It was a dangerous technique, and I know that I should never have used it. It was foolish to have done so: others will now expect it; they now know what I am capable of. And for that reason, they shall fear me, fear me and the power that is the Kokuryuu, the Dragon of the Darkness, the Flame.
Many are the titles that it holds. None are more fitting then its true name, by which I call it. It is the name that demons have come to fear, pretending that it is not possible to call forth, but I have. I baited it with my own energy, and the dragon responded, failing to take me as well as its true prey.
Kurama tells me that I should be happy that I am still here. Of course, there is that nagging side of my mind that is, but the dominant part scolds and repents me for not mastering the technique.
Of course, I reason with myself, I know that I can't master it in one go, and that, like every truly great technique, it will take time, but that is beside the point. The problem with my inability to perfect it with the first go meant that I had little time to do so. And unlike each other time that it happens, when I have all the time that I need to train and drill and work, I could not go out and have a shot at a dense forest, or a passing demon.
It would have meant our lives.
And for the first time, I realize that it is "our," it is "us," and unlike every other time in my life, I am not alone. That thought is stirring, knowing that since my rejection from my homeland, all the time that I spent toughening myself and learning not to rely on the generosity of others now means nothing. It never meant anything, I realized.
And for that reason, I work all the harder, pushing myself to the limits, not allowing any weaknesses show, because now there are people that I feel the need to protect and stand by, and to let death befall them would be a death inside.
The weakness of my thoughts unsettles me, and I give a last glance at the wooded area behind me, wishing that I was alone, that I was able to let out the Dragon, let it ravage the lands and rip things to shreds, all to clear out the anger that dwells inside.
But the rational side of me reminds me that there are others, more important than myself, and I walk away.
