Shattered Memories
It feels like so many years have gone by, since I have found out the truth. It's as if I have been asleep, as if I were dead. It is snowing now, it feels so cold. I thought I had a life, a life with two loving parents and a world that transformed my happiness. Now it seems as if it was a lie, and I have been taken back into reality. I have been going to this dark, dank facility for a while now. My therapist is starting to become part of me. I only go here because I am supposedly 'crazy'. I guess it only seems right since I imagined my father being my knight in shining armor, a make believe fantasy of what was. I tried so hard to remember what was what but I guess I just got too far into my alternate world. I never really knew what happened that day, when I was recording my young life. Mom and Dad were fighting; apparently they did not love each other anymore. They said 'It's for the best sweetie; even if we don't love each other anymore we will never stop loving you'. I watched as my Dad took his suit cases and drove away, never to be seen again. Even though my life was a lie I still want to find more answers, I knew that there is more than what people are telling me. I want to search around Silent Hill, go back to the town where it all happened.
I met up with the police officer of the town, Cybil. She told me she could bring up some files on my Dad. I was hoping that there would be an address to the house he lived in. I wanted to find out if he even had at least one item that involved a resemblance of me. I was pacing around the police station muttering because she was taking so long, so I began to look around; put my tedious mind at ease. There were a lot of lost souls in Silent Hill even some in Shepherd's Glen. I wonder if any of these children have loving parents, they should not be lost. I don't understand how a parent could let their child get swept away by strangers in this huge world.
"Cheryl?" I was brought out of my thoughts.
"Oh yes? I'm sorry I was admiring your handy work" I gestured towards the photographs on the walls.
"Oh yes, I do enjoy trying to find the poor souls" her mood began to dampen; an awkward tension forming between us.
"Well anyways I found the records on your father", she handed me the tan cover as she continued to talk. "Everything should be there, nothing missing or anything". I grasped the file and clutched it to my chest. I felt a sense of excitement knowing that the truth, everything that could be linked to my past was inches from my fingertips.
"Thanks again Officer Cybil, you have been so much help; I don't know how to thank you" I replied curtly.
"Oh it was no problem at all, you're a good kid Cheryl; always have" she smiled right at me with a small pull of her mouth. I paused for a moment before actually leaving the Station. Everything seemed so quiet yet gloomy around Silent Hill, it seemed different from what I remembered or possibly imagined. I sat down on a nearby bench; it was close to the lake lighthouse where my Dad used to take me fishing; The Lake glistening from the moonlight. I began to open the file and read over the papers with information on my father; I looked around scanning the words and finally came upon an address.
"207 Toulca Road…." I glanced around; I noticed it wasn't far from here. I gently put the files in there order and began to walk. The night air grew cold and everything became silent. I heard a loud crackling sound coming from all around. The whole street was icing over, my breathing became labored. I started to sprint around mindlessly since I did not know where to go. I took a sharp turn around a nearby corner and noticed I was right in front of the house.
"Dad…" My voice seemed to drift off into the night air. It was as if I was in a trance, my legs were moving on their own accord. My hand crept up slowly to the door handle and I turned the knob open. I looked inside the house; I walked in absent mindedly closing the door.
It was so dark inside; I looked around for a light switch. I spent practically hours searching until I finally realized that I had a flashlight. I pulled it out and flicked the switch; scanning the area. There were many pictures of me; I recognized my smiling face in every frame. I started feeling confused, he wasn't my father. I heard a high pitched scream that made me jump out of my skin. I turned around face to face with a grotesque fleshy body with claws for hands. Raw Shock I thought to myself. It started chasing me so I had to sprint like hell. I turned off my flash light and ran for the nearest room.
"Damn it…" I cursed under my breath and tried searching in the room for a sturdy weapon; I found the nearest pipe and griped it tightly. I was panting and waiting for the slightest sound; so out of breath and my eyes were darting in every direction. I heard the padding feet of the monster closest to the door. I didn't know what to expect so I readied the pipe I was holding. Two monsters came through the door animalistic twin screams filled the air. I ran right past them knocking over a nearby shelf to slow them down. They came right after me at a sprinting speed; a blood thirsty look in their cold eyes. I locked the door and began searching for a different weapon. I was shuffling through every drawer, throwing the empty slots around the room. I finally came upon a pistol and almost screamed in joy, I took the safety off and put the pipe in my left hand. I exited through another door and was finally in the kitchen. A Smog entered the room and was walking at an increasingly slow pace. I held up the pistol and waited for the ribs to spread apart so I could get a good shot. It began to open, smoke filling the air and the groaning coming from deep within its body. I took that opportunity to shoot, lifting my pistol not once letting my mind drift. I shot right at its heart causing it to scream in pain and landed with a thud to the ground. Red liquid pooled along the floor, black charcol swirling into the plasma. It was so cold in the house that I began to shiver like crazy. The adrenalin rush I had made me shudder and I felt as if I couldn't support my body. I stopped in the nearby bathroom and decided to try and breathe. I finally registered my normal breathing rate and stayed quiet. I didn't want to alert any nearby monsters that I was hiding; I closed my eyes and just wanted to think.
