Bird Porn
(or, Very random strange things you learn on Google when Daphne gets nostalgic about The Swan Princess)
by AHS
"Huh. Well, that's pretty ironic." *laugh*
"What the fuck are you giggling about?"
"I wasn't giggling. But I do find it funny that the peacock doesn't have one."
"One what?"
"A cock! Only 3% of male bird species have a penis, apparently, and it's not one of them."
"This is what you're doing on my computer? Why aren't you watching porn like a normal horny homo teen?"
"Believe me, we will be in a minute. Though I don't know if we'll see anything quite as impressive as the… Argentine lake duck."
"I fucked an Argentinean once… a man, not a duck, thank you… As I recall, he represented his country well."
"Was his dick as tall as he was?"
"What?"
"This duck! Its penis is as long as its body! And corkscrew-shaped. Yikes. Hey, there's a picture… Holy shit, that is weird."
"Okay, that's it. You stay here and fuck a duck. I'm going out."
"Brian, I thought we were going to…"
"You're the one all wrapped up in your bird porn!"
*stifled giggle* "Brian, come here… you sexy swan, you."
"This better not be a new fetish of yours."
"I'm just saying! Swans are long and lean and revered for their beauty. The males are endowed. And they've been observed to display homosexual behavior."
"This fucking swan's got something you can observe up close."
*whisper* "And they mate for life." *swallowed by a kiss*
"…What'd you say?"
"Nothing."
