After Life

It is funny how I ended up in prison only to learn how to live, realize even someone like me had value and could really love and be loved in return. But most paradoxical was I discovered a healthy respect for my own life with the help and love of someone you would least expect…a two time murderer serving life behind bars. And in the short time we had together we lived and loved a life time.

Allie awoke and returned from the hospital to her life in prison being completely different. Her heart broke into that day and did not heal for a long, long time. Since Bea had no one on the outside to collect her few meager belongings Ms. Bennett had allowed Allie to take what she wanted before removing her teal uniforms and a couple of towels that were the property of the prison.

In the beginning Allie suffered from severe depression and truthfully Ms. Westfall was a God send because she had saved Allie's life more than a few times simply by talking her down from the ledge that her world teetered upon.

With the help of some good sessions with Ms. Westfall and some good drugs for depression Allie pulled through and pieced her life back together. No it was not the kind of life she had created before for herself inside the prison walls nor did she return to the drugs. But it was a life that helped her to get through ten years inside these walls without her Bea.

She remained friends with Booms, Maxi, Sonia, and Liz until each one had completed their sentences and were sent back out into the world. But Kaz well she never had much to do with her after her return to prison again and that included all the girls of the RRH.

Many new prisoners came into Wentworth bringing their trouble with them but somehow ironically none of it seemed to touch Allie. The prison ran ramped with drugs but they no longer held the sway over Allie they once had, not even in her darkest moments did she consider using again. No she kept her promise to her lover and remained clean.

It took the Governor a few years after the mess the Freak left behind to convince the board to implement a couple of educational programs but they finally relented and Allie took advantage of those too during her time on the inside. In fact the day she walked outside the gates of Wentworth a free woman she had earned a business degree and a liberal arts degree.

The day of her release only Maxi was left of the original gang to give her a sendoff, and of course Franky was there waiting for her outside of the gates but the one that surprised her the most however, was Linda Miles.

Allie almost missed her as Mr. Jackson escorted her to the exit door moments after she had said her final goodbyes to those that mattered to her anymore. Linda came rushing down the hall and stopped them at the last minute.

Allie I have something for you that I have been keeping for a long time…you know waiting for just the right moment and all. Well anyway here you go and good luck Allie. She pressed two frames into Allie's hands and as Allie looked down she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Looking back at her with smiling faces was Bea. One was a photo of that eventful day they had taken a leisurely stroll back from the shower in their bathrobes announcing to the whole prison they were officially a couple. The other had been taken during their yard time when neither of them noticed anyone else but each other…the day they dreamed of seahorses!

There they were lying in the grass as close as they could be with stupid smiles on their faces, sharing a secret only meant for the two of them.

A few tears had dripped off the end of Allie's chin as she looked at the treasures she had just been handed and she carefully wiped the glass clean with her fingertips as she thanked Ms. Miles and simply said how?

Cell phones are a wonderful thing and well I thought of giving them too you long ago but then well, you know how it is around here so I have been keeping them safe for you until today.

Thank you Ms. Miles this is means more to me than you will ever know.

It's time to go Ms. Novak, Mr. Jackson said tugging on her arm. I am sure you don't want to be here a moment longer and good luck Allie.

Thanks Mr. Jackson no offense but I don't ever want to see this place again.

I understand Ms. Novak, I really do. Now go on get out of here, he said with a smile on his face.

Looking back as the final gate to the prison closed to the place that had been my home for the last twelve years I smiled with the knowledge I was taking so much more with me than I had entered those gates with when I first arrived.

I would always carry Bea's love with me in my heart until my heart beat no more but accompanying that love was her strength and belief in me Allie Novak. Bea's strength had supported me when I was too weak to be strong on my own and her love gave me the courage to change my life for the better. So now it was my turn to be the strong one and live out the rest of my days in such a way as to honor her.

Standing in the middle of the cemetery looking down at the twin markers of my lover and her daughter I smiled as the gentle breeze brushed against my skin as I placed the flowers into the matching vases. In my mind I could still hear the rare sound of Bea's laughter making fun of me for being so emotional in this moment.

Suddenly I felt a hand upon my arm just as my ears picked up the whispered, what's wrong?

Looking over at my own beautiful redhead I wiped my tears and said don't worry, it's ok these are just happy tears sweetheart, tears of thankfulness. I will always be grateful to her; it's because of her that I have you. She taught me what love really was and the importance of sharing that kind of love and she is the reason you are here today my beautiful daughter…simply because she loved me first and foremost when I could not love myself.

Come on Gracie B let's go home. How about I buy us pizza for dinner? How does that sound my beautiful girl? I love you to the moon and back pulling her in for a quick hug as I turned and walked hand in hand with my daughter looking forward to a night of cuddling on the couch with the TV and greasy pizza, enjoying a moment of togetherness that never lasted long enough even though you wished it would. But the memories would stay with you forever just as they were meant too.