Distorted Apocalypse: X/1999 Drabbles
Disclaimer: I do not own X/1999 or any other work of fiction used in the following drabbles.
A/N: Just a few amusing ideas I had that I wanted to get down on paper.
Drabble #1
All the prophecies said that it would be the end of the world on the day the two Kamui's faced one another. They assumed that the fight between the two would be what would cause this fate. As the saying goes: Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.
Bad Forecast #1
Finally, the time of judgment had arrived. Now was the time that the fate of the world would be decided. Two shinken, two Kamui's—both poised before one another in the climactic battle for the End of Days…
Until a booming, haughty voice echoed from above them.
"People of Earth, your attention please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less that two of your Earth minutes. Thank you."
Well…that was certainly unexpected by the two Kamui's, who couldn't help but blink confusedly up at the now disturbingly and quite conspicuously visible ships that seemed to hang in the sky.
"There's no point in acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now."
The simultaneous thoughts of all the human beings on the planet seemed to communicate one thing, and apparently the intruders picked up what it was.
"What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? For heaven's sake mankind, it's only four light years away you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs that's your own lookout.
"Energize the demolition beams."
The two Dragons continued to blink.
"Apathetic bloody planet, I've no sympathy at all."
And with that, a feeling of dread settled over the inhabitants of Earth.
Kamui turned to his dark counterpart.
"Well, so much for us, I guess."
And with that, everything went black
Incidentally, it was a Thursday.
A/N: Am I insane? Probably.
Note: The Vogon quotes come directly out of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy—so I take absolutely no credit for them.
