A/N: So here is the second fanfic (first being "Mobile Suit Gundam 00: An Unexpected Present", sort of a prequel to this one) for a Gundam 00 Christmas, this is the last one for Gundam 00 in terms of Christmas fanfics. I'll probably try my hand at an "Aria" fanfic next year, to maybe train my hand a little more at a pure slice of life style of writing. I'll be honest though, this fanfic does venture into a dark and tragic territory, making it a little different from most Christmas fanfics, although you may find the reasons why I did that and I felt it was necessary for this one. Please do read and tell me what you think, I would greatly appreciate any and all reviews (especially critical ones) I get. And here is a birthday shout out to one of my cousins, Happy Birthday! XD.
Disclaimer: I own no rights what so ever to neither Mobile Suit Gundam 00 nor the characters used in this story, the plot outline however does belong to me. All rights belong to their respective owners (Sunrise and Bandai).
Mobile Suit Gundam 00: An Unexpected Encounter
"Setsuna…Setsuna…Setsuna!" her sweet cheerful voice shouts his name. The pink haired girl appears in his mind, now in her early thirties she still carries that beautiful smile he saw when he first met her in Celestial Being. Whereas through time he could see her aging, only shining brighter and brighter in his eyes he felt himself to be stuck in time, he couldn't help it, and he had no choice in the matter. The ELS entities, the ones that grant him so much knowledge, also cause him to remain frozen in time; he can no longer age nor die. He maintains his youthful appearance and all for one purpose, his life carries the one main purpose of understanding throughout the universe. The humanity he once held felt as though it was disappearing, it was only during his times with the pink haired girl Feldt Grace that he could feel it growing again. It has been three years now since they've seen one another, she has been living her life as a normal citizen, or as normal her life could get after her time in Celestial Being and him continuing his existence as a liaison of sorts.
In an uncharted galaxy Setsuna's search for other life forms proceeded as it always had, most of the time he would come across premature life forms where they lack the intelligence to even communicate on the most basic ways of communication. Everytime he wanted to try and visit her, the yearnings of the ELS for understanding would stop him, and everytime a shred of his humanity would lessen. No human contact, all alone in this vast space left to his own thought along with 00 Qan[T]. The warmth he would feel with Feldt would always be missing in this cold vast space. He had long ago fulfilled his mission as a true innovator to bring about peace, but it was not there that his life's purpose had ended. However he wondered from time to time whether this change was for the better or not, trading one life purpose for another, all the while yearning for more himself.
'Am I no longer the pure human and innovator that I once was?' he wondered remembering back to the time where he only cared about obtaining peace with his Gundam. At that time he could care less for the other things around him but obtaining a true ever lasting peace by eliminating conflict. He only cared about obtaining a true understanding to put humanity on a right, and a non-violent path. He now however yearns for more, he wants to be at Feldt's side and through the resonance of GN particles he could tell that she wanted to spend more time with him in each of his visits as well. Their paths however always intersected and diverged, there was never one pathway for them to walk together and now there may never be another chance.
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
In the repetitions of these noises, echoing through the white room almost as though it was covered in snow, Feldt looks up at the ceiling. She turns her attention from the ceiling to the window of the hospital room she resides in. Her health has been gradually weakening overtime from an accident two years ago. First it took away her ability to move paralyzing her from the neck down and then a series of events created a downhill slope for her in her life. The spiraling events caused her to be hospitalized and created a void within the hearts of those around her for they cared too much about her to let her go. Felt slowly closed her eyes remembering back to the fateful day where the spiraling slope was unlocked before her eyes…
The blazing hot sun shines down on her as she covers her face with her slim arm. She looks up at the heat as sweat trails down her smooth skin, "Feldt!" Sumeragi shouts waving over to her. It was this blazing hot day that Felt and Sumeragi had decided to go clothes shopping together. This was perhaps one of many ways Sumeragi kept in contact with all the girls she befriended during her time in Celestial Being. Feldt ran up to her greeting her with her usual happy smile, Sumeragi pointed the way to the mall she had in mind and Feldt simply followed. The automatic doors close behind them as the mall's coolness begins to bring a sense of relief from the heat to them, they each breathe a sigh in unison and surprised soon laugh it off together. Sumeragi takes Feldt by her hand and begins to walk towards a nearby bikini shop.
"Don't you already have lots of bikinis Ms. Sumeragi?" Feldt asked wondering what she could want with having more bikinis in her collection.
"You can never have enough" Sumeragi replied with a small wink.
"Welcome" the store employee manning the cash till says with a courteous smile. Sumeragi's face instantly lights up at eyeing a bikini just as she enters. She rushes to the bikini letting go of Feldt's hand as though she were rushing to buy candy from a candy vendor.
"How would this look Feldt?"
"I think you will look good in it."
"Alright, how about this one?" Sumeragi asked picking another bikini close to it.
"I think you look good in it as well."
"Oh look at that one; I really like the sleek design of it. What do you think Feldt?" Sumeragi asked.
"I think you look good in that one as well Ms. Sumeragi" she replied. Feldt's mouth parted a little as she noted a slight pout on Sumeragi's face, "What's wrong?" she asked.
