This is fic is set after New Moon which had an alternate ending. Instead of Edward and Bella continuing their relationship, Edward told Bella he couldn't hurt her anymore and said that he couldn't completely stay away from her, so they would be friends. Bella reacts the same way she did in the beginning of New Moon. Alice has a plan to get the two of them back together. Will it work?
Almost Lovers
Images of him ran through my mind: his soft fingers gently grazing my arm - up and down - comforting me after the greatest danger we had faced yet, his eyes holding sadness with a touch of hope; cleaver, cruel tricks. I should have known better. He had left me before, he'd do it again. He had never meant to love me.
Two months, two painfully long months without him. Sure, I saw him everyday at school. I resented Charlie for making me go.
Nothing changed when we came back home to Forks. He told me he didn't want to hurt me anymore. I asked him why he bothered coming back then. He told me he couldn't stand to be without me. That he had to at least see me and know I was well. I laughed a hard, forced laugh at that. He said that he was too selfish to stay away from me and that he would just have to settle on being friends. I still remember the sad shock that had coursed through my body at the word. It sounded dirty and vulgar. I had turned to walk away from him. If I couldn't have all of him, I didn't want any part of him at all. But he ran in front of me with his amazing speed, put his hand under my chin and made me look up at him. His face was so beautiful it hurt to look at. He told me that if I wanted to forget him I could, that he would understand but he wished I wouldn't. Then to top it all off with a big, fat cherry he kissed my lips - just a soft, two second peck – and left.
I wish I could forget about him, but I couldn't. During the day I built walls to keep out the thoughts of him that threatened to creep in. But at night, the walls I had built crumbled down and I was subjected to hopeless dreams that would never come true. It was worse than when he had left me the first time. I knew he was out there, and that he just refused to see me, even call me. Instead he would just follow me around all day at school, thinking I didn't know he was there. Whether it be lurking in the hallway behind me, peeking in on me through someone's mind, asking Alice what I was up to, he was always there, a constant reminder of what used to be and what could have been.
Every morning I started my day like this and today was no exception. I rolled out of bed, grabbed my bag of toiletries, and went to the bathroom. 10 minutes later I stepped out of the shower, careful not to look at my reflection. I knew I would see the same thing as I had months and months ago; two dull brown eyes glaring back at me, my skin almost as sallow as his – what a sick joke - and his family's, and my hair flatly falling around my face. I was the poster child for misery. I had gotten used to getting ready for school without a mirror, I looked horrible, why waste my time?
I drove off to school, and pulled into my usual spot, trying not to look for a certain shiny, silver Volvo. I failed and saw it about 10 spots away. Sighing I got out of my truck and made my way to the school. The first three periods flew by quickly and I was making my way toward my fourth period class. I shared this class with Alice who I had remained friends with despite who her brother was. We never talked about him but I knew she knew I was dying to know if he missed me, if he ever talked about me, if he had truly moved on. We had become so close in such a short period of time and nothing could break the bond we shared.
As I sat down next to her, I noticed a note on my desk.
We're doing something tomorrow.
What?
Silly Bella, it's a surprise!
I sighed. Alice knew I hated surprises. She grabbed the note off my desk and wrote something, passing it back to me when she was finished.
You're not going to ruin my plans. I'm spending the night tonight.
Ok. Charlie's not home for a couple days. He won't mind, he loves you.
We're going to have so much fun Bella!
I rolled my eyes. Alice's idea of fun and mine were completely different.
The day seemed to drag as the impending sleepover and girls' night out loomed nearby. I met Alice at my truck and she said she'd be over at my house in a about an hour, she just had to grab her things. I told her that was fine and I soon left the school and the long week behind me.
