"Hey guys!" Spades greeted as she sat in her chair, "With permission from the awesome Empress Tansy, we are doing a commentary on The Glittering Empress. Fun right? Another Warrior story, don't you love the Warrior reviews?" Spades asked and the crowd responded with cheers.

After a minute, she calmed them down with waves of her hand, "All right, all right. Now, instead of doing this solo style like I usually do with the Warrior Reviews, I have a special guest with me. No M.C before you ask or assume," she said and grinned, "It's a special guest from our Warrior stories to be honest."

She gestured to the side of the stage for the guest to come out on but no one came. Frowning she turned to where Khaxan stood at the other end, "Where is our guest?"

The demon shrugged in response, "Don't know. You picked a stubborn furball though. I'll get em."

Khaxan walked off stage and a few minutes later, a red tomcat walked onto the stage grumbling, "Why am I even here? I need to be with my clans, helping them back on their feet! I don't even like twolegs! Yet I'm stuck working with one? Why? Just why?"

Spades smiled as he took a seat next to her in M.C's usual seat "Don't worry, you left the three clans in good hands; SunClan. I think they'll be okay if you're gone for a few hours," she assured him.

Cometblaze sighed in defeat, knowing she was right.

"Anyways, lets get this started, no?" Spades asked.

(A/N: Hey, y'all, this is my attempt at writing a trollfic. I don't know how funny/horrible it's going to be, so bare with me.

Relax, your story is awesome.

I don't even know what a Trollstory is.

If you have ideas for how I could improve the terribleness of the story, let me know.

What? Why would anyone want it to be awful?

It being awful is the point of a troll story

I want to make this as bad as possible

That makes no sense!

(though with mostly correct grammar). )

The Glittering Empress

What's an Empress?

I'll give you a lesson on Twoleg terms when this chapter is over.

Allegiances

PerfectClan

New Clans? But the name is awful.

Leader: Moralstar- black tom

Deputy: Goodheart- ginger she-ca

Medicine Cat: Doctorwho- dark brown tom

What? What in StarClans name is with these names?

Get used to it, they get worse.

Warriors:

Firestorm- boring tortoiseshell he-cat

Wildflame- boring ginger tom

Okay, that's rude! Calling them boring and we don't even know them!

That's rich coming from you, you're known for being rude and grouchy.

I have an awful temper, that's where my rudeness comes from. What's the excuse for this rudeness?

Hopevegetable- gray she-cat

Vegetable?

Sunmuffin- ginger she-cat

Muffin?

Blueberry- dark blue-gray she-cat

Ashphone- dark gray tom

What's in StarClan is a phone?!

So giving him a lesson when this chapter is done.

Vitaminheart- white tom

Tacobreath- cream-collored mot

These names are ridiculous! And I thought that Rockyroad and Cheesetail had awful names!

Taco breath is bad. Remember kids, brush your teeth after eating tacos.

Apprentices:

Sandpaw- boring ginger she-cat

Dictionarypaw- brown and white tom

I wonder if Dictionarypaw is really smart.

Netflixpaw- read she-cat

Read she-cat? What?

How do we read a she-cat?

Nerdpaw- boring blueish tom

Haha, nerd.

I'm so confused, only Sandpaw made sense.

Queens:

Cinderclaw- boring silver she-cat (mother of Basketballkit- orange tom and Elephantkit- gray tom)

Elephantkit?

Basketballkit?

Sparkledawn- ginger se- kat (mother of Jaykit- gray tom

Finally another cat with a normal name! Jaykit!

and Tattletalekit- brown she-cat)

Nice while it lasted, huh?

Majesticexcellency-

Just, no comment.

Same, that name is a mouthful.

beautiful golden tabby with crown-shaped markings on her hed and brillian greed eyes

Greedy eyes? Okay.

Crown shaped markings on her head? What color? WHAT COLOR?

(mother of Empresskit- gorgeous pale pink fur with golden star-shaped spots and rainbow eyes

Okay, so we know who the main character is now.

Pink fur…rainbow eyes...golden star….RAINBOW EYES! Oh StarClan, the horror!

and Dumbkit- dumb boring brown to)

Well, looks like you and Dumbkit have something in common; you're both horribly underappreciated because of your sister.

MeanClan

That name is interesting.

Leader: Hopestar- ugly black mot

Don't worry, Hopestar, it's the heart that counts. Not the pelt and face.

Yeah, look at Brightheart, she has that scar but I think she is one of the most beautiful cats in the books.

Deputy: Weirdlookingface- brown she-ca with a werd-luking face

Rude!

Extremely Rude!

Medicine cat: Herbmouth- green she-ca

Warriors:

Meaniehead- mean ugly tom

Can I stop commenting on these names? Their all messed up.

Nope.

Bossyleaf- bossy ginger she-cat

Snowwhite- white she-cat

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Grayfoot- boring tom with gray paws

Lilybeauty- purple tom

I would have thought that as a She-Cats name. But okay, a tom can have that name too.

Tigertail- black and white tom

Princessheart- brown and white tom

Disneychannelisawesomeheart- purple she-cat

Um. What?

Disney Channel Is Awesome Heart. That is by far the weirdest name so far.

Apprentices:

Evilpaw- possibly evil red tom

Just because we're red toms, we are not evil!

Nicepaw- possibly nice white she-cat

You don't have to live up to your names you know. You can be evil and Evilpaw can become nice.

Queens:

Roseugly- yellow and black she-cat (mother of rodentki- black tom and ididn'twantkitskit- rejected she-kit)

That is just heartless!

I agree!

Tansyheart- boring slender ginger she-cat with green eyes

Tansyheart isn't that bad of a name.

(mother of Starkit and Mallowkit- long-furred black she-cats with white chests and amber eyes)

I always wondered, is Ashfur the dad?

Who?

Prologue

A starry cat looked into a pol. Anudder starry cat asked "Wut is it?"

A awful prophecy involving an awful cat.

"A prophecy!" the first starry cat sed.

You called it.

"Out of the dumb stuff, a glittering empress will come and get rid of the dumb and mean stuff!"

This prophecy is pretty obvious.

"It's about Empresskit!" the second starry cat exclaimed.

Ya think?

It's like the Lunar prophecy. Hopefully she doesn't take as long to figure it out.

The first starry cat nodded. "Empresskit will be the savor of the Clans, Firestar.

Who?

A very moral cat from the original 4 Clans.

We will need to guide her and make sure everyone knows that she is perfect!"

Ugh, I already have a headache coming on.

I know.

"She will be the best leader the Clans have ever seen someday!"

No she won't. Brokenstar will always be a better leader than she. So will every leader but Tigerstar.

Firestar meowed. "Thank you for seeing dis profecy, Bluestar."

Bluestar is here?

Another Clan leader? Which clan are they?

Bullstar nodded. "An Empress alone will save PerfectClan."

Sounds like another prophecy.

"I'll teel Doctorwho," Firtsar meowed, walking away from the pool.

*Starts playing Dr. Who theme music*

I'm so confused.

(A/N: Was dat gu? Man, it's heard typing like that. Anyway, flame away if you want to!)

It was confusing. What's a phone? Tell me!

It was an awesome troll story.