Tale of the Rat
This damned woman was plugging up my hole! How was I supposed to get out and about the room?
It had always been peaceful in the room above the old antique shoppe, that is, until these two blasted humans had begun using it for their own "purposes." They made such a horrible racket, with all the man's grunts, and all the girl's clearly fake moans.
I hadn't the foggiest notion why such a pretty girl would be interested in this meager mouse of a man, much older than herself.
Once, I crawled onto the bed and peaked between her legs while they were exhaustedly sleeping and naked after their "togetherness", and I couldn't think of any reason why he would be interested in this girl. She was more than "experienced," I could tell. The Titanic hadn't been split as terribly as she. I doubt any railroads or horses in the world had been ridden as hard or as often. The American rats bragged about their "Grand Canyon," back in America, but here was something to top all holes, craters, or canyons.
After one of their sessions, the smell of coffee (which meant food may be around) brought me from my hole and into the room.
"Hi! Get out, you filthy brute!" she had said to me, before firing a shoe across the room, nearly cracking my head.
The old bloke seemed petrified of me when he heard I was scurrying about.
"Rats!," he had said, "In this room!"
I was seriously considering leaving a present on his chest the next time they woke me up with all their noises.
She described several of my kind's activities throughout the city, and he seemed horrified. He even shut his eyes tight and pleaded with her not to go on. This man was definitely going to get the fright of his life the next time he entered my room.
He had even gone pale. I couldn't help but chortling to myself.
Before they left, she stuffed my whole with some type of sacking. I couldn't chew through it. And by the time I had chewed through it, it was bunged up with plaster.
I had to leave the safety of my hole, and find a new home. I had taken to the sewers when they found me.
They were the sort of chaps that I had seen before. Vicious and cunning. They were obviously taking me to the Ministry of Love, where I knew all tortures took place.
I was in that bloody place for months, I swear it. They never turned the lights off, and they practically starved me to death. I was in the cage with some old, scaly sewer rat, clearly starving as I was.
I knew we were getting close to a massive buffet, because they stopped feeding us all together.
And then, we were in a new cage, one with a door to hold us back and a hole big enough for a human head possibly. A man came and picked us up, and walked us into another room. And there I saw him. That meager mouse of a man that had taken over my room.
He was begging and pleading with another man, but he clearly wasn't saying the right words to the bloke.
As they placed his head into the cage and got ready to open the door, I couldn't contain myself anymore. I was jumping up and down in my cage.
Suddenly, he started screaming, "Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia! I don't care what you do to her. Tear her face off, strip her to the bones, Not me! Julia! Not me!"
I turned to my cage-mate an asked, perplexed, "Does this mean we're not eating?"
We were soon turned loose back into the god awful sewers, and as soon as possible, I found another cozy little shoppe to settle down in.
But, to this day, I remember the one that got away. What a meal that would have made.
Moral of Story: If you ever have a chance to eat a human face, don't let anything stop you!