"You say I'll look good in anything I ask you about…"
"Well that's because you've a body that can make anything look great" Feldt replied with a slight blush.
"Oh, but you've great figure to Feldt" Sumeragi replied with her caring smile. She always cared about her crew mates, and it was shown when she gave advice to Feldt about Setsuna before, in a sense she was a perhaps sisterly figure to Feldt. Their bond had greatly strengthened ever since the disbanding of their crewmates. Feldt smiled thanking Sumeragi at her care for Feldt; she then took a bikini close by her and asked for Sumeragi's opinion this time. And like Feldt, she told Feldt the same thing causing Feldt to blush.
'I wonder what he would think seeing me in this?' she wondered as her face turned redder and redder by the second.
"Thinking about Setsuna?" Sumeragi asked with a mischievous smile.
"I-I'm not!" Feldt defended with a huge blush covering her face, "Oh so I was right! Feldt, never underestimate a woman's intuition!" Sumeragi exclaimed.
"You're so mean" Feldt said with a little pout of her own causing Sumeragi to hug her tight, "You're so cute when you pout like that."
After another hour of trying on bikinis, the two settled on their respective choices. The cashier put their clothing through as Sumeragi took out her debit card, "I'll pay for them both" she told the cashier.
"What are you doing? It's alright I can pay for my o-" Feldt said suddenly being interrupted, "Think of it as a gift between girl friends" Sumeragi said with an excited and a carefree smile. Locking arms with Feldt she dragged her to the food court when suddenly she stopped, eyes widened and mouth parted. Feldt looked at Sumeragi and thought, 'She looks as though she saw a ghost or something…'
"Feldt" Sumeragi started.
"Yes?!" Feldt asked suddenly tensing up from worry.
"I-"
"What is it Ms. Sumeragi?"
"I smell something delicious!" she said as her face suddenly turned chibi.
"What?" Feldt asked completely confused as Sumeragi looked at her with shining eyes.
"Look! Look! They've a bar here!" Sumeragi said with great excitement pointing at it as she turned back to Feldt. Eyebrows twitching, arms crossed and a very irritated Feldt stood as a nerve was popping out, "So you made me worry about you and here you were checking out a bar?" she said eating out Sumeragi's ears.
"What? You make me sound like an alcoholic or something" Sumeragi said pressing her hands together, trying to play the innocent victim.
"That's because you're!" Feldt said walking away with a pout.
"Eeiii You're too cute Feldt!" Sumeragi said brushing her cheek against hers, causing Feldt to blush a little. Soon Feldt found herself in Sumeragi's clutches who was now dragging her into the bar against her will, almost as though she was being kidnapped like a helpless puppy. Now crying out rivers out of both her eyes, Feldt sat in a corner with a glass of orange juice as Sumeragi drowned herself in this bar's new beer.
'Ugh…why me?' Feldt wondered as she took a sip of her juice.
"Feldt! Yo should relly try so-some of this suff out hehehe" shouted Sumeragi completely hammered. Feldt scooted back into her chair more and more in embarrassment. She eyed her orange juice and smiled remembering the boy, his smile was her happiness and his everlasting love for understanding was her love as well. She stirred the straw in the juice round and round remembering back to the last warm embrace Setsuna held her with. She also felt slightly out of place, he still maintained that young handsome image while she was aging with time; she wasn't like Setsuna at all. Or rather he wasn't like the humans at all anymore; she started to notice shreds of his human like tendencies to begin disappearing. Much to her sadness she could see lesser emotions emitting from him, but whenever he held her he always had a warm heart; the heart that brought this long lasting peace.
"Are you out there, discovering newer life forms? Creating newer connections for understanding perhaps?" Feldt asked in a soft whisper to herself. She gently breathed away a strand of hair in her view, taking a sip of her juice she thought of what it would've been like had she taken up Setsuna's offer on becoming one of the ELS and human hybrids. She wouldn't have been able to spend time like this with Sumeragi; she wouldn't have been able to keep on having these fond parties with everyone and she would've missed out on making all these precious memories. She suddenly shook her head wondering what she was thinking, 'That's right, I decided to walk this path of my own will…I can't go back on my choice now.'
Stumbling across the bar, Sumeragi with a light headed smile sat down hard across Feldt resting her head on the table.
'Is she snoozing?' Feldt wondered as she leaned in close.
"Ms. Sumeragi? This is no place to be sleeping" she called out shaking Sumeragi a little, "Come on, I'll take you back home so stay awake for a while longer."
Sumeragi did not want to cooperate, sighing Feldt decided to order lunch here. The taste of fried chicken with chilli sauce sent an exciting sensation through her taste buds, almost as though the hair on her skin was raised. The taste of the orange juice right after a bite into the chicken wing would send a calming peace across her mouth, almost as though it was the calm after a storm. Feldt liked this sensation as she happily ate her lunch, ordering something small for Sumeragi she helped Sumeragi eat. Feldt didn't want Sumeragi throwing up, hence the small quantity lunch. As soon as they were done, Feldt paid for their lunch, "You did-t ned to do tht" Sumeragi mumbled in her drunken frenzy as she was carried out by Feldt.
