Disclaimer: Don't own. Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sama and Harry Potter belongs to the honorable J. K. Rowling, to whom I dedicate this little one-shot in honor of her seventh book, which was the best book out of the entire series. I give it 20,000,000 stars for awesomeness. Finished it the day it came out. 4 hours spent reading it.
Summary: Let's compare and contrast! Naruto vs. Harry Potter! Who will come out on top?
Compare and Contrast
By: slstmaraudersjple
Naruto.
Harry Potter.
Naruto.
Harry Potter.
Naruto.
Harry Potter.
Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto.
Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling.
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Compare.
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Well, the main characters in NARUTO are UZUMAKI NARUTO, UCHIHA SASUKE, and HARUNO SAKURA.
The main characters in HARRY POTTER are HARRY POTTER, RON WEASLEY, and HERMIONE GRANGER.
TWO guys. ONE girl.
Both SAKURA and HERMIONE are SMART.
The MAIN main character in NARUTO is NARUTO.
The MAIN main character in HARRY POTTER is HARRY POTTER.
They're the GOOD guys, fighting EVIL.
And their mentors.
In NARUTO it's HATAKE KAKASHI.
In HARRY POTTER it's ALBUS DUMBLEDORE.
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Contrast.
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HARRY POTTER is a PRODIGY.
NARUTO is a GOOFBALL.
SASUKE is a PRODIGY.
RON is a GOOFBALL.
SAKURA is a GENIUS.
HERMIONE is a GENIUS.
KAKASHI is a PERVERT.
DUMBLEDORE is a GENUIS.
So we have three geniuses, two prodigies, two goofballs, and one pervert.
Dot. Dot. Dot.
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Compare.
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Both gangs fight this really evil bad guy who has SNAKES!!!
The NARUTO gang fight this bad guy with SNAKES and SOUND NIN and his name is OROCHIMARU.
The HARRY POTTER gang fight this bad guy who can TALK to SNAKES and has DEATH EATERS and his name is LORD VOLDEMORT.
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Contrast.
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The NARUTO gang are NINJA.
The HARRY POTTER gang are WIZARDS.
The NARUTO gang fight with WEAPONS.
The HARRY POTTER gang fight with SWORDS.
The NARUTO gang fight with CHARKA.
The HARRY POTTER gang fight with MAGIC.
The NARUTO gang are MUGGLES.
The HARRY POTTER gang are… well… WIZARDS.
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Compare.
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The legendary NARUTO characters are TSUNADE, JIRAIYA, and OROCHIMARU.
The legendary HARRY POTTER characters are GODRIC GRYFFINDOR, ROWENA RAVENCLAW, HELGA HUFFLEPUFF, and SALAZAR SLYTHERIN.
The NARUTO characters group in TEAMS of FOUR.
The HARRY POTTER characters group in FOUR HOUSES.
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Contrast.
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RIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Slstmaraudersjple looks up from her computer and looks around wildly, asking, "Who did that!?"
The background suddenly rips and ten people are standing behind it, arguing.
They are, from left to right: Harry Potter, Uzumaki Naruto, Ron Weasley, Uchiha Sasuke, Hermione Granger, Haruno Sakura, Albus Dumbledore, Hatake Kakashi, J. K. Rowling, and Masashi Kishimoto.
"Harry Potter wins, obviously!" J. K. Rowling shouts.
"No, my manga is better! They can cope without magic!" Masashi Kishimoto shouts back.
"Harry Potter wins! Quiddich is the best sport ever created!" J. K. Rowling shouts.
"Naruto!"
"HARRY!"
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY!"
"NARUTO!"
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY!"
"Ha! Told you!" J. K. Rowling sticks out her tongue before running over and grabbing her three main characters.
"We're gonna DUEL!" Harry shouts, pointing his wand at Naruto, who turns and drags Ron towards a ramen stand and introduces him to ramen.
Slstmaraudersjple pops out of the bushes, holding two flags. "Hi."
"Hey, it's the authoress!" Hermione shouts, waving.
Slstmaraudersjple waves back. "So… I'm referee?" She grins confusedly.
"Yes." Haruno Sakura says.
"Hn." Says Uchiha Sasuke.
"Very well," Albus Dumbledore says in a resigned voice.
Kakashi is too busy reading his 'book'.
Naruto and Ron are both eating ramen.
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ROUND ONE! Harry Potter vs. Uzumaki Naruto!
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"Bow!" Slstmaraudersjple says.
Both boys scowl at each other before bending a little.
Slstmaraudersjple drops the red flag.
"RASENGAN!" Naruto shouts, running towards Harry.
"PROTEGO!" Harry waves his wand.
The Rasengan hits the invisible wall and hits Naruto.
"Knock-out! The winner is Harry Potter!" Slstmaraudersjple waves the white flag.
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ROUND TWO! Uchiha Sasuke vs. Ron Weasley
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The red flag drops.
"Chidori." Uchiha Sasuke forms three bushin and they all rush, with Chidori, at the red-head.
"ARRGH! Bloody hell!" Ron yells, frantically trying to cast a shield charm.
Boom.
Ron flies through the air and lands unconscious on the ground.
"Uh… knock-out! Winner is Uchiha Sasuke!" Slstmaraudersjple sweat-drops, waving the white flag as she scans the horizon for Ron.
"Hn." Says Uchiha Sasuke.
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ROUND THREE! Hermione Granger vs. Haruno Sakura
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"Round three begin…" Slstmaraudersjple drops the red flag and steps back.
"Go Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouts.
"GO 'MIONE!!!" Ron shouts. (Hey, where did he come from!? Last time we checked, he was somewhere lost in the mountains!)
"Hn." Sasuke grunts.
"YOU CAN DO IT, HERMIONE!" Harry grins.
