Love is her

What is love? The most difficult question to ask with the hardest answer to define. To my mom, love is like a powerful shield. No matter what hardships you're going through, love will have your back. To her, love is having children, building an unbreakable connection. And to me? Easy. Love is her. Her blue-green eyes, shining through the darkest rooms, lighting up the most sinister nights. Love is her soft voice, the echoes of her jokes, making you the happiest girl in the word. It's her laugh, expelling all the sadness, banishing your worries. It's her silky hair, lying on your lap, coating you with her scent. And oh god, her scent. It's the kind of fragrance that makes you forget everything you ever smelled, because no matter what it was, it could never compete in any single way. My answer, and the only answer to this question is very simple. Love is her. Brittany Susan Pierce.

What love is to Brittany? Also easy. "Baby!" , Brittany shouted joyful, running to me, ready to kiss the person she missed so much during summer vacation. I smiled brightly. She's back. As she passed me, I could smell her scent again. How much I missed this. I turned around to catch her jumping into her boyfriends arms, hugging him tight. To her, love is him. Only him.

If it broke my heart, seeing my true love kissing somebody else? Take a guess. But just having the privilege of being around her makes me the happiest person on this planet. I wouldn't trade it for the world. "Dyke!" , Jackson screamed, pushing me against a locker while walking off with Brittany. If he was a jerk? Take another guess.

My favourite time of the day. Lunch. I'd always wait right before the row, till Brittany comes along. Everyday she asks me about our homework. The only reason I write them down is to hand them to Brittany. "Oh, hey Santana" , Brittany greeted, getting in the row. "Hey, didn't see you there." , smooth, Santana. Now you don't sound like the crazy stalker you are. Brittany smiled. "How are you?" , she asked, caressing my arm. Oh my, I wasn't ready for that. "I-I'm great. More than great. The greatest!" , I stuttered, making a fool out of myself. She didn't seem to mind though. Regardless, her boyfriend did. "Are you hitting on my girlfriend lesbo?" , Jackson joked, having this sarcastic tone in his voice, threatening me. "No! Of course not." , I defended myself, earning a push. I wanted to get back in the row, but he wasn't letting me. So today, there was no conversation with her. But tomorrow will be our next one. And I couldn't wait to speak to the blonde goddess again.

"Was that necessary Jackson? She's nice to me." , Brittany snapped, slightly annoyed. Her boyfriend just smiled and smacked her butt. "Maybe a little too nice, don't you think? Come on, we'll get some food. I'm starving." , the Lacrosse captain suggested, getting his lunch.

When I was just about the exit the school, I heard some strange noise. I went to check on it. The sound came from the locker room. "Brittany?" I asked shocked. There she was, sitting on the ground, crying. "Hey Santana.." , she sobbed, wiping her tears. "What's wrong?" , I tried to comfort her, so I sat next to her, looking at this beautiful human being dealing with such sadness. It was heartbreaking. "Nothing I just .. Had a fight with my coach. Nothing dramatic. I just can't deal with much critic. It's my fault." , she tried to excuse, but it didn't work. "No, fuck her. I saw you cheerleading. You're by far the best. Not only on this team but in the whole state! I've been to all your competitions. You're flawless. Trust me. It's her fault. You're literally perfect." , I consoled. As I spoke the words, she turned her head to me and looked me deeply in the eyes. I could get lost in hers.

How can she be this perfect and not even know it? "You were at my competitions?" , she asked, looking touched by my words. I just nod my head. I had been so lost in her eyes and slowly drowned in her scent. By now, I couldn't trust my words. Or myself in general.

"Jackson never showed up. Not even a single time." , she laughed, but you could see there was so much more behind that forced laugh. I wanted to tell her to stop dating that guy. To see what a jerk he was. But she loved him. Everyone saw that. I wasn't capable of breaking her heart. "I'm sure he will come to your next one. He loves you." , with having said that, I took her hand. Maybe it was a bold move, but she smiled at me and held tightly onto it.