"God I am running through and endless nightmare". That's when it came to me, all I have to do is find the exit and wake up. I crept towards the door and peeked through, I saw a Feral sniffing the area; it was on its guard ready to pounce. I shoved the pistol into my pocket and decided to take out the damn dog. There were no other monsters in the area to worry about and it seemed like a good moment to get rid of it. I gripped the metal pipe tightly it my hands, the bent end of it ready to hit the dog square in the head. The dog turned to leave making it off guard to my attack. I opened the door slowly and swung the blunt end hitting the Feral right on its back bone. It turned in anger and was ready to leap, but I swung the pipe under it knocking the dog off balance. It yipped once and lay on the ground, its breathing labored. I ran around to the other side and began beating the dog, each time hitting the head. I could hear the sickening noise of its skull breaking but I couldn't stop. Blood stained my face as well as my clothes. Blood sprayed along the walls, the once warm blood now ice cold. Once I knew the dog was dead I made a run for it; slamming through all the doors with no care in the world, I just wanted out. I finally made it to a large door and pushed right through, everything seemed to brighten and everything was in its normal state. I found myself outside the house, as if I was just about to enter.
"Holy Hell…" I slowly paced away feeling as jittery as ever. My head was spinning, and everything became blurry. My legs were so wobbly that I seemed to limp out onto the street. The last thing I saw was the moonlight shining on a nearby billboard and everything went black.
I woke up smelling the synthetic scent of vaccine. I looked around and noticed I was connected to an I.V.
"Ugh…." I grabbed my head in pain. It felt as if my brain was ready to jump out and run off.
"Cheryl? Oh thank goodness you're alright!" I looked over and unintentionally glared at my guest. It turned out that Cybil had found me passed out on the street and immediately took me to the E.R.
"Oh Hello Officer Cybil" I replied hoarsely. "How long was I out?" I sat up straight and looked her straight in the eye.
"A few hours give or take; the doctors said you went in and out of a comma!" She leaned over and handed me a small plastic cup filled with water; I took it gladly and gave her a look of thanks.
"So how did you manage to pass out in the middle of a street?" Cybil asked me leaning back in her chair eyeing my every move.
"Well it's kinda hard to explain" I started off. "It's just…" I turned my gaze, directing it at the door. I felt as if I was lying to her but she wouldn't believe me.
"Cut the crap Cheryl, you don't have to lie" she began off stern and strong. "You can just tell me if you have been having the hallucinations again" she crossed her arms over her chest, a slight pout forming.
"I'm not having any damn hallucinations! I'm not crazy!" I yelled at her throwing the plastic cup straight across the room. "I'm leaving this dump" I started disconnecting the I.V. attached to my body as the rest of the equipment stuck on my skin. The monitors began beeping like crazy, I grunted as I got up, trying to ignore the noise. Cybil began yelling at me but I ignored her anger; I just walked past her and headed straight for the door, that's when she yanked me back and held firmly.
"Cheryl! You're not well! Get back in that bed and rest! Just shut your mouth and do what you're told for once!"
"You know what?" I rasped; I shoved her off violently sending her falling backwards in an attempt to steady herself.
"I have accepted the fact that my father is damn well dead!" I roared. "I have been in a stupid rehab facility for months after I realized it was all some delusion!" My tremors shook. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I want to find some answers?" my hands were clenched in tight fists; I was so ready to land a punch.
Cybil ran a shaking hand through her hair. "I never thought about it that way Cheryl…God I just don't know what else I can say…"
"Of course, as usual nobody thinks of any other objective to my motives" I spat back. The nurse entered in quickly and gasped in utter shock.
"Why aren't you connected to you monitors? You want to get better do you not?" She put a gentle hand on me, guiding me towards the bed. "I think it is time for you to leave" she gestured towards Cybil; "Cheryl needs some rest, it is best for you to visit tomorrow" she began to usher her out through the door. Cybil took one last glance at me and exited, I was finally at ease. "Well I am done making my rounds, so don't do anything to harm yourself while I am gone!" the nurse exclaimed. These people must be hyped up on drugs or something, this nurse seemed so jittery. I lay back as soon as she left; I decided it was probably best to sleep.
