"I knew it." Rachel said flatly. Puck broke away from Quinn and looked at his girlfriend, unable to speak. "I knew it was too good to be true. Thank you, Noah, for making me realize this now." She nodded to Quinn, as if to silently say, "Thank you too, but I don't blame you." She turned on her heel, skirt fanning out around her, and walked away from the closet, leaving the janitor's closet door to slam behind him. Trying to block out thoughts of Puck and the pregnant former cheerleader together, she headed to the auditorium. Walking over to the piano, she played a single note on the piano, playing her starting pitch. The only way to get through this was with music. She sang a capella her favorite song from Wicked, which seemed oddly appropriate now.
Hands touch
Eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy…
But I'm not that girl
She heard a door open and close, but it didn't matter anymore. This was for her, and she didn't care who heard.
Don't dream
Too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy…
But I'm not that girl
She tried desperately to do as the words advised her, to forget about how happy Noah made her, and to remember who she was. She was Rachel Barbara Berry. She was going to be on Broadway. She was going to be a star. And nobody, not Quinn, not Puck, not Finn, not that questionably parented baby, could ruin it for her.
Every so often, we long to steal
To the land of what might have been
But that doesn't soften the ache that we feel
When reality sets back in…
She breathed deeply and counted in her head the beats as the accompaniment should have been going by. She knew the instrumental by heart. It was something unchanging, something constant, that she could take comfort in. Change was good sometimes, but constant was better. Less to deal with, less to worry about.
Blithe smile
Lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Golden hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows…
I'm not that girl
Wow, these lyrics were oddly appropriate. This verse fit Quinn to a T. Or a Q, she supposed. Blithe smile, check. Lithe, well, she used to be until she got pregnant. Winsome, check. Curly golden hair, double check. And he'd chosen her now, not Rachel. Check, she thought forlornly.
Don't wish
Don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so…
She took a dramatic pause here, knowing her money note was coming. Not because her breath was catching and tears threatened to fall. That wasn't it at all.
I'm not that girl
Holding the last note out, she tried to keep her voice from wavering, and as she cut off, one tear hit the hard surface of the stage. As she turned to leave the auditorium through the backstage doors, she heard applause.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she saw Noah and Finn, one on either side of the auditorium. She wiped the tears from her eyes before they could fall and asked, half-yelling, "What do you want from me? Both of you!"
Finn, previously oblivious to Rachel's distress, ran up the stairs to the stage. "Rachel, are you OK?" He came toward her with arms outstretched, obviously headed for a hug. But Rachel didn't want a hug. Finn had hurt her, but she was hurting him more than ever by knowing about the baby.
Puck, on the other hand, sauntered slowly up the opposite stairs, hoping Finn would distract Berry long enough to let him come up behind her, but as she turned away from Finn to snub his hug, she saw him. "Berry…" he began, but she turned away from him too. She walked right past both of them, out the double doors backstage stage right. She was breaking out, breaking away, from this school and these stupid boys who had so terribly hurt her and caused her to so terribly hurt them. She wished they would dissipate into thin air… but then again, she didn't. She didn't know what she wanted.
So it was time to break away from them. She needed time, to clear her head, to allow her thoughts to be unclouded by the feelings she had for both boys. If that's what it takes to make it through this so I can get to the top, then I'll do it. She hummed Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" as she walked to her little red Neon and started to clear her head.
A/N: Yeah, a lil' angsty, I know. But was it good? Too weird? Forcing the theme too much? Leave me reviews and let me know! (By the way, just for reference this is sorta AU, set between when Rachel finds out about the baby's parentage and when Finn finds out.) ALSO: This is important!!!! I'm taking a reader poll: what pairing would you like me write one-shot #7 (entitled "Heaven") about? It can be Glee, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, JONAS, iCarly, Sonny with a Chance, Gallagher Girls, or NCIS. Let me know in a review!! :D
