AN: Another story, I know and I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but so many more idea's for it came up to me, so I turned it into a short-chaptered chapter story. This one I'll finish sooner, I promise. It should be around..4-5 chapters.
Anyways, enjoy!
border between life and death
The border between life and death.
What is it exactly?
Some say it's an alternate reality; a place where you can escape to when the world you've always known was shattered into a thousand little pieces. Others say it's a place where you go before you die, the moment of peace before you enter the afterlife, it be heaven or hell.
But most say it's a place for redemption. A place where you're not alive, yet not dead. So close to death, yet still clinging on to life.
They say the border looks like an endless plain of nothing. But even though It's invisible to the naked eye, you can feel it under your feet. A thin stretch of solidness that went on forever. Forever that is, until you reach paradise.
Sadly, many - too many - fall off before ever reaching there. Whether it be they fall into the afterlife, or back into the living. The living they tried so hard to escape.
Many tread on this fine border, the sick, the arrogant, or the depressed.
The sick don't want to be there. To them, the border was like a tightrope. The smallest trip up could send them in the wrong direction. Safely on one side would have meant a lifetime of happiness. They fear that line. But it is not their choice of walking on it, or staying safely on the sidelines.
The arrogant play with it, daring themselves, test to see just how far they could go. As if they wanted to challenge death. To mock it. To prove that a mere border couldn't do anything to them. This was all just a game to them, one they thought they could stop playing when they wanted to. Sadly, that is not the case.
They thought of themselves as such superior species. Yet to other people, they couldn't seem more idiotic.
After all, they were just trying to play God.
There are also people who are just on that thread because they couldn't find enough emotion to care. They were there for a release; an escape from the constant inner pain.
I've… I've treaded that line before. On and off, waking up and falling back in the endless pit of darkness. At first, I was just testing the fates, challenging them. Challenging them to see how far I could walk along that border without dying.
At first, I thought of it as just a rebellion against God. God, who had taken everything I ever loved away from me. My parents, nee-san, Renji and… and him.
Him, who will forever haunt me. Him, who is the only face in my mind while I stride along that border. Him, the one thing that seemed so close, yet always out of reach.
I was on that line, forever chasing after him. He was my paradise.
I was always so close, so close. But it was always the same. I could never reach his open hand, no matter how hard I tried.
After a while, it wasn't just a game anymore. It became an addiction, one with no escape. It had turned into something as natural to me as breathing. I had this stubborn idea stuck in my mind that he would be waiting for me there, in paradise. So everyday, I walked on that line, every time getting just the tiniest bit further into his arms.
Then I almost fell over, into deaths cold embrace. And it was then, I felt the first emotion I had felt since he left me.
Fear.
I was scared of dying. So scared, that for the first time in years there was a twinge in my heart.
I didn't understand, and I still don't. Even though I never admitted it to myself, I knew what I was doing. And I knew I was doing it to die. A slow and painless lapse into the netherworld. That was what I wanted.
So why did I fear death? I should've embraced the feeling; I should've wanted to go further!
But…no. I didn't want to die, not yet. I was too stubborn.
But I couldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried. The thought of being near him again kept me at it; he was my only hope.
The pain I felt hurt too much. Being on that space between the living and the dead eased the pain, if only a little. And that was reason enough to me.
Then on my dark, dark life, there was a tiny ray of light. Almost nonexistent, but there all the same.
I had always known what I was sacrificing.
But he was the one to really make me realize. He was the one to truly make me grasp the meaning of what I was doing. He was the only one to be able to make me regretful.
He made me… he made me feel.
It's just too bad though. I was too far gone. Maybe if he came a little sooner. Maybe if had shaken sense into me earlier.
Maybe if he loved me just a bit more.
…But it's too late for that.
You have to be careful not to trip, on that thin line. That thin line which could easily destroy you of everything you were.
Just how far can you go?
•••
AN: I know, I was just spewing nonsense there. But hey, I needed to start it somehow x]
Please review!