I awoke the next morning feeling light headed. What in gods name did they give me? My vision was blurry for the first few seconds but it finally came to; the nurse once again entered in.
"Oh Miss Cheryl you're awake! Do you need anything? I bet you are really hungry" she began to fiddle with my monitors, checking if everything was in its place.
"When can I be discharged" I replied glumly. I wasn't in the mood for all the happy go lucky vibe she was giving off.
"Well you have been in and out of a severe coma so probably not for a few days" she had a reassuring voice.
"But I am perfectly fine; all that these meds are causing me is more of a headache". I was angry so I had to find a way to get her to let me leave.
"Well…." She looked from her left and right, "I guess you are right since I have been checking on you and you seem to be at your normal rate" she began to unhook me from the machines. "This is the only time I have ever done this, just sneak out the back door and do not get caught." I nodded and began to change into my normal clothes.
"Please Miss Cheryl if any pain returns please come back, I don't want you to injure yourself more than it needs to be" she gave me a pathetic sad look. I ignored her suggestion and quickly left the building.
I began my trek back to my small apartment; I wanted to go over those files again. I hopped the fence behind the hospitals parking lot and was glad that I wasn't as light headed anymore. I finally came upon my apartment and opened the door. Everything still seemed to be in place; trudging over I plopped down on my small couch and leaned back, lazily opening the file. I must have been reading these papers for hours until I found something that caught my eye. My mother's name; I felt like smacking my head into a wall. My mother could be the link to finding out the truth, better yet more information. I wrote down the address and headed down to my car. My mother lived out in Shepards Glen; I forgot what was out there. She moved us there right after Dad left; it was a dark time in my past. It is about a 3 hour drive from Silent Hill, I hoped I had enough gas. I stood up and gathered my things, I needed to hurry. I sprinted down my apartment stairs and headed out to my car. This was going to be once long, excruciating drive.
I looked around the scenery, it seemed to take my mind off things and leave me at ease. I finally realized that I was finally in Shepards Glen. There were so many houses out here, but yet there weren't as many people. I looked at the file and began looking for my mother's house; it wasn't as hard to find since it stuck out like a sore thumb. I came up to the door and knocked once. I heard a rustling from the door and some locks being unlatched.
"Cheryl? What…. Oh lord, what are you doing all the way out here?" My mother stood in the door way, her weight shifted to one hip and a frown set on her face.
"Sorry I came unannounced but I had to come see you" I leaned in and gave my mother a light hug.
"Well I am not mad at you or anything since you are always welcome, but a call would be nice" she chuckled to herself and let me in. I followed behind her slowly and plopped down on the couch.
"Would you like me to get you some tea?" she sat up dusting invisible dust off her skirt.
"Sure Mom" I smiled at her just to please her. She turned on her heel and put the kettle on.
"So while we wait what did you want to see me so bad for?" She plopped down on the chair opposite to me and brushed her bangs back.
"Well, it is actually about Dad" I wanted to start off slow and not come on too strong; 'Dad' is not a topic Mom loves discussing about.
Her jaw suddenly went slack but she soon recovered and cleared her throat. "Yes, what would you like to ask about your Father" there was a slight crack in her voice.
"Was the Dad I thought about really a lie? Or was I just too overwhelmed about his death?" I leaned forward locking gaze with my Mother. Before she could respond the kettle began to scream; instantly causing her to get up, she paused and just told me to hold that thought. I slouched back as I heard her getting the tea set; she came back in quickly and handed me a cup, reclaiming her spot across from me.
"Honey, before I answer you I want you to know you are not crazy" she sat back down locking gaze with me again. I grumbled slightly but encouraged her to go on. Her gaze dropped but she smiled and continued her story, "He was a good Father Cheryl, he loved you so much".
I bit my lip I really wanted her to just cut to the chase but I held my tongue.
"Oh god I just can't lie anymore" she began to tear up and held her head in her lap.
"What do you mean?" I leaned up, interested in what she said.
"Do you remember the day I told you your Father died?" She looked up with her eyes red and puffy.
"Yes I remember quite vaguely that you came into my room and told me slowly that he died in a fatal car accident" I sipped some more tea and kept a straight face.
"Well, he….Ugh I am so sorry Cheryl" she kept her head down, but looked up at me once again. "He was just a fragment of your fantasy"; "You became very sick after I told you, always denying he was dead".