"It's fine, think of it as a gift between girl friends" Feldt said causing Sumeragi to smile. Out of the mall, hit by the blazing sun Feldt stopped for a moment to catch her breath, "It's fin Feldt…I can wal on me owrrff" Sumeragi said getting off of Feldt. She began to stumble her way towards the crossing, Feldt followed in close after she finished catching her breath. It was then, this was the moment that started the spiral. The pedestrian light is red, Sumeragi is crossing, a large truck is coming and Sumeragi stops in the middle trying to regain her balance.
Honk! Hoooooonk! The truck shouts out trying to stop, but its screeching halt cannot guarantee Sumeragi's safety. Bags fall to the ground, the large tapping noise of running shoes echoes as the pink haired girl pushes Sumeragi out of the way. Strands of pink hair go flying in the air, the road is covered with red blood and a motionless Feldt lies on the ground unconscious. Sumeragi in shock lays still now sober from the shock, she holds back a scream moving closer to the still Feldt, she calls out to her but there is no response, "W-we need an ambulance…an ambulance!" she shouts as several of the people around them start dialing for one. Not many however hold out much hope for this girl, Feldt begins to fade out remembering only the sirens of an ambulance coursing through the now noise dampening streets.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
'That noise…it sounds so familiar.'
Beep! Beep! Beep!
'Am I in a hospital?'
"Hey she is coming to! Get doctor Okizawa!" a familiar voice shouted as the girl's blurred vision began to slowly clear up. Sumeragi came into view; she sat by Feldt's side, constantly calling out to her and crying. Feldt wanted to reach out to her and wipe away those tears, 'Eh, my arm won't move' she thought contemplating if it was injured or not. She thought to try the other arm, 'This one won't move either? For that matter my body can't seem to move at all!' Feldt suddenly panicked only able to turn her head, her body felt as heavy as lead. The sound of a door opening hard resonated through the room as a doctor rushed up to Feldt, he began flooding her with questions as to if she felt alright. Feldt closed shut her eyes and opened it again trying to get rid of a heavy sensation in her head.
"W-why can't I move?" Feldt asked in a soft whisper. Dr. Okizawa froze for a second; he didn't know what to tell her. He didn't know how to tell it to her, he gulped feeling that it was times like these that he hated his job of being a doctor.
"Ms. Grace…I'm afraid I must inform you the unfortunate news that…" he paused for a moment again gulping, he was clearly hesitant in revealing this news.
"…that you'll never be able to move your body ever again from the neck down" he finished lowering his head. Sumeragi's eyes widened, her heart began to fasten as Feldt carried the same expression.
'Because of me…because of my carelessness…Feldt…' thought Sumeragi feeling her legs tremble. It was survivor's guilt that was now slowly settling in on her; that truck hit was meant for her, and Feldt shouldn't have had to bear the consequence for her mistake. Sumeragi fell back on her chair; tears were slowly building in her eyes as she took Feldt's hand in hers. Lying on the bed, unable to face her Sumeragi would repeat the same words over and over again, "I'm so sorry."
Knock! Knock! Knock!
And Feldt was thrown back into the veil of the present reality as she looked towards the door. There stood Sumeragi with her caring smile as she walked in with a banquet of flowers.
"Did I wake you up Feldt?" asked Sumeragi as Feldt shook her head. Sumeragi walked into the room towards the flower vase, getting rid of the older now dried up flowers, and she replaced them with the newer and fresher ones. The rosy smell of the flowers spread through the room, with it bringing a sense of spring in the middle of this cold winter, it was that time of the year again already; it was Christmas. Sumeragi began to settle in putting a chair close to Feldt's bed and hanging up her coat on it. With kind permission she managed to get the cafeteria to create a small Christmas meal for all the invited guests. Soon Feldt from the side of her eye saw caterers from the cafeteria rolling in setting up the food on a small table, outside was Sumeragi thanking Dr. Okizawa all the while receiving a lecture on not making any loud noises. She gave a thankful bow as Dr. Okizawa placed a hand on her shoulder with a cheery smile; he too is in the Christmas spirit.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Sumeragi looked towards the door while setting up the dishes in their proper order. Her face lit up at the man standing in the doorway, he fashioned long brown hair going down to his shoulders, the ex-meister who piloted the long range Gundams of the group, Lockon Stratos. He walked in with his Christmas spirit handing a bottle of champagne to Sumeragi.
"Yo, how ya doing Feldt?" he asked dragging a chair beside Feldt's bed.
"I'm doing alright" she replied glad to see Lockon here. Then another series of knocks came as a girl with an extremely happy smile walked in, Mileina leaned in close to Feldt which gave Feldt a sense of happiness.
"Hey no running in the hallways!" a nurse shouted as a child rushed past her. The tapping noises echoed towards Feldt's room as it got louder and louder. Everyone looked at the incoming noise, it was a small child with green hair, yellow eyes and he bore a strong resemblance to both Allelujah Haptism and Marie Haptism. Yes, now married the two bore a child together as he came running into the room excitedly looking for Feldt.
"Ms. Feldt!" he shouted out jumping up and down as he tried to get up on the bed beside her. Feldt smiled at his efforts as he would fall down, but then try again and again.
