A/N: Another one-shot that my friend and I thought up at a piano recital! We were eating Oreos and cupcakes after everyone had played their pieces and we were thinking of stupid, yet funny, things like this.

Disclaimer: JRR Tolkien...need I say more?

Shelob's battle with the giant purple upside-down flat ugly chocolate cupcake monster from hell with rainbow sprinkles or jimmies if you're a Yankee which was made by a man named Bob who had once swallowed a flute whole while looking up hippo races on the Internet, which was invented by Bill Gates, a multi-millionaire computer geek slash nerd who I enjoy laughing at, among other things, for example, the Americans because I went to Florida once for a vacation and as I was walking past a large group of Yanks and I said, "I can't wait to get home so I can go ice fishing so I can catch a beaver to feed to my pet polar bear in my igloo eh" and they gave me the funniest looks, speaking of which my friend's brother gets the strangest look on his face when he says "yes" and he looks seriously evil but I'm rambling so mebbe I should get on with the story. By hyper squirrel

One day, Shelob battled a giant purple upside-down flat ugly chocolate cupcake monster from hell with rainbow sprinkles or jimmies if you're a Yankee which was made by a man named Bob who had once swallowed a flute whole while looking up hippo races on the Internet, which was invented by Bill Gates, a multi-millionaire computer geek slash nerd who I enjoy laughing at, among other things, for example, the Americans because I went to Florida once for a vacation and as I was walking past a large group of Yanks and I said, "I can't wait to get home so I can go ice fishing so I can catch a beaver to feed to my pet polar bear in my igloo eh" and they gave me the funniest looks, speaking of which my friend's brother gets the strangest look on his face when he says "yes" and he looks seriously evil but I'm rambling so mebbe I should get on with the story.

Long story short, the giant purple upside-down flat ugly chocolate cupcake monster from hell with rainbow sprinkles or jimmies if you're a Yankee which was made by a man named Bob who had once swallowed a flute whole while looking up hippo races on the Internet, which was invented by Bill Gates, a multi-millionaire computer geek slash nerd who I enjoy laughing at, among other things, for example, the Americans because I went to Florida once for a vacation and as I was walking past a large group of Yanks and I said, "I can't wait to get home so I can go ice fishing so I can catch a beaver to feed to my pet polar bear in my igloo eh" and they gave me the funniest looks, speaking of which my friend's brother gets the strangest look on his face when he says "yes" and he looks seriously evil but I'm rambling so mebbe I should get on with the story won, and went on to the championships.

Such a brave giant purple upside-down flat ugly chocolate cupcake monster from hell with rainbow sprinkles or jimmies if you're a Yankee which was made by a man named Bob who had once swallowed a flute whole while looking up hippo races on the Internet, which was invented by Bill Gates, a multi- millionaire computer geek slash nerd who I enjoy laughing at, among other things, for example, the Americans because I went to Florida once for a vacation and as I was walking past a large group of Yanks and I said, "I can't wait to get home so I can go ice fishing so I can catch a beaver to feed to my pet polar bear in my igloo eh" and they gave me the funniest looks, speaking of which my friend's brother gets the strangest look on his face when he says "yes" and he looks seriously evil but I'm rambling so mebbe I should get on with the story.

Don't you think?

I like giant purple upside-down flat ugly chocolate cupcake monster from hell with rainbow sprinkles or jimmies if you're a Yankee which was made by a man named Bob who had once swallowed a flute whole while looking up hippo races on the Internet, which was invented by Bill Gates, a multi- millionaire computer geek slash nerd who I enjoy laughing at, among other things, for example, the Americans because I went to Florida once for a vacation and as I oh by the way I am doing a survey to see who will actually read the whole thing through even though they can tell it's going to be the same long paragraph time after time so if you read this all the way through then please write the words "bubblegum monkey drawn in margarine" so I will know how many reviewers actually read the whole thing thank you have a nice day was walking past a large group of Yanks and I said, "I can't wait to get home so I can go ice fishing so I can catch a beaver to feed to my pet polar bear in my igloo eh" and they gave me the funniest looks, speaking of which my friend's brother gets the strangest look on his face when he says "yes" and he looks seriously evil but I'm rambling so mebbe I should get on with the story.

Especially when they beat up on Shelob. I often go to watch the battles between Shelob and a giant purple upside-down flat ugly chocolate cupcake monster from hell with rainbow sprinkles or jimmies if you're a Yankee which was made by a man named Bob who had once swallowed a flute whole while looking up hippo races on the Internet, which was invented by Bill Gates, a multi-millionaire computer geek slash nerd who I enjoy laughing at, among other things, for example, the Americans because I went to Florida once for a vacation and as I was walking past a large group of Yanks and I said, "I can't wait to get home so I can go ice fishing so I can catch a beaver to feed to my pet polar bear in my igloo eh" and they gave me the funniest looks, speaking of which my friend's brother gets the strangest look on his face when he says "yes" and he looks seriously evil but I'm rambling so mebbe I should get on with the story.

They're quite amusing.

A/N: Thank you for wasting your time by reading this. Time well wasted. And that's my slogan! Please waste more time by reviewing. Thank you ever so much.

And remember...

FLAMES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!