Dear Kaoru:
It's been two months that I don't know about you, or the Host Club, less of our parents, but I hope that, although I don't have an answer, at least you read my letters. I discovered that I love to write everything that happens to me, is like a diary, I know it's corny and it is for girls, but like you said the last day we met, I'm a fucking fag
Working in the cafeteria goes well, it pay enough to keep my rent in the quarter where I live, by the way, say Kyoya thanks for helping me, without him, I would have frozen to death on the streets, I can't do it by myself because his family forbade me to approach him, but if you still love me a little, please tell him that I miss him a lot and that I think in him all the time.
I think that by this point you have deleted my letter, but I still write everything that happened to me this week.
I feel out of place when I walk down the street, seems that I attract much attention, I hadn't notice before, but now I can feel the eyes of some people nailed in me, and apparently, God makes them and they come together, because, it sounds funny, but the looks are from mans mainly, but unfortunately many of them are perverted, when I go on public transport, they always trying to touch my body parts, usually my rear T.T, but I don't have serious problems with them.
In the cafeteria they treat me very well, "fortunately" I like my boss, he don't say anything but I notice when he stare me, so hi don't let the customers bother me, the other day one of them wanted to take me to a hotel, but my boss defended me and "banished" this guy of the place.
I guess the reason why him not come close to me is because he is married, my partners told me that he's a respectful person to his wife, he'll never play with the security and stability of his family for an adventure, so I'll be his platonic love XD, which is something sweet (although he would have to stay with the desire, 'cause my heart is filled with Kyoya)
Although I know that this relationship will never work, and that he asked me to forget it an continue with my life, I can't, sometimes I dream that he choose me instead of her family and star a life together, I can't give him heirs but my happiness and all my love, I never force him to act in a way that doesn't want and I'm sure my love erase the void caused by being disinherited. But the reality is different, I can't do anything
I already had to mourn over, I wish that everything would return to how it was before, when I have a warm home to spend the winter nights (you don't imagine the wretched cold it is here), when you love me because you don't know what I am, to when I had friends, and a loving family.
How can you forget so easily? I can't forget you, well, the conditions are different, you are in your fantasy world together, and I'm in the shit, alone, all alone.
I know that you'll don't answer, but I like know how are you? Did you forget Haruhi already? How are you in school? Are you accepted into the college we want to go? How are the boys of the Host? Have you got a new partner or have success alone?
I would like to know so much about you, and you don't want to know anything but I tell you everything XD, sorry, sometimes I am too stupid, but I can't help it, I love you so much to forget you in only two months
Espero que me perdones algún día, no fue mi intención que pasara, simplemente sucedió, por más que lo intente no puede dejar de mirar a Kyoya, y cuando supe que él sentía lo mismo ya no pude contenerme más, me hizo muy feliz, y ese poco tiempo, valió la pena, no me arrepiento de nada.
I hope someday you'll forgive me, I didn't mean to happen, it just happened, no matter how hard I try I can't stop looking at Kyoya, and when I knew he felt the same, this made me very happy, and that short time, I do not regret it
I love you brother
Kaoru
