SUICIDE WATCH

Synopsis: After the final battle, Draco has the unpleasant situation of needing to find Harry Potter.


I followed as Harry moved through the grounds, walking heavily in a disorientated gait as if he'd been stunned, or was a marked man summoned towards an inevitable destiny. But this was the chosen, golden... bloody supernova boy of the wizarding world. The adored, almighty bloody saviour. What the hell did he have to be depressed about?

When he collapsed without warning, waving my wand around like a lunatic, I stopped too, sliding out of his line of sight while I kept him in mine, waiting for the right moment.

'You were wrong!' Harry shouted, his hands pushing at the dirt in front of him before he rocked back on his heels. I ignored the outburst and moved a few steps closer, swinging around trees from the opposite direction. Leaf litter crunched unexpectedly and for a moment I thought I'd betrayed myself to Harry, but when I looked towards him, I saw my wand pointed not at me, but to his own chest.

Torn between the desire to observe his evident intention to self-destruct and an equal insistence to act, I did nothing. I'd known he was weak all along, the only thing that kept him going was the old man, over-inflating his sense of importance. Now everything was over, and the war was lost - or won, if you took their point of view - he'd deflated like an under-baked soufflé. This wasn't what I came here for. Why should I have to be the one to stop him doing what he should have done years ago? Why did he have to do it with my wand.

'You were so wrong.' Harry repeated himself to no one in particular, probably the dead dog, Black. 'The choices we make? How many have mine cost!'

He gasped in a breath - great, now he was crying too. I fidgeted, sensing the perfect opening insult, but Harry spoke again and completely ruined the moment I'd been planning for weeks.

'Avada Ke– '

'-You... coward.' I actually snarled at him when I spoke, like an animal. Surprising myself that I'd interrupted at all, it seemed best to make the intrusion at least appear intentional. I stepped forwards into his wand light, lifting my head at the last moment to ensure my entrance had the intended effect.

He recoiled in shock, eyes wide, cheeks flushed with adrenaline.

'Malfoy.' Harry's voice was little more than an husky croak as he retreated a few paces under my unexpected advance. Vulnerability lent him guilt as he glanced at the cloak lying absently in a spot between us.

'All these years, you've taken me so lightly,' I whispered.

'What?' Harry seemed distracted, handling my wand in agitation. The light from its tip jumped in the air as he turned it in his hand. 'Why the hell are you following me?'

'I'd have thought that was fairly obvious.' How gallant of him to entirely forget. 'You have my wand? I should like the opportunity to win it back before you use it to top yourself, if it's not too much trouble.'

'I wasn't... I'm not doing anything.' His voice rose in protest, like a child caught nicking biscuits.

'Whatever you say, let's just get this over with. If you're still keen when I've won my wand back, I'll oblige you myself.'

'Get the fuck out of here, Malfoy.' Harry muttered darkly, slipping into old habits absently as he turned, shielding his eyes. It was a bit late to try and hide his shame now.

'I'm capable of more than it might seem, Potter.' I weighed the words unmistakably, but he seemed unable to move himself to face me. No intention of making my job any easier it seemed.

'So. You want to duel?' He surmised, and I smiled.

'Let us, shall we say, go through the motions.'

'What?' Harry turned finally. 'Malfoy, I haven't got time for this.'

'Far be it from me to keep you from pressing business, but I rather need my wand, Potter.'

'And I rather don't care.' Harry stated, his tone betraying otherwise.

'You would if you knew that my father's lost the plot completely. I heard him talking to himself about killing us all.'

'Us?'

'My mother and I,' I looked down at his dirty clothes, they were damp to his skin. He was a complete mess. Not that many were much of a better state back at the castle.

'Oh. Narcissa.' The way he said my mother's name sent a chill up my spine. 'She saved my life.'

I could barely speak for a moment. 'Why?' was all I could demand.

He laughed unexpectedly. 'To make sure you survived, idiot. Why else?'

'Touching,' I murmured, but inside my body tingled with the pleasure of her risk for me.

'Have the wand, I'd lose anyway,' Harry interrupted, picking up his cloak and walking quickly past. He thrust it at my hand but I wouldn't touch the thing. He knew how this had to go.

'I challenge you to fight me, Harry Potter.' I only whispered his name now.

'Not in the mood.' He kept walking.

I stood in fury, unable to think of what to do next. I couldn't force him to fight me. Though noble law dictated he answer a challenge honourably, I shouldn't have been surprised that it meant so little to a muggle-born.

Even if I resorted to a physical fight, it would be little more than a hollow-victory - that fickle lump of Hawthorn still wouldn't work for me. Whatever had possessed me to speak up and save him, I really couldn't say.