I kept telling myself it was the weekend and I should have some fun but I wasn't so sure if spending time with Alice would be pleasurable. She was an only too constant reminder of him. When Alice came we spent most of the night making me up like a model. She did my nails twice, my hair and makeup several times, and put me in dozens of ridiculous ensembles. Finally at about 1 in the morning Alice told me I should go to bed. I fought to keep my eyes open but with her delicate fingers continuously running through my hair it was hard to stay awake
I slept horribly having dream after dream with him. They started off as sweet memories of times him and I spent together like in our meadow and turned into those of the dangers we had faced. Finally I began to have the same nightmare I had for months after he left. I was running in the dark woods, not seeing or finding anyone and finally falling to the forest floor, cold and unfeeling. I woke up screaming with tears spilling out of my eyes and streaming down my cheeks. I sobbed so uncontrollably that my whole body shook, even as Alice held me close. She told me, "Shhh Bella, its okay," over and over again. My tears had soaked the front of her black shirt and the salt from them had stained it as well. I eventually fell back asleep with my head on Alice's shoulder, her fingers in my hair again.
When I woke up in the morning, Alice looked terrified and slightly relieved.
"Thank goodness you're awake." She exclaimed. I tried to talk but I couldn't find my voice. I struggled to get up, but Alice fought against me.
Understanding I said, "Alice it's okay. I just need a glass of water." My voice was hoarse.
I must have had a puzzled look on my face because Alice said, "You were talking in your sleep last night - I forgot you did that- and then you started screaming. I tried to calm you down but nothing helped." She looked dismal as she told me this. I didn't ask her what I was saying in my sleep; I had a pretty good idea of what I said.
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Alice took me to Port Angeles to shop. We went into dozens of designer stores and I felt like I spent my whole afternoon in the dressing room. She insisted on buying what felt like everything in the store even though I refused many times. She just constantly gave me a look that made me think of the phrase "if looks could kill".
When we were done shopping Alice asked if she could drive my truck and I obliged, still noticing her somewhat disgusted look. We eventually pulled up to her house. I started to tell her that this wasn't a good idea, but she told me he and Jasper were hunting. The two of us walked up the stairs to her room and Alice led the way to her bathroom that was almost as big as two of my living rooms combined. Alice told me to sit in a chair in front of her long mirror. She left the bathroom saying she would be right back. I kept my eyes away from the mirror and tried not to think of the last time I was in this room, this chair. Alice came back in a matter of two minutes with a garment bag folded over her arm.
"You have no idea how long I've been planning this and how long this poor dress has been just hanging in my closet." She said as she unzipped the bag. Inside was an elegant dress that was a dark navy blue.
"I can't wear that, Alice." I said, turning my head away.
"Of course you can. And you're going to do it with a smile." She came up behind me and tugged my shirt over my head.
"I can do that," I said, defeated.
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I still didn't understand why Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, and I were at this Karaoke lounge watching people go up on the large stage and perform a song with a pianist. It was entertaining and all the men and women who sang were so talented but I was clueless as to why we were here. Alice's phone buzzed in her purse and she flipped it open, putting it up to her ear.
"Yeah, it's time." She said, and snapped it shut.
A tall man walked onto the stage, picking up the mic. "And next to the stage we have Ms. Bella Swan!" He announced. There was an enormous amount of applause and I looked to Alice and gave her an incredulous look. Emmett let out a howl of laughter and Rosalie looked indifferent. Carlisle and Esme smiled at me and Alice pushed me toward the stage.
"I don't even know what I'm singing!" I told her.
"Don't worry, the pianist knows." She called after me.
I was going to kill Alice for this. I made my way toward the stage, sure that my face was a bright pink. I walked slowly up the stairs to the stage, thinking to myself not to fall flat on my face in these ridiculous heels Alice made me wear. The pianist handed me sheet music but I didn't need it, I already knew this song too well.
Alice wanted me to sing "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy but I just couldn't. What she didn't know is that I heard this song all the time and it was constantly stuck in my head. This song was a testiment to what happend between him and I but what other choice did I have?
