If you like Twilight please just like stop reading right here...This story is meant to make fun of Twilight so yeah. I don't own Twilight (thank France) or Hetalia (I wish I did) so enjoy, more chapters shall come as I make them. I hope you guys like this xD


I was moving to a town called Spoons to live with my father, Sealand-ie. Even though it was my choice to move there, I couldn't stop whining about it.

"Iggy-la," my mother, Latvia-ee started "you do know that you don't have to go, right?"

"I know mum, but I have to go as I don't particuarly want to make you and him keep having to take care of me." I said.

My mother gave me a quick hug and I left to get on my plane and away from rainy old England. Of course when I got out of the plane, and hoping for some sunshine, I got rain. "Bloody hell," I said "where the hell is the sun, and where is Sealand-ie, that wanker?"

"IGGY-LA~ YOU'VE GROWN!" My father Sealand-ie yelled hugging me, and my worst nightmare had come true, he was the town sherif, people were recognizing him.

"Bloody hell put me down Seala-I mean dad," I sputtered, forgetting that I could only call him Sealand-ie around my mum. Or in my thoughts which were more often than not, very whiny.

"But Iggy-la, I thought you loved hugs? Or did you change and become more tsundere since I've last seen you?" Sealand-ie asked.

"I'm not a tsundere, I've just never liked hugs!" I said, denying the fact that I was completely unlikeable.

"Oh, well lets drive back to the house in an awkward silence." Sealand-ie said getting into his police car.

When I reached the house I saw the most atrocious piece of machinery to ever exist sitting in the front yard, some rust stained old pickup truck that was so obviously american made I wanted to hurl. "Er dad, what is this...Thing in the yard?" I asked.

"Well, Canada-y stopped by and dropped that off for you to drive. Don't you just love it? I do, it reminds me of where I was born, it's rusty, it's from the 40s, and nobody really likes it except for me." Sealand-ie said.

"Er, who's Canada-y?" I asked

"You don't remember Canada-y? He pracically raised you!" Sealand-ie exclaimed.

"Er no not at all, whatever I'm gonna go mope in my room a bit," I said.

The first thing I noticed about my room was it looked like the interior of a ship, actually the whole house looked like that, my father for some reason really likes ships. When I went into the single bathroom in the house I just stared at my reflection in the mirror wondering whether or not I should trim my bushy eyebrows for school the next day. I decided not to and went to my room to cry.

The next morning I woke up and made myself a breakfast of scones trying not to be too early for school. After I finished my scones I went upstairs to get dressed and then leave in my piece of junk truck to get to school.

When I got to the World Academy W the first thing I noticed was that it was extremely fancy, and everyone had better cars than me and so I decided to murder my father when I got home that day. Upon entering the school I noticed that every male in the school was staring at me, and by every male in the school that probably about 99% of the student body. I didn't understand why everyone was staring at me, after all I was pretty unlikeable and there was pretty much a cloud of look at me and die hanging above my head. Yet people still wanted to stare at me, and drown in a pile of drool.

"Hey! Are you new here? Can I claim your breasts to be mine?" asked a man who looked to be South Korean.

"I do happen to be new here, and I do not have breasts! I have pecs! By the way what is your name?" I stammered.

"I'm Korea-ic, and did you know that those shoes you're wearing originated in me? Oh the school newspaper also originated in me. The teachers originated in me, and so did education." Korea-ic said jumping up and down excitedly.

"O...kay then." I said walking faster.

By lunch I managed to make two more friends, Russia-ke and China-ca, so I sat with them at lunch. But there was a group of people who had caught my eye. "Who are they?" I asked

"They're the Mullens, none of them are biologically related, so most of them are going out with each other. Italy-ice and Germany-er are dating, Finland-lie and Sweden-et are dating, and France-ward is all alone, of course he's gone out with every male in this school, even me. Though I don't want to talk about that, I had to get an abortion." China-ca said.

I realy wanted to point out the fact that they were both male, and thus it was impossible for China-ca to get pregnet but that doesn't seem like something that he would take lightly, so I just stared at France-ward's beautiful blue eyes. His hair was long and blonde, and he even had a slight beard. But when he turned his head to look at me I turned away quickly, waiting for the lunch bell to ring.

When it came time for biology I practically ran to the room so I wouldn't be late and the teacher told me to sit in the only open seat, right next to France-ward Mullen.

"H-hi, France-ward, I'm Iggy-la Herring, it's nice to meet you," I said polietly as I was a gentleman after all.

"Bonjour, mon cher, it's a pleasure to meet you. Non?" France-ward said to me, his hand reaching down to grope my ass.

After the ass gropeing incident I tried to move my seat farther away from him, and ran out crying that my inocence was ruined, and I was crying all the way home.