"Show them what you're made of!" Kakashi gives Sakura a thumbs-up.
"Miss Granger, you are capable of handling this. Make us proud." Albus Dumbledore says, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-crescent shaped glasses.
Sakura runs toward Hermione, kunai in one hand and shuriken in another.
"Bloody hell, bloody hell… EXPELLIARMUS!" Hermione panics, and waves her wand.
"AIIIEEEE!" Sakura screams as her weapons fly out of her hands and she is thrown backwards.
She quickly gets up and throws some kunai (with explosion tags) on them. "SAKURA FUBUKI NO JUTSU!" She shouts.
"Protego!" Hermione waves her wand.
The force of the explosion is headed towards Sakura.
Dot. Dot. Dot.
"Um… I think the winner is Hermione… since Sakura's… um… knocked out…" Slstmaraudersjple sweats as Naruto points kunai towards her.
"NARUTO!" Hermione shouts.
He drops the kunai, surprised.
"DO NOT HURT THE AUTHORESS!" She screams, pointing her wand at him.
Red sparks fly from it and Naruto yelps.
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ROUND FOUR! Hatake Kakashi vs. Albus Dumbledore
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"Round four, the teachers. Begin!" Slstmaraudersjple drops the flag.
Kakashi instantly disappears.
Albus Dumbledore stands in the middle of the battlefield, looking very calm and relaxed.
Suddenly, a shower of kunai and shuriken fly towards his direction.
"PROFESSOR, LOOK OUT!" Hermione screams, her hands covering half her face.
"DUCK!" Ron shouts at the same time.
"USE A SHIELD CHARM!" Harry shouts.
Albus Dumbledore simply stands there as the weapons fly closer…
And closer…
And –
Hey, look! It's FAWKES!!!
Ta-daaa!
Fawkes swoops in and swallows the weapons, and reduces to a ball of fire. When the fire dies down, there's a ugly little birdie, whom Dumbledore picks up and tucks in a fold of his pocket.
Kakashi suddenly appears, looking befuddled. Then he disappears again.
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3 hours later
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Hatake Kakashi appears before Albus Dumbledore, and sinks down to his knees.
"ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN! WHERE IS IT!?!?!?" He demands, looking on the verge of tears.
"I have no idea what you are implying, Mister Kakashi." Dumbledore replies.
"MY BOOK!" Kakashi wails.
"I thought of it as a valuable hostage, seeing as Fawkes swooped in, swallowed the weapons, and dropped something in my pocket. But here it is." Dumbledore reaches into a fold of his sleeve and pulls out an orange book.
"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! I FORFEIT! JUST GIVE ME MY BOOK!!!" Kakashi shouts.
Startled, Dumbledore hands him the book.
Slstmaraudersjple frowns and holds up a white flag. "And the winner is Albus Dumbledore."
"GOOD JOB, PROFESSOR!" Hermione, Ron, and Harry jump up and down.
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ROUND FIVE! J. K. Rowling vs. Masashi Kishimoto
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Slstmaraudersjple holds up the red flag. "Bow."
Both authors bow to each other and turn around, walking five steps.
Slstmaraudersjple drops the red flag. "Begin."
Instantly, both authors whirl around to face each other.
"I'm a third degree black belt in taekwondo!" J. K. Rowling says.
"Well, I've taken hapkido for twelve years!" Masashi Kishimoto says.
"I can play tennis."
"I can play basketball."
"I play cricket."
Kishimoto scowls. "I can draw."
"I write. My books are a best-selling series. I'm richer than Queen Elizabeth II."
Queen Elizabeth II bursts into the scene, sobbing. "Oh, all right, Mrs. Rowling! I admit, you are a talented author, and that's why you earn so much! I'm just an old lady who just happens to be the Queen of England!" And runs away crying, with guards following her.
"Nice one. Well, I've been drawing since I was in middle school!" Kishimoto says.
"I'm married and I have kids!"
"I'm single and lovin' it!"
"I am J. K. Rowling, authoress of the HARRY POTTER series, a series of SEVEN books, all of which are bestsellers!"
"I am Masashi Kishimoto, author of the NARUTO series, an ongoing series that is very popular!"
"Mine are known all over the world!"
"Mine are known all over the world, in TV shows!"
"Mine have been made into movies!"
"There are four Naruto movies!"
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6 hours later
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"I own a cat!"
"I hate pets!"
"I'm a woman! Women first!"
"…"
"Ha!"
Kishimoto scowls. "Screw that rule! Naruto rules!"
"Harry Potter!"
"Naruto!"
"Harry Potter!"
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY POTTER!"
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY POTTER!"
"ENOUGH!" Slstmaraudersjple slams a fist and both fall down unconscious.
"It's a tie!" She declares cheerfully.
Immediate protests.
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY POTTER!"
"WE'RE NINJA!"
"WE'RE WIZARDS!"
"EVERYBODY LOVES NINJA!"
"EVERYBODY LOVES WIZARDS!"
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY POTTER!"
"NARUTO!"
"HARRY POTTER!"
"ENOUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Slstmaraudersjple screams.
Complete, utter silence.
"We'll let the readers decide!" She says cheerfully.
"Yeah, let's do that!" Ron shouts.
"I second that!" Naruto agrees cheerfully.
"It's logical." Harry says, shrugging.
Hermione and Sakura both nod.
"Hn." Sasuke grunts.
Kakashi is reading his book.
Dumbledore is quiet.
Both authors are still unconscious.
Slstmaraudersjple looks directly at the reader.
That's right. You.
YOU.
YOU.
YOU.
Y
O
U
You.
The power of a vote is entitled to YOU.
Please vote for the winner: Naruto or Harry Potter.
Thank you very much.
END.
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Author's Note: That's not really the end. I'll post up the results as soon as I think the votes are unanimous.