The small women at the keys started tinkering away, and it made me think of a special song he had once played for me. Suddenly my dream was coming alive, my angel came through the doors of the lounge alongside Jasper. They made their way toward the table where the rest of their family sat and joined them. Alice pointed to the stage and his eyes met mine. I almost lost my nerve.
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Of course I didn't need Alice to point her out. I knew she was there, her scent overpoweing me even before I walked into the lounge. What was my sister up to this time?
Bella walked up to the mic and began to sing, so beautifully, I had never heard a sweeter sound.
"Your finger tips across my skin, the palm trees swaying in the wind; images."
She started softly, almost unsure of herself, not looking up.
"You sang me Spanish lullabyes, the sweetest sadness in your eyes; clever trick."
Bella looked up to an imaginary point above the audience's heads, the pain clearly painted on her face.
"Well I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me."
She faultered for a moment, her gaze dropping to me, though she quickly fixed her mistake.
"Good-bye my almost lover, good-bye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be?"
I thought she would cry but I should know better than that. Bella was strong.
"So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache; almost lovers always do."
That was a hard blow. I felt like crying myself.
"We walked along a croweded street, you took my hand and danced with me; images."
This song was so true. Why would Alice put Bella through such torture? To make her relieve every memory of us she had?
"And when you left you kissed my lips. You told me you would never let me forget these images."
My angel almost looked angry at this and looked to me again. I pretended not to notice.
"Well I never want to see you unhappy. I thought you'd want the same for me. Good-bye my almost lover, good-bye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache; almost lovers always do."
Her voice gradually grew louder until it crescendoed into the bridge.
"I cannot go to the ocean, I cannot drive the streets at night, I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind."
I noticed a single tear fall from her left eye as she sang.
"So you're gone and I'm haunted and I bet you are just fine. Do I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?"
My angel looked right at me as she sang this and her gaze never left me.
"Good-bye my almost lover, good-bye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be? So long my luckless romance, my back is turned on you. Should've known you'd bring me heartache; almost lovers always do."
When the piano stopped, the audience roared with applause and many of them, including my family, stood up.
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When the song was over, I didn't listen to the applause, I just ran off the stage, onto the wings, and down a hallway where I knew he would be waiting for me.
"Bella, that was -"
"Edward, look," it burned my throat a little to say his name. "I don't want to make you regret anything, so I'll just call a cab to take me home."
"Bella, don't be ridiculous. I will take you home. There's no need for that."
"I want to go home." I said sternly.
"I want to speak with you." His golden eyes burned into mine but I was determined not to give in.
"We don't have anything to talk about. Tell Alice thanks for making a fool out of myself." I tried to walk away but he was there in front of me again. I tried not to think about another situation like this.
"Please Bella. I'm so sorry for all the things I said to you. I was foolish, I was wrong.'
"What, do you want me back?" I spat at him. I didn't intend for it to sound harsh.
"Well, yes." He admitted.
"Let me guess, you've seen the error of your ways? Well that's not going to work this time. You had me, Edward. All of me and I wanted all of you but you left and when you came back you just wanted to be friends. I can't just be friends with you, Edward."
"So it's going to be all or nothing with you?" He asked. I didn't answer him.
"Bella, I miss you, I shouldn't have hurt you that way. I was trying to prevent myself from causing you physical harm, but I guess I didn't think of your heart." He grabbed my hand. "Isabella, please forgive me. Please."
I looked in his eyes, not knowing what to say. I loved him with all of my heart. I needed him, I couldn't stand not to be with him. But I was terrified he would leave me again.
I stepped up on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his. For a moment there was nothing but us, in each other's arms. I would have to be sure he was here, forever and that he was mine, forever. I wanted all of him and I had all of him and for now that was ok.
Like it? Hate it? Let me know! This is my first fic. Oh and after this, you can put the bedroom scene from New Moon where Edward's apologizing and what not. Hope you liked it. Thanks for reading
xox 3 kaylinxoxkisses 3 xox
