New Divide
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"I remembered black skies,
The lightning all around me
I remembered each flash,
As time began to blur…"
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I remembered it like it was yesterday.
It was the night after the mission that we had lost Obito. There was a storm going on outside but I didn't care. Some people thought that I didn't sleep that night because of the storm. But they were wrong. The storm had not affected me what so ever. No, not the storm outside, but the storm that was going on inside my head.
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"…Like a startling sign,
That fate had finally found me,
And your voice was all I heard,
That I get what I deserve…"
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I had hoped that I would fade just a bit but that wasn't the case. There was nothing to let this memory fade. He was sure that it would stay with him for the rest of his life.
He closed his eyes hoping one last time that he would be able to sleep without the memory disturbing him. It seened like it would work so he relaxed until her heard a whisper. It sounded like someones voice traveling on the wind that was howling outside. He opened his eyes, looked out the window and gasped.
Someone was standing in front of his window. Since it was dark outside he could not see who it was until the lightening flashed and he saw the face that he never knew he would see again.
He was frozen to his spot on the bed.
The voice on the wind came back again.
"Watch over her…" it said.
Kakashi knew who he meant. He had already promised him that he would watch over her.
The lightening flashed again but the person outside was no longer there. Kakashi sighed and looked down and away from the window. He closed his eyes again thinking of how he would be able to protect Rin for Obito.
XxX
Something made him jerk up in his sleep. He looked around and found that everything was black. He could not see the window in his room, or the lightening from the storm. He knew he must have been dreaming. He looked around the blackness hoping to find someway out of here. a light clicked on above something in the distance making a silouete in front of him. Kakashi coulnt make out who the firgure was, but he walked towards it anyway.
When he got close enough the figure infront of him turned to face him.
"You get what you deserve!" the figure in front of him screamed out.
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"…So give me reason
To prove me wrong
To wash this memory clean
Let the thoughts cross
The distance in your eyes…"
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The dream had haunted him for the rest of his life. He knew it was just that…a dream but for some reason he thought there was some truth to what Obito had screamed at him that night. He lived his life thinking that if he had been stonger that they wouldn't have died. Not Obito. Not Rin. Not even Minato Sensei. He blamed himself for every one of their deaths, even if he had nothing to do with them.
When he became the leader of Team 7, he wondered if his students would be his first meeting he concluded that he only had to be worried about one. Sakura Haruno. Even though she made a major crush on Sasuke at the time he could tell that she was one to watch out for.
And through the years he was right
She had asked him on many occastions what he was thinking. Everytime she did he felt that she knew more than what she was letting on.
After one such incounter, he had actually let her know to much about himself. He had told her that everyone that was ever close to him was gone. She had remained quite for a few minutes but when she looked back up at him she said the one thing that would make him wonder for time to come, "It's not your fault. I can tell that you blame yourself. But you shouldn't. They wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over what had happened." She stood up and walked away, leaving him to think about what she said.
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"…Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies
Across this new divide…"
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It had been many months since Sakura had told him that. Ever since then she had always asked him a little more about what had happened, and every time he told her a little more. She could tell when he didn't want to speak about something so she let it be but there were other time when she knew there was something she could get out of him.
Every time, he told her it was his fault she confronted him about it, making him think about it more.
Every time, she gave him a reason to fill the space that was left empty when everyone was taken from him.
Every time she saw through his lies.
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"…There was nothing inside,
The memories left abandoned,
There was nowhere to hide,
The ashes fell like snow
and the ground caved in,
Between where we were standing,
And your voice was all I heard…"
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On the days that he wasn't with Sakura because she had to go out on missions, he felt alone. He had come to depend on Sakura in a way. Each time she had to leave he felt like she had taken everything with her leaving nothing but an empty shell behind. He tried to let the memories go, or at least to the back of his mind.
He was out walking in the forest when a light snow started to fall on the village. He looked up and the grey sky thinking how it mached his mood at the moment. He knew sakura would be home soon but he wasn't going to go wait for her at the gates, so he decided that he would go visit his comrades and the stone.
When he reached the stone the memories that he had left in the back of his mind came forward and he watched as each one played out before him. The many time that his team was seen happy together.
He did not know that all of the memories would bring a tear to his eye. It was something so knew that it caught him off guard. He reached up and wiped it off staring at his hand that was not wet from the tear.
"You're not to blame…" a voice whispered near him.
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"…And every loss and every lie
And every truth that you deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide…"
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He closed his eyes at the voice. He had denied the truth for so long that is consumed his life. There was always a part of him that knew it wasn't his fault for most of his comrade's deaths.
He regretted giving Sasuke 'special treatment' when Naruto and Sakura had become just as powerful as him.
Every time he said good-bye to his team, he wondered if he was ever going to see them again. Wondering if something were to happen if they knew he would give it his all to save them.
But he hides everything that was inside of him. He hides it behind his care-free lazy attitude. But only one person had made it through to him after many years of trying. She finally made it through. Only her.
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"…Give me reason
To fill this hole
Connect the space between
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies..."
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She had given him a reason to leave it behind. She had made him see that he did all he could to save everyone that he could.
He felt petite arms wrap around his waist.
He closed his eyes.
She was the only person that knew him.
She was the reason that he stayed alive now.
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"Across this new divide."
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ah ok so this was a really cool idea i got after hearing Linkin Parks new song 'New Divide' which will be on the Transformers 2 soundtrack!
Song: New Divide
Artist: Linkin Park
so tell me what you think! :D
Evil Angel
