Ok, here's my first chapter of Behind the Magic of Hogwarts. It has EVERYONE in it, not just the trio or Harry or anything. It just has a HUGE variety, something good for everyone. My friends and I wrote this from things we thought were good or things we thought were funny. There are some inside jokes, but they do get explained (see Pansy's V.I.B. Syndrome, later chapter). Please read and I hope you like it!!! -PropertyOfDracoMalfoy
P.S.- when Lusius uses italics, that's him "hissing."
CHAPTER ONE: Small Cheese and Frosted Flakes
Harry was staring at the miniscule portion of cheese the Dursleys gave him for Kwanza.
"Dudykins! Come down from your room so you can open your Kwanza presents!" his aunt Petunia called upstairs to Harry's corpulent cousin.
Dudley ran downstairs, shaking the whole house with every step. He skipped cheerfully into the living room and gazed lovingly at all his presents. After a moment his face became serious.
"How many are there?" he asked.
"Thirty-five, I counted them myself," said Dudley's enormous father.
"But last year I got thirty-six for Kwanza and Christmas and Hanukkah and my birthday!" he exclaimed, once again shaking the whole house.
"Do you fools even know what Kwanza is?" Harry asked, after observing the scene.
"Do not call us fools, boy, and of course we know what Kwanza is if we're celebrating it! It's a holiday at the end of July where you give gifts to people! Don't ask such silly questions, boy!" Harry's aggravated uncle yelled with his double chin shaking like jell-o.
"I'm surrounded by morons," Harry mumbled, hanging his head low.
"What did you say?!" Vernon roared, his face now an atrocious shade of maroon.
"Nothing," Harry said, "Don't even think about it."
But his uncle wasn't. He was too busy listening to Dudley.
"So, what are you going to do about my lack of presents?" Dudley asked, looking to his parents.
"We couldn't afford to get you any more presents, since we got the boy some cheese," Aunt Petunia said, trying to comfort her son.
"Why did you have to give him cheese? Give me that," he said while grabbing Harry's cheese and stuffing it in his face.
"Oh, Ickle Dudikins! We'll go to the store soon and get you some more presents, ok?" Petunia asked, rubbing Dudley's shoulders, trying to calm him down.
"Fine mum. Let's go. But can he stay home?" he said, pointing an accusing finger towards Harry.
"Of course," said Vernon, pausing for a whole thirty seconds to get out of his chair because he was so fat. "We would never actually take him with us. What would the neighbors say?"
"Yay!" Dudley exclaimed and dashed to the car, shaking the house once more. "Hurry up, mummy and daddy! We should be going!"
"Yes Duddey, we're coming!" said Petunia as her and her husband ran out of the house and seated themselves inside the car. They backed their automobile down the driveway, down the road, and out of sight.
MEANWHILE AT THE MALFOY MANOR …
Malfoy woke up and stretched. Today was one of the last days he had until school starts, and he wanted to make the best of it. He got out of bed, got dressed, and headed to the kitchen. There he grabbed a bowl of his favorite cereal and took a seat at the dining room table.
"They're grrrreat!" he exclaimed to his father who didn't understand his love for this fantastic muggle cereal.
His father stared at him as if his son was an alien from another universe.
Narcissa walked in with her white-blonde hair flowing in an imaginary breeze.
"Hello Draco, honey! Hello … Lucius," she said, greeting her beloved son and her regretful husband.
"Good morning, mum," Draco said joyfully to his mother.
"Hello, darling," said Lucius in a hushed tone.
"Draco!" his mother said, "are you excited about starting school in two days?"
"Oh, mother, I'm always excited to start school!" Draco said, then under his breath, "To get away from father."
"What was that, Draco?" his father hissed.
"Oh, nothing," said Draco, " I just said that I will miss you and mother."
"Ok, that's what I thought you said," Lucius said, returning his attention to the Daily Prophet.
Just then, two owls swooped in from the window and landed on the table in front of them. They both turned to Draco and stuck their legs outwards toward him, where a letter was tied to each owl.
Draco reached out and untied the letters carefully from each owl. Once he untied the letters, both owls flew out the window, on their way back home.
Draco inspected the letters. "Hey, they're from Crabbe and Goyle!" he said and opened the first letter. Inside was a piece of parchment with scribbles that would be unidentifiable to most people, but Draco knew what it said.
Crabbe and Goyle were probably the two dumbest kids at school, and didn't know how to write well. Draco found this annoying, but over time began to ignore it and learned how to read their handwriting.
He read Crabbe's letter, then Goyle's. They didn't write anything special, only that Crabbe got a new broom and Goyle had steak for dinner. Good ol' Crabbe and Goyle. Even though they were embarrassing and didn't understand much, they were his two best friends and nothing would tear them apart.
Or so he thought …
Soooo ... what did you think? PLEASE REVIEW! I don't care if you hated it, I just REALLY want to read what you think.I'll be posting the next chapter REALLY soon, so keep reading!!!