"Kenji, listen to what the nurses here tell you" Marie called out as the couple stood in the doorway. Both smiled towards Feldt as they gave a gentle bow, "Thank you for having us over today."
"You guys are being way too formal here" Lockon called out feeling the atmosphere to be a little to his disliking, "Let's all keep it casual" he suggested holding up a glass of champagne.
"Already drinking?" Sumeragi called out surprised she didn't notice the bottle to be open.
"Well the night is young, so may as well get down to it!" Lockon said chugging down a glass. Settling in Allelujah looked quite surprised, "Ms. Sumeragi, you're not going to be chugging the whole bottle down?"
"Eh well I kind of started controlling my drinking."
Lockon suddenly popped up behind her rubbing his chin, "Who are you and what have you done with the real Ms. Sumeragi?" as his eyes sparkled. Getting their fair share of laughs the party proceeded marvellously. The only thing that seemed to be missing was two people, one would sometimes show up and the other was always absent. Tieria Erde would rarely show up to these reunions as he was extremely busy managing the incoming information and ongoing growth of humanity's space ventures with VEDA. He was so busy that he would rarely get time to create a new shell for himself to use for his escapades to Earth now. And the other person was Setsuna who had completely disappeared, the crew of Celestial Being remembered him and for them believing that he is out there somewhere was enough. Feldt felt happy knowing everyone still held onto their respective beliefs and hopes for Setsuna, his existence is carried on in their memory.
'Can I truly be considered human now?' Setsuna wondered sitting in the cockpit of 00 Qan[T]. His mind drifted into deep thought as far as his eyes could see into deep space. With no human contact in the past three years he has wondered this question ever since, all that there was for him to communicate was the ELS conscience. He could communicate with them through 00 Qan[T] as they had imbedded themselves with the original 00 Qan[T] Gundam.
"If I were to be placed in a conundrum situation, would I do the right thing I believe in with my humanity? Or would I do the thing that is needed to be done and let others get hurt in the process? Where does my humanity exactly lie now? I'm all alone out here; even my tolerance for loneliness has its limits. Just how much more human am I now? Am I more of an alien to humans or do I still maintain some integrity as a human?" Setsuna wondered in a soft whisper.
A blinking holographic light suddenly pushed Setsuna back into reality, materializing the notification as a blue screen popped up he noticed an in-depth report of a close by planet. 00 Qan[T] or rather the ELS component of it manages the scan of every planet 00 passes by. The planet looked to be green, almost like mercury and as far as Setsuna could see into it, he could not feel any traces of land. The report however deemed the planet to be hospitable for life to flourish; in fact it showed a sentient life form already flourishing in this planet. Upon his mission of creating an understanding throughout the whole universe, he began his descent into the planet as he activated the GN-shield. The fiery blaze of the atmosphere soon dispersed as he broke through to the planet's sky and soon began his search for land where he could safely land. All around he could see a hue of green covering the sky, there was no presence of oxygen, but such trivialities didn't concern him as he no longer needed oxygen to live. Now descending to what could be considered the near center of the planet, he came across a massive body of ocean, it was bubbling, and it felt corrosive.
'How could any life exist here?' Setsuna wondered looking around for any hint of existence. An arm of the liquid body suddenly stretched out of its near perfect spherical shape. Setsuna on instinct quickly moved the controls to dodge, managing to dodge the attack successfully his mouth parted, "I see…" he whispered as another attack came out. The liquid body was not happy that he came into its domain and was doing everything in its power to either drive him away or destroy him.
"You're the life form!" Setsuna concluded as he thought back to the ELS. The ELS were once a being that flourished on their respective planet, and soon as they grew bigger and bigger, they took over the planet. In a sense the same thing happened here with this planet as well, now that Setsuna payed closer attention to the body of liquid, he could see a very tiny bit of mass of land, "That must be the center of the planet containing the core" he concluded as he skillfully dodged all the attacks. Bringing up a holographic keyboard, Setsuna activated the Quantum Burst sequence as the green rounded bits all over 00 Qan[T]'s body began to glow. The whole Gundam became covered in a field of green GN particles sending a wave throughout the whole planet. The radiant warmth of the GN particles spread as the body of water began to calm down. The high bubble activity, indicating its aggressiveness was slowly disappearing as Setsuna closed in. The green rounded bits began to extend outwards releasing even more GN particles from them.
"Time for the dialogues" he spoke as the body of liquid invited him in creating a passage way to the small mass of land. The pathway to understanding was now open, slowly Setsuna descended close to the land, it was small to the point that 00 Qan[T] could hold it in its hands. Using the GN particles floating all around him, using the ELS conscience and this life form's conscience Setsuna began to establish a bridge way using his Quantum brainwaves. A bright white light flashes violently before Setsuna's eyes as he shuts them tight, he feels his body becoming light to the point that there is no weight to his body. He opens them slowly descending towards a field of flower like objects he had never seen before. They were alien to him, he walked around and noticed that everywhere he walked the flowers seemed to dry up and wither away. He didn't pay it much attention, thinking it might've been the effect of his sudden intrusion perhaps. However he was captivated by the beautiful scenery that was put before him, the body of water that once was had disappeared and the small land of mass had enlarged. On that land of mass grew beautiful scenery even if it was alien to him; this was the life form's yearning.