My face continued to look blank; "What?" I stupidly replied. She was about to respond but I stopped her; "So you lied to me?" I kept my gaze at the ground. "The only person I trusted lied to me?" I stood up and turned my head, I couldn't even look at her. "You know, I think it is your fault my life is messed up Mom", her eyes widened and she began to wail. "Everything is just so messed up now" I ran a hand through my hair. "From now on you will never be considered my Mother" I spat at her. "No Mother should lie to her own daughter". I was about to leave when I heard that crackling sound again; it became so cold, my mother frozen in her position wailing in her chair.
I swore under my breath, another nightmare. I ran into the kitchen and tried to find a weapon. The only weapons I had were a flashlight and a pistol with only three rounds in it. I opened a nearby closet and found a rifle taking off the safety and cautiously walking around. I searched around some more, needed to find at least one more weapon to equip with. I heard a groaning sound coming from around the corner. I panted and ran into yet another room coming across a crowbar; I gripped it tightly in my left hand and stood in a corner waiting. A Feral entered in angry and blood thirsty, it growled at me grunting, ready to pounce. It took a leap for my but I landed a blow right into its neck. The sound of flesh ripping filled my ears. I cringed at the sound and turned my gaze away. Blood pooled everywhere; I listened as its last breath taken away; it lay there still and unmoved. I sprinted around trying to avoid all of the monsters; after all they were looking for me. I turned a sharp corner and came face to face with a Raw Shock. It howled into the air, its breath turning into clouds of white. It looked so disgusting with no flesh or a face, just muscle tissue. I took out the rifle and it took two shots to the head. A high pitched scream echoed off the walls; it fell with a 'thud' against the floor. So much blood stained into my shirt and left a crimson pool on the floor.
"Cheryl…" a breathy voice called out to me. I stopped right in my tracks and looked around; "Cheryl; help me…" a pleading tone in its voice.
"Dad…." I ran trying to follow the sound of his voice; I was bursting through every door taking everything down.
"Cheryl…" it seemed to be coming from the bedroom. My eyes started to water as I crept to the door slowly; to my utter shock I saw my Dad attached to a stretcher.
"Dad!" I tried running towards him but for some reason my legs wouldn't move.
"Cheryl please, the pain is just too much", tears streamed down his face landing on the floor with a soft 'plit plit'.
So many things were running through my mind, I just didn't know what to do. I slowly approached him; I dropped to my knees and sobbed. "How could I let this happen to you" I choked out; "I'm so sorry Daddy" I clung to his legs, my body going limp.
"Sweetie it's not your fault" he smiled down at me. I must have looked so pathetic, tears rimming my eyes. "I just never loved you enough", his smile faltered and he turned his gaze away from me.
"No! You loved me so much, but you were just a fragment in my imagination" I hugged him tightly hiccupping into his neck. He set his face next to mine and we stood for the longest time, connected. He began to scream out in pain, I backed away instantly hearing the rusty gears turning. His limbs were being stretched away further from his body. The sound stopped and his breathing was ragged.
"Cheryl please, end my life now" he pleaded; "I would rather have my own daughter kill me than die a slow painful death full of sin". I cried out in sadness I could never kill my own father, I would live with the guilt forever; the pain living within me.
"I-I can't" I put my head into my hands and wailed.
"Cheryl please! You must put me out of this pain" he grounded out. The guilt set in, my heart was clenching so hard. I whimpered and held up the rifle; my hands were shaking so hard, I could barely see straight. My pointer finger was on the trigger and tears stained wet tracks down my face.
"Cheryl, I love you so much and I am sorry" he closed his eyes and relaxed his body. I shut my eyes and fell to the floor, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Just as I looked up a huge monster approached my Father. He had a huge pyramid shaped head and wielded a large scythe like sword. Placing the sword between my Father and he was sliced right in half. The sound of metal ripping flesh was ringing in my ears. I watched in horror as he was murdered right before my eyes; I held my hands to my ears trying to block out the sound. Once he was finally dead the monster walked away trudging solely into the distance. The nostalgic scent of blood had my stomach to turn; I began retch all over the floor. I stood in front of his body, blood streaming out in all directions. I was opening and closing my mouth, no sound coming out. I dropped to my knees and cradled my body. I lay in his blood, my once white shirt now a deep red. I began to close my eyes; empty tears flowing out the corners. It was so still, so silent and almost peaceful. I opened my mouth and breathed out one last time, "Daddy it's so cold".
