PHOENIX WRIGHT TURNABOUT NEW YEAR
BY BARRYLAWN
one day
no
not just any "one day"
NEW YEARS DAY
or the day before it anyway
phoenix wright was in town with apollo justice and athena cykes
there were lots of people there to celebrate the new year
"APPY NEW YEAR PEOPLES" shouted ron juicy
"GUYS A GOAT TURNED INTO A HUMAN 2016" shouted muddy fukter
"GEORGIAS NEW YEARS PARTY IS BETTER" shouted detective george
phoenix was drinking at the bar with zoo mann and pen pincher
"why are some of the killers from my cases out of jail" said phoenix drunkly
"cause we were released just for these happy days cause 2016 is finally ded" said mann
"lol ok i dont remember u tho who are u" said phoenix
"what how cud u forget me, u threw me in jail i worked at the zoo"
"sorry dont remember u"
"ugh ur stupid shit die" said guy in black
"that was quite rude" said guy in white
then someone who looked like horace nightly sat down
"ohai nightly" said phoenix
"his name is NAITOU" shouted the guy
"ohaiiii BP, fix new years turnabout pls" said phoenix
before bp could say anythin the countdown started
"3 2 1 HAPPY NEW-"
"HOLD IT"
just then a red alien from the moon fell down with a jet packs' parachute and screamed
"IM LATE FOR THE PARTY, BUT THAT IS IRELEVANT FOR RIGHT NOW, SOMEONE JUST GOT MURDERRRRRED"
"WHAT UR FUCKING WITH ME" shouted phoenix but everyone ran to the hill and saw a dead body
AND THERE WAS MAYA NEXT TO IT
"MAYA WHAT DID YOU DO" phoenix ran to her "ewww you didnt bath thats what you did"
"ur under arrest maya" said detective george arresting her
"NO ILL SAVE U MAYA" shouted phoenix
phoenix searched the crime scene and found a note saying who the killer was
AND IT WASNT MAYA
he tried to read it but then someone came and took it and made it DISAPPEAR
"what HEY BRO, WHO DO U THINK U ARE"
and then he turned and it was... HARRY POTTERR?!
"ha i escaped from jail" said harry
"you AGAIN" said phoenix "uve been villain so much i dont even hate u any more tbh"
"but im not villin, i just got rid of evidence to fuck with u"
"OHHHH FUCK U HARRY"
phoenix went to hit him but he vanished back to jail
===AT THE TRIAL===
"COURT is in session" said judge ghost layton
"i am ready" said phoenix
"prosecutor kyle rivers is also ready" said kyle
"WHAT" shouted phoenix "but ur a defense attorney"
"new years lets us do whatever" said kyle "now can i make an opening statement pls?"
"yes" said layton
"ok" said rivers "i call detective george to explain for me"
so detective george came
"hello stupid los angeles people come to georgia its great there"
"TESTIFY" shouted kyle
"ok ok"
===TESTIMONY===
"the victim was jet packs"
"he died on the moment of new years day"
"we dont have an autopsy report cause the guys who do that are on vacation"
"anyway maya killed him"
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix presenting the "FUCK I DONT HAVE IT"
"to be quite firm mr wright u are wasting the courts time" said layton giving him a penalty
"dammmmmmmmmmIT" shouted phoenix
"now i call my witness to the stand" said rivers
the red alien came to the stand
"hi im red alien this is my testimony"
===WITNESS TESTIMONY===
"jet packs was a guy who lived on the moon (read phoenix wright MOON attorney)"
"today everyone on the moon visited earth for new years day"
"before i landed i heard screaming and saw packs gasp in pain and die"
"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "what were we screaming about"
"well i heard "HEY ITS ALMOST NEW YEARS"
"OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix "ALMOST NEW YEARS MEANS IT WASNT NEW YEARS"
"NOOOO" screamed red
"OBJECTION" shouted kyle "what does this mean"
"it means that the murder happened earlier than we thought... FIVE SECONDS EARLIER"
"OBJECTION" shouted kyle "HE STILL SAW MAYA ON THE SCENE THOUGH"
"wat" said red
"wa... DIDNT U"
"no... i saw a goat"
"YOU SAW GOAT" shouted phoenix "BUT I DEFENDED HIM LIKE 7 MONTHS AGO"
"also he lives too far away" said kyle
phoenix thought how goat could be there and thne he remembered maya smelled like shit
"OH SHIT" shouted phoenix "goat could have been there... IF MAYA CHANNELED HIM"
"WHAT HES DEAD"
"i guess" said phoenix "maya u were there at the trial for like a second, u saw his face, channel him"
"ok" said maya
she put herself in the channeling pose
"o holy mother let me- baaaaaa" baaed the goat from turnabout goat
"AHHHHH TAKE HER CLOTHES OFF THEYLL SMELL LIKE GOAT" shouted phoenix
they took her clothes off and threw them away
===GOAT TESTIMONY===
"baa? baa? naa?" baaed the goat
"now goat did you kill the guy"
"ba na na" another goat came in
"naa baa" ANOTHER goat came in
"naa-aa" ANOTHER GOAT CAME IN
"naabaaanaaaanaanaabaananabaa" they all bleeted
"AAAAAAAAH" shouted phoenix "huh WAIT A SECOND MR GOAT THE DEAD GOAT WHATD U JUST SAY"
"baa naa naa" baad dead ghost
"WOOOOOOAH I SPEAK A LITTLE BIT OF GOAT AND THAT MEANS "I DIDNT"" said phoenix "wait what"
"HAAAA" shouted kyle "so he didnt do it"
"but maya cudnt have done it because she was goat when packs died" said phoenix
"i apolojize mr wright but u need to prove someone else did it otherwise mayas guilty" said judge layton
"wait WHAT" shouted phoenix "THATS BULLSHIT"
"its the law" said ghostton
"dammit i gotta think HARD about this" said phoenix
he examined the crime scene photo and he realized something
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "the evidence that proves who the killer is... IS IN THIS PHOTO"
"i dont see it" said kyle
"thats because its NOT in this photo" said phoenix
"penalty" said kyle
"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "no take a look he doesnt have a parachute, but red did have one, and he also came from the moon - HE FELL TO DEATH FROM THE MOON"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shouted the court
"jet packs fell to death, we didnt no this cause there was no autopsy" said phoenix
"DAMN THOSE LAZY CORONERS" shouted kyle
"this means red alien is the killer" said phoenix
"WHAT HOW"
"jet packs only made one parachute as u can see on this newspaper "jet packs once invented one parachute before he decided to invent the jet packs" meaning he only made ONE parachute! and the parachute that came from the moon had jet packs watermark on it so it must be his"
"NOOOOO" shouted red
"so the person who killed jet packs must be the person who stole his parachute and wore it to get down to earth" said phoenix and he pointed at red "you RED ALIEN!"
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN" shouted red "FUCK YOU PHOENIX"
red alien was arrested on earth maya was declared NOT GUILTY and everyone celebrated
the doorbell of the court rang and pizza man came in and delivered them pizza and they partyed in the court allll night because the evil 2016 had finally been defeated after a year long battel
and the next day all the killers went back to jail
THE END