From the history he had gathered, he could tell that in the beginning there was nothing but the body of liquid life form and an extremely small land of mass. As time passed by, the body of water was slowly being overtaken by the land of mass, in a sense it was giving itself to the land to create a future for more life. This was this life form's yearning, it wanted to increase the land mass through its essence and provide the needed materials for future life to flourish. Setsuna understood as every year the land of mass grew little by little, he could see the setting sun this life envisioned. He could see the running creatures of unknown types, and he could see nature taking its course here giving these life forms the right to live. He understood this life form; the ELS understood this life form and he wished for its great budding. Suddenly one of the unknown life forms froze before Setsuna; it looked up at the Krugis boy noticing the withering flowers. That life form felt cold, it shivered at the sight of Setsuna feeling his warmth to be disappearing slowly, Setsuna's mouth parted thinking, 'The projection just noticed me even though I didn't make myself aware to them? But why does it shiver and back away, why do these flowers wither around me?'
"Humanity" was suddenly engraved on the field of flowers. Setsuna's eyes widened as he felt his own warmth leaving him, 'Am I really no longer human? Am I a complete alien? Do I no longer have the love I once held for humanity? Is my own humanity fading?!'
Another violent flash of light brings Setsuna back into the cockpit of 00 Qan[T]. The unit begins to ascend as the way towards the mass of land begins to close off, he takes one look back and soon escapes the planet.
'Why did my feelings suddenly interfere with the connection?' Setsuna questioned feeling at a loss as to why he was being this way.
'I want to…see her again' thought Setsuna, and his eyes quickly widened as he shook his head, 'What am I even thinking? My life has had only one purpose hasn't it after my assimilation with the ELS. If the purpose means having to transverse these lonely corners of the universe, then shouldn't I for the sake of understanding? For the sake of spreading the peace, shouldn't I do what my purpose is?'
Setsuna gripped the controls tightly feeling a sharp ping in his chest; it was the call of a selfish feeling just waiting to be fulfilled. He has never felt like this before, so he doesn't know how to react, but he just can't help question himself on it over and over again. The 00 Qan[T] suddenly stopped much to Setsuna's bewilderment as he moved the controls to move forward, but the machine wouldn't respond. The eyes of the 00 Qan[T] glow bright green as it spreads its wings. The machine begins to spread a massive burst of GN particles across the universe, 'I didn't do this? What's happening?' Setsuna wondered noticing the out stretch of the GN particles to be farther than he has ever seen before. The Gundam was breaking its own limitations in regards to creating a shared space of consciousness; it was expanding with Setsuna's yearnings as the green glow of the particles glowed brighter and brighter.
"Presents time!" Sumeragi announced as little Kinji jumped in excitement. Bringing a hearty laugh onto everyone except Feldt, they all proceeded to take out their respective presents to give to one another, and just like with last year, the first ones always went to Feldt. Blushing heavily she thanked them from the bottom of her heart. Kinji came running up on the bed as he held out a little box that was poorly wrapped, but it was the thought that counted and Feldt appreciated Kinji's efforts. Blushing the boy ran to his mother hugging her tightly, "Haha little man's getting shy!" Lockon teased as he brushed Kinji's hair playfully. There was an ambient atmosphere settling in as everyone opened their presents and thanked one another for their thought and effort. Feldt lay on her bed watching the party unfold step by step, everyone was happy but she couldn't give them anything but despair and cause trouble for them. A small tear started to build up as she gritted her teeth, "I'm sorry everyone…" she finally let it out unable to hold it in any longer.
Everyone looked at Feldt with a concerned expression, little Kinji from the sudden silence could tell the mood wasn't good as he tugged at Marie's dress. She took him up in her arms giving him a small smile in an effort to reassure him, but even the child wasn't convinced thanks to all the silence. Lockon got up face palming himself as he mumbled, "This is what you've been worrying about this whole time?"
Feldt looked at the approaching Lockon who gently tapped her forehead, "What are you…" Sumeragi began when she was interrupted by Feldt.
"I can't go outside of this room any longer, instead you're all forced to come here and visit me and I'm nothing but a useless burden now!" Feldt said.
"You finished?" Lockon asked as a moment of silence passed by, Feldt nodded.
He nodded in return crouching beside her, "Now listen good, we never once thought of you as a burden. Do you really think we will ever think of you like that after everything we've all been through together? Feldt, you were dealt a bad deal on the day of your accident, but keep your head up. There are still a lot of wonderful things to see in this world even if it is only from this one room."
"That's right Feldt; after all we're all family here aren't we?" Allelujah added with a genuine care.
"That's right, Mileina will be here to always!" she said cheering on for Feldt. The tears could no longer be held back as Feldt let them out, Kinji came up the bed, giving it his all in climbing over the obstacle to get to Feldt. He then offered a pudding, "I'll let you have my pudding, so cheer up Ms. Feldt" he said gently patting her head.