"Is it true? The rumours about you being .. You know." , she started. "Gay?" , I finished her question, knowing she was uncomfortable. "It's true. I am." , she bit her lip after I confessed. "How is it?" , Brittany caught me off guard. "Pardon?" , I asked, widening my eyes. "How does it feel to kiss a girl?" , she was curious, I could see that. Now I'd have to disappoint her. "I don't know. I never kissed anyone." , my confession made her laugh. But as soon as she realized I wasn't joking, she apologized. "You really didn't?" , while asking that, she licked her lips, sending all the wrong signals she could have sent. I felt my palms getting sweaty, my heart racing.

She slowly leaned forward, not noticing what she was doing. I took this chance and also started getting closer to the cheerleader. She closed her eyes and I copied her. My mind shut off. The world stopped moving. For a single minute, I felt eternal happiness. Just as our lips were about to touch, she suddenly gasped, snapped back to reality and stood up. I panicked. "I'm so sorry Brittany I didn't mean to-" , she cut me off, denying my apology. "No it was my fault. I shouldn't have .. I mean I'm not .. I have a boyfriend. I'm so sorry Santana." , and with that, Brittany walked off. Leaving me confused and angry at myself in the girls locker room.

The next day had been boring. Brittany didn't even look at me, though I stared at her for hours. I still couldn't believe what happened. What almost happened. Does it mean she's perhaps also into girls? I saw her kissing Jackson, looking deeply into his eyes. She loved him, no one could deny it. And maybe I was the only one who felt the sparks, but I had to be sure.

"Brittany, wait!" , I yelled, catching up to her. "Santana, I'm really busy righ-" , she wanted to get away, but I gripped her arm. "Please. Hear me out." , my pleading voice made her think. She accepted and we searched for a place with more privacy. "I'm really, really sorry. It was all my fault. You're not into all of this, I know that. It was just stupid to think someone like you might feel someth-" she interrupted me by pressing her soft lips against mine, holding my hips in place, while pulling my body against hers. Her kiss was passionate, desperate. Although our intimate moment didn't last long, it had been powerful. My knees got weak, legs were shaking. "I am into all this. This is the problem. Not you. Please, Santana. Stay away from me. You're confusing me about things I had been sure of my entire life. I have plans, and they don't include you. Please, do me this favour. I can't do this. Goodbye, Santana." , her last words cut deeper than knives. She finally confessed. She liked me too. This is all I ever wanted. And now, knowing that even though we could make it, we won't. She left me in the janitor closed. My feelings mixed, my heart still racing, and tears streaming down my face.

It's been five months since our encounter. Brittany switched classes so she didn't have to see me. She was avoiding me big time. However, her boyfriend wasn't. It felt like he had been teasing me even more after this. During lunch, he went up to me. "Hey there, fag." , Jackson laughed and took my water. "So what's up with you and Brittany? I see you're not talking anymore. Why's that?" , he asked, noticeably amused. "Ask her. She's your girlfriend, right? Or isn't she talking to you, after realizing what a huge dick you are?" , I shot back, not sure if that wasn't the biggest mistake I could've made. Jackson didn't look too amused anymore, but didn't stop his act. "She is, different to you. Ask her, she will tell you much about the huge dick problem you just mentioned." , Jackson replied, obviously provoking me. This asshole. But I needed to stay calm, so I just smiled. "Good for you, now leave me alone." , with that, I walked off. Wondering how in the world I could be this badass.

"Jealous?" , he just yelled, making me stop. I swallowed it, not caring about what some brainless idiot thought of me. "It's hard, right? Knowing she loves me. Screaming my name every night Not yours." , the lacrosse captain announced, making me furious. "Don't talk about her like that in public, you idiot." , now it was my time to kick some ass. Nobody has the right to talk about her like that. "I talk about her the way I want. It's not like I'm the only one who sees her that way. Guys, raise your hand if you ever slept with Brittany S. Pierce." , the biggest jerk yelled, catching everybody's attention. Dozens of hands shot up, leaving me speechless. How could her boyfriend humiliate her in front of the whole school. Where even was she?

