Thursday, May 15, 2008
I haven't written in here since the day the Cohen's repurchased the house in Berkeley, so this entry will be more of a catch up. Tomorrow I'll start back on my daily insights. I'm glad I'm finally getting around to journal again. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The Cohen's have moved back to Newport Beach. Although Sandy has been enjoying teaching law at Berkeley, he really missed working as a public defendant. He wrapped up his semester work last week and came down with Kirsten and Sophie the next day. I think Kirsten missed the area even more. I've found when you move from your home, even if it's a not so nice place like Chino, you miss it. The Cohens felt that way about Berkeley, which is why they moved back. But then they felt that way about Newport Beach even more. They didn't sell the house in Berkeley, though. They already made that mistake once. It will be their second home, and they said I'm more than welcome to use it when I start attending Berkeley College in the fall. I'm not sure if I'll take them up on that offer, though. I may want to live in campus to get the true college experience…at least for a couple of years. We'll see.
Their new house in Newport Beach is actually on the exact same property as their old house was when the earthquake destroyed it. Sandy has denied it, but I think in the back of his mind he always intended to rebuild. If you can believe it, the house is bigger. Maybe they're preparing for expanded family visits. Summer will be coming home soon—a little earlier than expected--and not long after there will be a wedding, and before we all know it they'll be bringing little ones with them. The pool is bigger, and the pool house actually has five rooms now and an upstairs. It rivals the size of the house in Berkeley. Sandy and Kirsten offered it to Taylor and me, and for now we're taking them up on it. The funny thing is that in addition to this pool house, they built another smaller pool house that is about the same size as the original and serves as the true pool house. So where I am now is more like a guest house…completely self sufficient. I actually wouldn't mind living here for quite some time. There's plenty of room for Taylor and me, and even for one or two more. Besides, how can I deny myself morning bagels when I'll be home from school?
Things with Taylor have been great. You should see how she interacts and takes care of Sophie. She has been her unofficial nanny, and I can tell she's going to be a wonderful mother…which makes me love her even more. I've known for a while now she and I will be together forever. We both know we're going to get married, but it's up to me to decide when I'm going to pop the question. Part of me feels I should wait at least until Seth asks Summer, but another part of me wants to ask her now. I wouldn't be surprised if one day soon, I buy a ring. We'll see.
It's different with Taylor than it was with Marissa. With Taylor, everything feels so right and comfortable and exciting. We're almost like two people joined into one when we're together. With Marissa, everything was so complicated. The love was true and genuine between us, but we could never rest and be happy. There was so much baggage that kept piling up, and it ended in a way I will never fully recover. I'm still haunted by the thought if I never showed up, maybe Marissa would still be alive. I just need to accept what has happened, which gets easier every day, and move on with my life and be happy with Taylor. Marissa would have wanted it that way.
I feel like the luckiest man around. As I type this on my PC and look out the window at the ocean as the sun sets, I'm reminded of that even more. Sandy and Kirsten saved my life. Seth has given me the unconditional friendship I never had and cherish so much. Marissa taught me that love, no matter how much against the odds it can be, is worth fighting for no matter what people say. And Taylor…my wonderful, beautiful Taylor…she proves to me every day how much of a gift it is to simply wake up each morning. I absolutely am the luckiest man on this planet!