"Even Kinji is showing his concern for you Feldt; we're all here for you aren't we after all? We will always be like one big family" Sumeragi added gently taking Feldt's hand in hers. Feldt as she cried felt a blush coming on, it was a feeling of relief that she wasn't alone and that she wasn't forsaken. Wiping Feldt's tears Sumeragi held the pudding close to Feldt in one spoon, "Thank you everyone" she replied with a smile they would rarely get to see now days, it was the smile of someone who was happy and on cloud nine.
A green glow suddenly started to become clearer in the room, as several snow like flakes began to float in the room. It was glowing brighter by the second, "Is this snow mommy?" Kinji asked gently holding on to Marie's warm hand.
"No-" Lockon began as he was cut off suddenly.
"Those are GN particles" and everyone looked at who it was, their faces suddenly lit up at the new presence, "Mr. Erde?!" shouted Mileina quite surprised. Tieria threw a gentle smile her way causing her to blush a little, "But how?" Lockon asked.
"I managed to squeeze some time out into making a new shell for myself. I can on occasion perform miracles myself you know" he replied.
"I'm so happy you came!" Mileina said jumping at the chance to hug him. Tightly holding on to his arm, taking whatever time she can with him, getting all lovey dovey she happily followed him to Feldt's bed. Tieria looked at Feldt smiling and she smiled back, "Sorry I'm late" he said gently putting an encased dessert flower down by her.
"This flower…" Feldt began looking up at Tieria, "Thought it may help with the atmosphere here for your day to day life" he replied.
"Thank you" she replied whole heartedly. It was the flower of one of her links between Setsuna and her thoughts for him after all.
"But it seems as though he too is trying to reach out to you right now Feldt" Tieria said causing Feldt to blush a little. She could feel her body weighing heavy as she suddenly started to become drowsy.
"Must be tired from all the festivities" Sumeragi said gently stroking Feldt's hair. Everyone quieted down as they observed her sleeping face with happiness, she truly did look peaceful. Feldt could feel her body soon weighing next to nothing; it was almost as though she was being raised into the air, into the very darkness of space itself. Out of the darkness shone a bright light that started to suck her whole, a flash of white light appears before her eyes as she defends herself from it.
A large prairie field surrounded by small patches of flower came into Feldt's view. The sky was shaded with a hue of vermilion as GN particles flourished riding the wind. She gently stroked the hair out of her face letting it blow with the wind. There was a rosy scent from the flowers within the air; it was refreshing from the usual atmosphere of her hospital room. She looked around seeing a flower close by, she wanted to get it but found her body to be plagued with the same illness that she bears in the real world. Even in her dreams she could not bring her body to do what she wanted it to do. From behind her a white light glowed as the figure bent down gently putting a flower in her hair.
"Eh?" she wondered trying to get the flower into her view, she could tell it was a flower due to its scent.
"It's been a long time…Feldt" said the familiar boy of the Krugis boy. He feeling the damage to her body walked in front of her and bent down; with a kind smile he took her hand in his.
"S-Setsuna" spoke a surprised Feldt, but somewhat relieved to see him.
"So is this like a dream?" Feldt asked as Setsuna shook his head, "Then how come you're here? Are you real?"
"This is a space of shared consciousness, you and I are in the process of sharing our consciousness together right now" explained Setsuna.
"Oh, that's why there are so many GN particles" Feldt concluded as Setsuna nodded. Feldt smiled to herself whispering, "I really wanted to see you again."
"I to had the same desire Feldt, I yearned to see you in these past three years."
Blushing Feldt felt extremely happy to have her wish fulfilled. Setsuna looked at Feldt's frail body; it really had become weak over the course of the past two years. She looked at Setsuna with a quizzical expression, Setsuna turned his attention back out onto the flower fields. He stood up leaving Feldt to wonder if he was going, if this was all the time they could spend together. She wanted to reach out for him, but her body wouldn't move; it would do nothing but act as dead weight. Setsuna looked far over the horizon onto the setting sun, he slowly picked up Feldt as she flustered, "S-Setsuna what are you doing?" she asked.
Walking out of the prairie Feldt noticed the flower patches; a small excited smile made its way across her face much to Setsuna's happiness. He gently set her down in between the patches of flower; he noticed a nearby patch then suddenly withers away. His mouth parted as his eyes remained wide open with shock, 'Even in here my questions interfere…' he thought. Feldt looked at the boy in front of her with a concerned expression as she to noticed the withering flower patch, "Setsuna…what is it that you're not telling me?" she asked. A moment of silence covered the atmosphere; Setsuna looked at Feldt from the side of his eyes thinking of what to say, "Feldt, do you think I'm human?" he asked in a very direct manner.
"What do you mean? Of course you're" Feldt said in a clear and concise tone.
"I don't mean if I look human…do you think I still have humanity left in me?" Setsuna again asked.
"Why would you ask that? Setsuna I can still feel the warmth of your love radiating from you…isn't that proof enough?"
Setsuna then held up a flower that began to disintegrate and wither away with the blowing wind. His innovator eyes carrying so many patterns seemed so diverse, so hopeful and yet behind that surface look there seemed to be despair. Feldt could feel his entire essence melding with her within this field of shared consciousness as hers tries to understand his. Duty. Loneliness. Withering Flowers. Withering Humanity. Feldt's eyes widen as she finally understands the true meaning behind what Setsuna meant, no human contact in the past three years has been causing him to forget what it may mean to be human. It has caused him a great deal of loneliness in his travels within the dark voids of space while searching for other life. Feldt then concluded that 'The withering flowers represented his withering trust in his own humanity, that's why his aura would feel cold at times.'