Now I saw her, standing in the doorway, watching the scenario with tears in her eyes. "Brittany" , I whispered, before I ran after her. "Go get that slut, you sick fuck. I promise, she won't even take you if you were the last human being on earth." , he shouted. But for now, I ignored him. There were more important things to deal with. Her.

"Brittany.." , I found myself whispering as I saw her. She was in the locker room again. "Santana, leave. You know I can't do this." , she turned away, not giving me a chance. "I won't. You're hurt. Let me take care of you." , I tried to take her hand, wanting to turn her around. "Just stop it!" , she roughly pushed me off, pressing her lips together. "I want to Santana. I want to, so badly.. But I can't. And you are making it harder for me. Every freaking day!" , she howled. "This isn't about us. It's about you and your boyfriend. I just wanted to solace you." , my voice got quieter the more I spoke. "You don't understand that this is indeed about us! He's not my boyfriend anymore. I broke up with him. Because I can't get you out of my head! Don't you understand that?" , she sounded so desperate, looking me deeply in my eyes. There was so much sexual tension, the room was on fire. Without any other words, I grabbed her face and kissed her hard. She instantly kissed me back, pushing me against the lockers, being rough with me. I loved the way she felt. The way she tasted and smelled. This was a dream come true. I had to enjoy every second of it. Because it wouldn't last long. She moved her lips against mine, what sent shivers down my spine, making my heart beat rapidly. My hand got lost in her long, blonde, silky hair, pulling it, making her moan. It had been the most satisfying sound I have ever heard. We suddenly pulled away, catching our breath. She looked so lost, so unsure. But also ready to take me right there. "I'm sorry." , she finally said, before she left me again. I touched my lips, not believing this had happened again. She liked me too. And she broke up with the jerk.

As I exit the locker room, Jackson and the whole lacrosse team waited for me. "What were you doing with my girlfriend?" , Jackson asked very angry at the situation. "She's not your girlfriend anymore. Suck it up." , I replied, sounding more badass than ever. He ran up to me and gripped my collar, holding me up. This didn't scare me. I had what I wanted. He couldn't do anything to ruin it for me. "I'll fucking kill you." , he threatened, punching me in my face. I had been very afraid of getting punched. But now, as the time had arrived, I didn't feel anything. Brittany's kiss protected me from the pain. He could beat me all day, I wouldn't care. All I could think of was her. My face started bleeding, I felt my bones breaking, but there was no pain coming with it. Slowly, I could feel myself losing the control over my body. I fell to the ground. Just as he was about to hit me again, she showed up. My saviour. My love. "Get off her!" , she screamed, pushing him away and getting in his way.

"Why are you doing this to us? To yourself? For her?!" , he yelled back, not buying it. But she didn't care. "Yes, for her. Now stay away. We're over!" , the blonde goddess announced, helping me stand up. "I'll take you to the school nurse." , with that, Brittany and me walked off. This had been the best day in my life so far. But I knew, from now on, I'll have loads of them.

"Tell us that story again Mom! We want to hear it again!" , Leonard asked, giving Santana the most adorable look. "Tomorrow, mi amor, I'm tired. Sleep well, I love you." , she whispered and kissed his head, before she went to Leila. "Mom, how do I know what love is?" , the eight year old girl asked her Mother, who just smiled. "You'll know when you meet your soul mate. I promise. Now go to sleep, I love you." , Santana got up, turning off the lights, closing the door. "Are they asleep?" , her blonde love asked, hugging her from behind. Santana turned around and kissed her cheek. "Yes, they are my love." Brittany smiled. "Take me to bed then, my beautiful wife." , Britt purred, caressing her wife's arm. "My pleasure." , the raven haired woman picked up her wife, carrying her in their bedroom.

What love is? It's different. Everyone has a different answer. Santana's answer always remained the same.

Love is Brittany.