting and I watched his façade slip back into place. The mask as cold as ice slid over the eyes that were just so emotive.

"Your miko and pack are arriving." Sesshomaru growled lightly and I felt my beast prickle and try to make me submit to him.

"Well, what are you waiting for Sesshomaru? Let them in." I say to him, the normal venom gone. I was just too confused to be able to think properly about who I was supposed to be mean to and who I wasn't.

Sesshomaru gave me a cold, calculating look and then stalked from the room before the others could get to the door. When he left I felt my beast cry out for him, but I did my best to put it under restraints so that the others wouldn't see my red eyes first thing when they walked in the room.

Kagome ran in first worry lacing her scent. She was followed by Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kirara. The others had slight worry and anger in their scents.

"Oh Inuyasha! Are you okay?!" Kagome nearly screamed and my ears automatically flattened to my head.

Kagome started to look my body over for some reason. And my first instinct was to back away from hands that I knew would hurt me and prod at me. My scent must have taken on one of slight fear because Shippo looked over at me his eyes wide. He walked over to me and put his hand on my arm and looked into my eyes. I flicked them over to Kagome in response to his unvoiced question and his eyes widened a bit.

"Kagome. Inuyasha is fine. Leave him be. He doesn't want touched right now." Shippo said and Kagome looked at him oddly.

"Stop being so dramatic Shippo. Inuyasha has always been okay with me tending to his wounds before." Kagome waved Shippo's concern off.

"Wench," I said boisterously, "Cut it out! Would ya?" Hiding my fear effectively.

"I have to make sure you are okay Inuyasha. Stop fighting me on this and just let me see to your wounds." She continued to look at my body, going so far as to start taking my clothing off. I let out a whimper and as soon as that was voiced I felt Sesshomaru appear at the door and open it. What was going on with me? Why would I be scared of Kagome after all of this time?

"Higurashi-san, move away from Inuyasha. Right now." Sesshomaru commanded Kagome who looked up and got up slowly. She wasn't stupid, that was at least good to know.

I felt a warmth rise in my chest at the sight of Sesshomaru and I lifted my head a bit too far to look at him for a second. And that one movement made his eyes bleed slightly red which made me giddy for some reason.

"Kagome! What are you talking about?" Shippo shouted, "Inuyasha is fine! He must have been for Sesshomaru to let us in to see him!" I looked at the kit surprised. He had never raised his voice before, especially to Kagome. Everyone must have thought the same thing because they all had something like the look I was sporting on their faces, mixed with something else. I must have missed something, because even Sesshomaru looked like he was seething.

I attempted to get up and after a second was able to stand on wobbly knees. Shippo took my hand, his youkai felt nice against mine, much better than the miko energy. He helped me walk and when I got a few steps away from Sesshomaru I let go of his hand and walked a few steps forward, only to trip into Sesshomaru. For some reason I needed this, this closeness.

It had been such a long time since I felt a youkai against mine, in a form that was taller than me, and friendly. There had been plenty that weren't friendly, and were taller than me.

Our alpha…my beast purred in my head. I felt a response from Sesshomaru as he hummed in his chest and pulled me close to him.

My beta. You are my beta. No one can touch you, or lay claim to you. You belong to this Sesshomaru. I heard him respond in a series of growls and hums.

For some reason that didn't scare me, that only made me feel more safe, more secure. I looked up into his eyes and saw his expectations for me. He wanted me to be myself, my filthy, half-breed self. Nothing more, nothing less, just the man that I had become.

But why did he leave me? Why did he abandon me when I was nothing but a pup? I needed these answers before I could give him what he wanted, what I had always wanted.

"Kagome, guys, could you leave for a bit. I need to talk with Sesshomaru alone. We have some business that we haven't dealt with yet, simply brushed under the rug." I let them know. Shippo nods and moves to leave us alone as do the others. All except Kagome.

"Inuyasha," she whines, "we have to go. You're the one who always insists that we pack up as soon as we can to go look for them. What makes you want to stay longer this time?"

Sesshomaru gave her his coldest glare, one that even I had never been on the receiving end of and she ran away like a bitch with her tail between her legs. I looked into Sesshomaru's eyes, which had become soft with emotion again. Now seemed as good a time as any to ask him.

"Sesshomaru, why did you leave me all alone?" I asked him looking in his eyes as I did so.

"I don't know what you mean Inuyasha." Sesshomaru responded but I saw a slight flicker of pain in his eyes.

"You do know what I am talking about. You just don't like thinking about it. What were your reasons for leaving that night when I was a pup. For making me feel inferior, like I was worthless." I ask him more confidently this time.

"I said those things because I needed you to stop liking me. I needed you to hate me. I didn't want to bring you into court life if I didn't have to. Pups learn a lot when they live in the courts. Much more than they should as pups. I wanted to keep you pure and simple. You were so happy living in a little hut in the middle of a field. I couldn't subject you to what I had grown up in, especially if you liked me the way you always claimed to." At that memory Sesshomaru laughed again, and it was like heaven.

As a pup I had often spoke of my undying love towards Sesshomaru. It wasn't unheard of for a pure demon clan to inter marry. Even siblings were okay game. And ever since I could remember, I was in love with the picture of perfection that was Sesshomaru. No matter how asshole-ish he got, I couldn't help but love him. Hate him at the same time too of course, but there was always that hope that he would come back and we would be like children again. And I could just be secure in my affection for him. I tried to deny it for so long, and I'm grateful that Kikyo or Naraku or whoever stopped me from making that stupid wish on that damn jewel. Becasue that, that would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

I looked up into Sesshomaru's eyes and saw he spoke nothing but the truth, there wasn't even a hint of a lie in his smell either. So he was telling the truth. Wait,

"Does that mean that you like me the same way Sesshomaru?" I asked earnestly, my head craning up a bit to see him at this angle.

The only response was a possessive growl as Sesshomaru's eyes turned red around the edges and he captured my lips in a passionate, demanding kiss. One I would soon not forget. I had been re-found by someone I had once given my love to, someone who had never really lost it to begin with. We just had to dig a little deeper to find it. With time we would mend together. Time and love.

I broke the kiss first, panting heavily, while Sesshomaru looked like it hadn't fazed him at all. I looked into the eyes of my onii and saw love. For the first time I saw pure love. And it was that which triggered a memory.

"Sesshomaru, do you know what today is?" Sesshomaru raised a single elegant eyebrow, the damn bastard.

"Today is Valentine's Day. A day where people who love each other spend time together and do nice things for each other." I say and we both smile.

"Happy Valentine's Day Inuyasha." Sesshomaru whispers in my furry ear and then nibbles on it a bit.

"Happy Valentine's Day Sesshomaru." I whisper back and a shiver of pleasure wracks my body.

No one saw us for the rest of the day as Sesshomaru and I figured out what we were going to do with the rest of our lives.