She cursed herself for not being able to move, for not being able to take him into her own warm embrace in his time of need. She looked at the Krugis boy, shinning brilliantly as he always has in her eyes and calls out to him. Setsuna turns to look at her slowly asking him to come in close; he is extremely close, only a few centimeters apart. She could feel her warm breath escaping and coating his lips, 'Please body…grant me this one request, and please move for this one time' Feldt begged as she felt the weight in her body shift. It was moving, closer and closer; it was so close to Setsuna now. The changing patterns in Setsuna's eyes glistened with the sun as Feldt felt herself to be blushing. Her mouth parted a little, yearning for Setsuna who knowingly leaned in closer as their lips touched. Feldt could feel the warmth within her body spreading from the point of their contact. It was Setsuna's warmth, it was his care for her, his love for her; it was his humanity. Remaining still, interlocked in their passionate kiss they both look one another in the eye. Both their eyes glisten with love, Feldt feeling the need for air then the two part breathing heavily. They could tell that they needed this moment from one another; Setsuna looked up at Feldt who was now smiling extremely happily at him.
"Setsuna, you still have your humanity no doubt…your love is radiant and so is your warmth. The kindness you bestow to the human race by ensuring no other conflict ever breaks out in the future with alien life is proof of that. You'll always be human no matter what" she replied giving a joyous smile. Setsuna's mouth parted as he then realized that perhaps it wasn't because of his own spirit that he could continue this constant search for understanding, but perhaps Feldt played an extremely important role as well. She was there waiting for him always, waiting for him to get back home to her as he would return to lay eyes on his home planet from time to time. Setsuna looked at Feldt with gratitude filled eyes, no words were needed as they understood one another and happily sat in this moment together.
Cough! Cough!
Setsuna's eyes suddenly widened at seeing Feldt cough erratically unexpectedly. Setsuna took her in his arms wondering what was wrong, and then he could hear a familiar noise. It was constantly ringing in his ears, like a rhythmic piece of music it played out its dull tune. It was fast, it was noisy and it was indicating trouble.
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
Setsuna's eyes widened and the noise began to slow down.
Beep! Beep! Beep…Beep…
This was her time to depart.
Beep…Beep…Beep…
Feldt's eyes slowly closed as she whispered, "Thank you for giving me the chance to love Setsuna…remember that even though I may not be here, I'll always be in here for you" hinting at Setsuna's heart and mind.
Beep…Beep…
Setsuna began shaking her, "Feldt you can still be saved, just assimilate with the ELS!"
She gave him a soft smile, "I've lived the life I wanted to Setsuna…I'm glad I could live my purpose in life by helping you on yours."
Beep…Beep…
"Don't do this Feldt…please" Setsuna begged unable to imagine his world without Feldt. Even though he had been responsible for countless lives in his fights, he still couldn't bring himself to accept the death of those close to him. He so desperately wanted to save her, but the ELS also reminded him that the flow of life should not be tampered with, something they once learned from Setsuna when he first assimilated with them. Setsuna's eyes widened finally understanding and honouring Feldt's choice, "Thank you Feldt" he whispered.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….
And she was gone. Her body began to glow green, disintegrating into billions of GN particles, each headed in their own direction with the wind. Setsuna remained frozen still; he held back his tears to be able to see Feldt go off with a smile. The silence was unwelcomed for Setsuna, yet somehow appropriate to give him a moment of solace. A large sound suddenly thundered from behind Setsuna as he turned to find 00 Qan[T] waiting for him, it was time to go. The Gundam bent down reaching out its hand to the ground like a platform. Setsuna looked at 00 Qan[T] for a moment and clenched his fists, he stood up walking towards the Gundam. Stepping on board the Gundam's hand, it began to raise Setsuna to cockpit's level; Setsuna placed his hand gently on the green spherical bit in the center of its body.
"Can you hear me ELS?" Setsuna asked. No response as Setsuna then tried again, hearing his yearning they replied as 00 Qan[T] looked down at Setsuna.
"Please grant me this one more selfish request of mine, I'm begging you" he whispered looking Qan[T] in the eyes. Flower petals began to flow in the wind covering Setsuna's view as he felt his surroundings disappear, he could feel weight coming back to his body as he quickly woke up in 00 Qan[T]'s cockpit. 00 Qan[T] was now screaming, it was screaming for all corners of the universe to hear it's cries as it began to glow with GN particles, this was its answer to Setsuna's yearnings.
Beeeeeeee...
The loud sound of the heart rate monitor woke up Sumeragi as she looked at the cause. It was flat lined, her eyes widened in panic as she stood up shaking Feldt violently. Everyone else around them had fallen asleep from their fatigue and she woke them all up. Together they all tried different things to wake her up, panicking now not knowing what to do, everyone but Sumeragi knew what had happened. Feldt was no longer with them, but Sumeragi just couldn't come to accept this fact.
"She is gone Ms. Sumeragi" Mileina said gently gripping Sumeragi's shoulder, who quickly fell to her knees and broke down into tears. This fate wasn't meant to be dealt to Feldt, it was meant for Sumeragi. She couldn't help but feel the misery overcome her mind. Lockon bent down next to Sumeragi placing a hand on her shoulder, "We should see her off with a smile shouldn't we?" he asked as everyone else agreed.
"Someone should inform Dr. Okizawa" Marie suggested as Allelujah volunteered to do so. Tieria walked in close beside Feldt's body and placed a hand on her forehead, "I hope you got your last wish Feldt" Tieria said as the GN particles around them started to disappear, creating a morbid mood. Dr. Okizawa walked in and was instantly met with sad faces, he didn't need them telling him anything; he could tell she was dead from the sound of the heart monitor hearable throughout the hallway. He bowed down his head to be respectful of Feldt's death and took the reports by Feldt's bed, finding the desired section he wrote her time of death. He looked back one last time remembering what a model patient she was, always willing to listen, to help others even in her condition and creating no trouble for the staff what so ever. She was one of his patients that brightened up his day from the dreary moments of having to deliver bad news to others. Seeing the sadness within others made him feel sad himself, it was his duty to help others, to heal them as a doctor but even with all his knowledge he was defeated by Feldt's illness. Even though humans posses such great medical knowledge, there is always a threat that transcends that knowledge plaguing the doctors with permanent failures in their life.
Two days later…
"Is everyone ready?" asked the grave keeper. Everyone of the Celestial Being group nodded as they each fashioned a black suit or a dress. It was time for their good bye; it was time to bury Feldt. They decided to keep the funeral clean, no priest since they didn't know if she was of any religion. Instead they would give their final heartfelt good bye to her themselves. There was an atmosphere of gloom over the attendees, but also of hope that Feldt has been finally released from her pain. In the hope of her true freedom, they decided to smile and bid her goodbye after giving their thanks. They thank her for being in their lives, for all the times she would help them and for the times she was simply there beside them not only as a comrade in battle but as a friend as well. One by one they soon started to disperse leaving Feldt's grave alone with a new visitor.
The boy walked up to her grave with his gold eyes and changing patterns, those eyes meant to symbolize hope, but right now symbolized grief; but like the others he too wanted to see her off with a smile. Stepping close to the grave he saw a flower grow out of his suit, plucking it out he smiled knowing that Feldt's words have affected him. He smiled knowing that where he could fail to see it, she succeeded in pinpointing his humanity. Gently bending down he placed the flower on to her grave as he stared at the gravestone for a while. His thoughts were scrambled not knowing what to say, so he said what the simplest thing his mind came up with first, "Merry Christmas Feldt…"
Standing up he looked at the grave and the flower that soon began to take root within the grave's soil. Then other flowers began to sprout from the soil thanks to the one flower, "...thank you and…" Setsuna said as he began walking away, "Good bye…"
Bidding his final farewell to Feldt he smiled at the thoughts of what awaited him in the future, the types of life forms he may end up meeting, the new connections of understanding he may end up creating. However he will never forget her memories, he will keep them alive within the recesses of his mind.
'Thank you for giving me the chance to love as well Feldt…' Setsuna contemplated standing beside the now dis-camouflaged 00 Qan[T]. The Gundam lowered its hand for Setsuna to board as it raised him towards the cockpit soon after. The eyes now shining brightly with new found strength, he took off again into the darkness of space.
"Thank you ELS, thank you 00 Qan[T]" Setsuna whispered gently as the machine's GN particle output increased more so. A gesture of showing its care for Setsuna, while the ELS may not be able to communicate with Setsuna like humans can; they could still try their best to fulfill Setsuna's yearning from time to time. After all, the ELS to were alone in the universe, but when Setsuna came he changed that and they wanted to be there for him, in a way they strengthened their mutual understanding about humans everytime either through observation or through Setsuna's yearnings. The ELS felt satisfied as Setsuna could feel it within his Quantum brainwaves, he smiled feeling happy for them as he too had managed to achieve his understanding for Feldt and his humanity. Therefore they will forever transverse through space and time, passing on their understandings and gaining new ones in the process. Setsuna to will keep Feldt's memories alive and he will use it to further other's understanding, thus continuing his great mission and the purpose of his existence, now and forever…
A/N: Okay so that was longer than the last one eh? Hope you've all enjoyed it. Please tell me what you the kind readers think. As for the reasons I felt it was necessary to kill Feldt off, it was because I wanted it to symbolize Setsuna's eternal love for her as he will keep her alive in his memories, plus there was no cure for her paralysis and illness. I didn't specify the illness to specifically leave that up to your imaginations, plus I find this fitting in a way for the Gundam 00 story and Setsuna in specific.
Though some of you may wonder…
Reader: Monty why can't we have a happy joyous Christmas story? Why does it have to be tragic?
Monty: Well my dear readers, what can I say? The inner workings of my mind are far too complex to create a simple happy story (And that I'm too lazy to create a happy go lucky story like that).
Reader: But Mo-
Monty: No! Away with ye' into the corner!
Just kidding :D. So anyways please review away with all your critique :). And hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! X).
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